Can't let go

[Nyyark]

A melancholy moon was supposed to set

When the night died with the sunrise,

But though the hurtful age is past,

A darkness still clings to the eyes.

 

The wind still whispers discordant strains

Of winters icy tune,

And even now in the time of spring

The flowers refuse to bloom.

 

Its no use to see starshine

In a blue sky full of day.

It has no beauty without darkness

Yet the longing won't away.

 

To be bound like a slave to a sacrificial alter,

Tied to the blood rite of beauty,

Is once justified, hard to forsake,

For in division is lost identity.

 

The hidden trapping of the optimist

Is the addiction to torment and pain,

And when the hopeful become masochists,

What's right can't help but be slain.

 

A soldier who can not take up a plow in peace,

Is one who is far from human.

Thus it is the duty of those who learn pain,

To learn as well: Love.

[Guest Rune]

I really like the 5th verse/paragraph (Pardon my infamiliary with the structure of poetry, I am sure its not called a verse). I had to reread it a few times to understand it but the interesting thing is that each time I reread it something new visually came to mind. I, for one, like complexity at times in poems. It makes them mysterious and intriguing and allows more freedom for people to inturpret them as they see fit. Thank you for sharing, and for listening to me babble.

[reverie]

except for the 'moon st?' thing (typo maybe?) am quite impressed... ya just keep getting better and better... be interesting to see what the years will do for your voice... good stuff...

 

rev...

[Nyyark]

Thanks, fixed it, st = set, lol.

 

Thank you very much for noting improvement! I normally don't think about it, but if I'm much better now I should keep going so I can be even better. thanks for the inspiration.

[Guest Carlyan the Wise]

Excellent work! I much liked the rhyme scheme in the first few stanzas, and I was quite impressed with the picture created by the entire poem, as well as the last stanza. A good message, well executed. Powerful, wonderful work, Nyark. Well done!

[Wyvern]

I'll add my compliments to what the others have said... This is definitely an excellent piece of work, Nyyark, and is one of the best poems I've read recently. I especially liked your uses of intriguing imagery and the powerfull underlying message, which in my opinion is stated in the last two lines of the poem. While I think the poem is superb as it is, I think it could be made even better if the first line of the fourth stanza and the last line of the poem were made to work better with the rhythm, which is otherwise flawless.

 

Once again, great work! I agree with Reverie that your writing is very much improving, keep it up!

[Guest crowgirl1126]

I like the change of the last paragraph. (I climb walls)