Guest crowgirl1126 Posted January 8, 2003 Report Posted January 8, 2003 Beneath the fallen snow Lies a grassy plain Where once I buried hidden treasure And splashed in mud puddles after rain Just like my past I covered up the mess To pretend I knew nothing And trick myself to be misunderstood Behind my wall I tremble in the shame For I know I could have changed And made more of who I am now Still I will persist To watch the falling snow And see new children play Fom behind my glass window (Not about me)
Justin Silverblade Posted January 9, 2003 Report Posted January 9, 2003 Wow.... Crowgirl, I'm no expert, indeed far from it when it comes to poetry. But what I love to read is real emotion in words, and a certain strength in meaning. This poem certainly meets the "two thumbs up" criteria. I really liked this, thanks for sharing. - Justin
Gwaihir Posted January 9, 2003 Report Posted January 9, 2003 I'm really interested in the rhythm of this poem. I feel like the music is perfect, but a couple of the last lines of stanzas have a slightly off feel. Ignore me, but if you said after the rain instead of after rain I feel liek the rhythm of the poem would be smoother. Regardless I think the meaning is beautiful like the poem.
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