Slumber Party! (multi-authored thread)

[Guest Morganex]

Open to participation!

 

*****

 

In Minta's room in the Pen keep, the arms of the imp nailed to the wall pointed at 9:30, yet the giggling, chattering girls showed no signs of settling down to sleep. Minta sat on the satin comforter with one of the zombie children, dipping severed fingers into a bowl of pixy stix sugar and licking off the flavor; Gloria drained another hand and neatly snipped off the fingers before dropping them into the bowl on the floor. Little Morgane looked strangely at the fingers and kept on sucking at her lollipop while flipping through a beauty magazine she'd "borrowed" from her older sister, until Moonchilde forcibly turned the page and pointed out an advertisement in the classified ads. Girls and zombies crowded around staring curiously at the little block of text:

 

always left out at parties?

feel like no one understands you?

and the boys never seem to notice you?

now with this secret magical potion,

everyone will like you within minutes!

Scry #990 today!

 

"Who would want boys to notice them?" wondered Minta, crinkling her nose.

 

Moonchilde shook her head and put her hands on her hips. "No, no, you don't give that to boys. If you get in trouble, you're supposed to use that to make everyone like you and then you can do whatever you want!"

 

"Ohhhhhh. . .Neat!"

 

"I want some!"

 

"I'll never have an early bedtime again!"

 

Gloria heard a cautionary whisper. "We shouldn't do it," she relayed, "we don't know where it comes from--"

 

"But I wanna try it!" protested little Morgane. "Let's get some!"

 

They read further:

 

only 250,000 gold! order today!

 

Hands dived into pockets, searched under the bed, ripped open game pieces from the sides of candy boxes, even dared to scour Rosemary's silversmithing studio for scraps of precious metals.

 

"I got a fifty gold piece."

 

"Ummm, I spent all mine on candy for the party."

 

"I found a tarnished silver ring."

 

"Sowwy. . ."

[Lady Celes Crusader]

Morganex posted,

 

"What about......." Morgane sucks her lolly in concentration.

 

"How did she call it....not the old one....the middle one....that stone thingy....makes u money....."

 

Morgane frowns and tries to think of the name of the thing.

 

"Stone thingy stone thingy stone philo psilo pilo GOT IT

We need to make a philosophers stone!"

 

With a happy smile Morgane settles back on her pillow and licks her Lolly.

Lady Celes Crusader posted,

 

*Meanwhile, in a quiet room nearby the slumber party, Lady Celes Crusader makes several wishes. One of these wishes grants her 10 of what Morgane calles "philosophers stone". The French of the Snowy Land sights*

 

- Ah non! I've got no use for these Sage Stone. I've got plentiful of money already.

 

*She shrugs and puts the stones in velvet bag and then, the back is gently disposed in a small wooden chest.*

 

- I think some mages will give me some more useful items in exchange of these by tomorrow.

 

*Then she hears a cat's purring and a black cat goes to her and looks at her with its big yellow eyes.

 

- Allô mon Cambronne, she says while taking the cat and cradle it in her arms, tu a faim mon beau minou? Je vais t'emmener là où il en a.

 

*Before making her way to the small kitchen, where the cat food where, Celes takes a look over her other cat, a grey, tiger-like stripped female that goes by the name of Carbone, if it seems hungry but it was sleeping quietly. Celes smiles and leaves the study, closing its door behind her. Since she doesn't have the key with her, she didn't locked it.*

[Wyvern]

14:30. Skanky Skull Marsh, Terra...

Deep within the disgusting, putrid depths of the weed entangled mosquito hellhole known as Skanky Skull Marsh is constructed a huge building labeled "Scry Potion and Cosmetic Manufacturing Headquarters". The executive branch of the enormous beauty product company had decided on Skanky Skull as the ideal location for their headquarters as none of their competetors would ever think of checking for them there, and thus they would never be robbed of their brilliant products or ideas. In addition, the Marsh was in a very convenient location for the manufacturing and distribution of their products, as it was equidistant from the enormous city of Fallerox and the national cemetary. "Scry Potion and Cosmetics" used the city as a place to advertise their products, and incorporated the cemetary as a source of ingredients for their beauty materials (they used fresh cadavers as the principal component of their highly acclaimed facial lotions...). Coincidentaly, the literary guild of the Pen is Mightier then the Sword was also located only a short ways from the marsh...

 

On the third floor of this seemingly out of place light grey building, down a narrow well-lit hall of paintings and behind a little black door entitled 'Execs Only', an important meeting was taking place between the principal powers of Scry industries. They had just released an add for their most powerfull product to date... Scry #990, a potion fabricated to attract boys with an efficiency equivalent to that of tiny nails being attracted to a 2,000 gigahurtz AcmeMagnet...

 

That was an awfull lot of boys.

 

The event of the products completion had come across as so revolutionary that the president of the corporation, Iam Greedy, had come down to the headquarters in order to discuss issues of pricing and advertisements... Several concerned voices echoed in the 'Exec Only' room...

 

Wyvern, dressed in the attire of a janitor (complete with mop), had been listening intently to the conversation by placing his ear to the keyhole of the door. He had been sent to mop for Scry industries in order to pay off a debt, and had unintentionaly caught onto these executive discussions. As the various aspects of the product are discussed, including it's current pricing of 250,000 gold, an evil grin begins spreading over Wyvern's face. If he could get hold of that product, he could charge it for SO much more...

 

Wasting no time and rushing to the nearest public crystal ball utility, Wyvern quickly does the incantation of his geld partner Valdar's crystal ball. There is static for a few moments, then gradualy a distorted image of Valdar's face appears...

 

"Hello?" speaks Valdar lazily from his end of the crystal ball.

 

"Hi Valdar..." chimes Wyvern cheerfully "... ready to make some more geld?"

 

Valdar swallows hard.

[Jechum]

Jechum feels a tug on his robes...

 

Jechum reaches for his money poach and feels that its still there.

 

Jechum smiles and continues on floating down the hallway.

[Guest Valdar and Astralis]

Fanned by the multiple wings of the winged elves, Valdar lazily sipped the strange fruit juice and sat back to watch his opponent move a stone. Absently, he scratched his arm, recently scarred by a silly little demon captain which mistook him for a herald dilevaring a message.

 

Outwardly calm, his mind worked furiously, trying to trace the path his enemy was attempting to take.

 

He leaned forward, and rearranged several sha peices.

"Check"

 

The godling laughed uproriously.

Well, isn't that the smartest thing you could have done?

Untouched, a stone moved forward, and animatedly decapitated Valdar's Cha peice.

 

Valdar's frown cast deep furrows on his forehead, though inwardly exulting. All he had to do now was to close the trap and. . .

BING BONG

 

Valdar felt a sense of dread cloud his mind as an angel of the god he was playing with approached with a communication crystal.

 

"Hello?" He asked tentativeley.

 

"Hi Valdar... ready to make some more geld?"

The visage of a small green creature appeared in the crystal ball, and sheer terror gripped Valdar's heart as several hard-supressed memories bubbled to the surface.

 

A number of half-healed scars began to ache.

 

"Wyvren, im currently playing Sha with Dorsa, god of the Terlixion, who wants to destroy Hal'fa, which is inhabited with many, many intelligent life forms to build a supernexus to another one of his planes to make gold transportation easier. The fate of Hal'fa is hanging on this game, and he agreed that if he lost, he will find an alternative route."

Valdar's voice took on a firm edge.

 

"Now, if you think your petty little get-rich scheme is more important than- "

Get rich scheme? The god rumbled, suddenly interested.

 

Apparently hearing the question, Wyvren's face took on an animated look, and turned to face the god.

"Well, yes, you see. . ." Wyvren began.

 

Valdar's heart sank as a spark of interest lit up Dorsa's face.

[Wyvern]

"...I need a diversion of some sort, something that will distract the executives of Scry corporations while I steal the famous potion right from under their noses."

 

"Hmmmm..." The God Dora considers this for a moment.

 

"Once I have the potion in my possesion, I'll be able to sell it for a ridiculously high price on the black market! I'll... errr... WE'll be rich I tell you! Rich!!!"

 

Much to the horror of Valdar, Dora grins at this thought and chimes "Very well... I shall create your diversion. I will make the impossible occur, which has a tendency to distract mortals. However, due to certain guidelines I must abide by, I can only make the impossible happen for a total of seven minutes and 23 seconds. After that time has elapsed, everything will go back to normal as it was before. Hopefully, in this allotted time frame, you'll be able to snatch the potion and flee..."

 

"Leave it to me!!!" shouts Wyvern gleefully, tuning out of the crystal ball and heading to claim his prize. As Dora begins concerntrating and distorting reality, Valdar whispers "You know, Dora... I wouldn't really put my faith in that lizard, if I were you..."

 

The executives of Scry industries and president Iam Greedy continue their discussion as the impossible begins to occur. Iam Greedy gets hair on his head, president Bush becomes smart, and MARI doesn't go bankrupt... In the midst of the conversation, Wyvern barges into the office and snatches Scry #990, exclaiming "It's mine!!!" before turning to leave. Unfortunatly, the impossible things occuring are far to subtle to be noticed by the crowd of executives, and the diversion fails. The exit of the room is blocked by several members of the Scry developemental community.

 

"Stop right there lizard!!!"

 

"Give us back that potion, thief!"

 

"Hey... since when does president Iam Greedy have hair?"

 

"Give that potion back, or we'll take it by force!!!"

 

"Never!" cries Wyvern, grasping it with all his might "It's mine, I tell you! MINE!!!"

 

An angry executive charges at Wyvern and goes for the potion. Through the struggling and Wyvern's tight grasp on the bottle, the cap of the potion comes undone and a small portion of the liquid boy magnet is spilled on the overgrown lizard. The executive eventually manages to prevail and takes the potion from Wyvern, immediatly sealing the cap back on it. Wyv slowly backs up against the back wall of the room, laughing nervously and waving his hands in front of himself defensively.

 

"You miserable excuse for a lizard janitor!" screams an exec approaching Wyvern "Why I'm going to..."

 

As the effects of the potion kick in on Wyvern, the angry glares in the eyes of the executives are suddenly transformed into rather disturbing glances of attraction.

 

"I'm going to love you up till you can be loved no more!" finishes the exec, blowing a kiss to Wyvern and flirting seductively.

 

"WHAAAAAT?!" cries a terrified Wyvern, backing up even more against the wall and suddenly realizing what had triggered this sudden change of impulses. "Oh no... Oh my GOD..."

 

The fat and bloated president Iam Greedy suddenly jumps up on the office table and begins stripping and belly dancing, purring "I'm all yours, you sexy, sexy creature..."

 

Wyvern screams in sheer terror.

[Falcon2001]

Stretching luxuriously, Elric rose from his bed inside his rather small shack in one of the trees outside the Pen Keep and stood; a cracking sound arose and suddenly he was thigh-deep up to wood with one leg and it was dangling through the new hole in the floor. Cursing himself for buying that cheap lumber Elric pulled himself up until he was clear of the hole, then slowly crawled over to the more recently installed flooring and stood up cautiously.

When he didn't fall to the ground below, he sighed relievedly and began to sing a woodsong to regrow the splintered hole in the bottom of his newly aquired residence. As the deep tones of the song penetrated the wood, it slowly started turning from a dark purplish color to a healthy light green, and grew back together. A few minutes later, one could not have told that the incident had happened aside from the torn pants that Elric was quickly changing out of.

After changing into the darker wood tones he normally chose, Elric opened his front door and stepped out...onto thin air.

He let out a sort of half strangled yelp as he was flung by gravity to the ground, which half-absorbed him, being swampy. He sat there for a minute, mentally checking that this was NOT a bad dream, and then rolled over onto his back calmly, placidly wiped the mud away from his mouth, and started to quite uncalmly scream insults, threats and curses at the sky until his anger had been half-way appeased.

Standing up, he cast a heating spell on himself, heating his clothes until the wet was dried and most of the mud flaked off.

Now dry but a little dusty, he glared around for something to vent his rage on. Seeing a large toad nearby, he reasoned that the toad must have moved his tree and focused his mind on it. After staring at the frog for a few seconds, he opened his mouth and emitted an ominous minor E.

The frog, it's natural frequency matched exactly, popped like a hotdog left in the oven too long, splattering his insides all over the rock.

Smiling grimly, Elric looked around for something else, and spotted a door.

"Scry Industries? Aye, I'd say that they deserve some shattering too!"

Opening his mouth again, he let out the shriek of the banshee. The door exploded inward, allowing the now thouroughly warmed up demi-myth to walk through the opening and further into Scry Industries...

[The Big Pointy One]

All was fine, the girls were giggling, and everyone was having a good time when all of the sudden the window crashed open and in sprang two small figures. They might had been identifyable, had they not been completely covered in mud. They started yelling, as if they were some sort of monsters, in a lame attempt to scare the girls.

 

"Roaaaarrr!" said the one on the right, who happenned to be carrying a Not-so-BigPointyStick.

 

"Yeah, roar!" said the one of the left who waved his wooden sword in the air menacingly.

 

The pair showed toothy grins through the mood and advanced on their 'prey', muddy hands outstretched...

[Guest Fire Walker]

OOC: You gotta start somewheres, and this thread is hillariously funny!!!

 

IC: All of the male executives were starting to come towards Wyvern at a dangerous pace, one in particular.

 

Vice President of Scry, Dick Humpfrey, was even throwing beads to Wyvern.

 

"Woohoo, lift up your shirt!!!"

 

"Umm... No."

 

"C'mon you sexy hunk of lizard, you!! Just for a little bit??"

 

"Lemme think about... NO!!!"

 

By this time the excutives had come within touching range of Wyvern, and were all trying to grab him.

 

By now, Wyvern was cornered up against... well, a corner. His only possible way of escape was to jump out of the nearby window which was conveniently open.

 

***Important***

I myself am not homosexual, but apperently this character is.

Or it could be the potion...