Stained Glass Windows

[Peredhil]

Once again a leaden heart -

If I didn't resist reality so much, you couldn't lie to me so easily.

The purity of crystal outlook on life,

shattered stained shards, tainted points of view

like food coloring in water, affecting

my outlooks

and relationships

with all others with whom I come in contact.

Pain pulsating with every breath, each heartbeat

a liquid fire that can be tasted in the blood

a gnawing rat of belly pain

emotion made physical by some alchemical transformation.

But I am a Poet, a Word-Smith

(not a choice but a burden).

Given leaden heart, firey emotions,

stained and jagged glass called life,

I haven't a choice but to create

Stained Glass Windows into my soul.

 

What pictures will I make for others to see?

 

Stained Glass Windows into my soul

Are dull and dead to exterior view

Without an interior light.

 

Pour out the dampening pain

Don't hold it within to quench the fire.

Have the courage to display vulnerability,

Don't draw curtains over

Stained Glass Windows into the soul.

 

 

 

We do not write because we want to; we write because we have to.

W. Somerset Maugham

[Guest andrea hawk]

Wow... yet another wonderful poem added to the collection here at the Pen. Way to go. I am very envious at your talent. Good stuff. But you already knew that right? I like your works.

 

Andrea

[Peredhil]

Thank you for the feedback.

 

Actually, I didn't know that. I'm just as bad as anyone else here - I think I've yet to have written something I thought was worth posting, and it is always with a hidden fear that I click "add topic".

 

I just know that I write because I must. Cut me and I bleed words.

 

R.A. Salvatore said in an interview that his advice for young writers was to quit. If they can, they shouldn't write. I don't know that I'd go that far, but I understand what he means...

 

For instance - I can't believe I'm allowed to post at the same sight as a Yui Temae, or a Zool, or an Orlan, or Tzimfemme, or Wyvern, or Andrea Hawk...

 

Every voice here constantly blows me away as I read what you've written. It's a true honor to be part of this thing we call the Mighty Pen.

 

 

 

We do not write because we want to; we write because we have to.

W. Somerset Maugham

[Guest Carlyan the Wise]

It's strange, but my mother used to make actual stained glass windows. She was really good at it, but she gave it up because no one would buy them. She still has most of her stained glass, and she could probably tell you what price she bought all of it at, because it was an investment, you see... the glass itself was bought, as well as the rest of the materials (I don't remember what she used), and then she would make it into something that (hopefully) she could sell for more, combining different colors and elements into one big final picture-- like a story. That was a good representation, Peredhil-- well done.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

To your reply, Peredhil, I had to rant a little bit (in a good way, don't worry.)

 

I cannot fathom for a secondhow doubt your writing-- your years of experience, your long writing "career", your obvious talent-- but, then, I'm also informed that I'm good, and I always, always doubt myself. I wasn't even going to apply to the pen until being persuaded by one elder (who will remain nameless ). I appreciate everyone's critique and/or praise for my work, but somehow I still doubt myself every time I want to post something. I feel the exact way you do, in short, including the part about the works of others.

 

This place is hallowed, in my opinion-- I'm afraid that I'm tarnishing it's polished shine as a literary achievement at this moment-- and it's oldest and most respected members, as well as some of the newer additions deserve everyone's applause. I admire so many of the other writers here for reasons too many to count, let alone explain.

 

There's another aspect of the pen: the feeling of comraderie (I know I probably butchered the spelling of that word, and I'm sorry to those who are reading this) that hangs around these posts. Your very work in this poem as well as the one entitled "Shall I post" (or something to that effect, I believe) denotates the feeling of every new member when they begin to work here, when they're just getting their feet wet in the ocean of possibilities that is writing. The fact that you have experienced that as well is, well... suffice it to say, heartening.

 

I am honored to be in this place, and if I am accepted, I can guarantee that not only will I be happy to be a member, but that I will attempt to give something back to the other writers-- for without eachother, the people of this institution (we'll call it that) would be far, far from where we are. It is the comments, the little notes, and things like that that make me want to be a part of this place, and I'm glad that one particular elder decided to take it upon himself to convince me to join. (He knew that I would before he began, I might note, and he was a good judge of character, if you ask me... the point was well proven, and I thank said elder for coercing me into seeing that I should apply here).

 

I thank everyone in this literary metropolis for their consideration in responding to my works, but above all else, simply being here. I've seen and heard of people being helped so much by others that they've never even seen the face of before-- that in itself is worthy of praise.

 

I'm sorry... this might've been a bit rambling, and it doesn't do an ounce of justice to the way I feel about the pen, but... there it is. I got off track a little bit on your poem, by the way, Peredhil, and for that I'm sorry... it was well written, none the less.

 

-Carlyan (the not-so-wise-as-my-name-implies).

[Guest Rune]

I think the fact that you identify your faults and choose to share those with others is what makes you so strong (in my eyes). Granted I know you a bit more than from what you write here so I can base my opinion on that as well. Your poems are astounding, the words are meaningful and heartfelt and the lack of consistant structure through each part of the poem intensifies the various feelings expressed...like you are searching for a reason to shine internally to show the world the true intensity of your heart.

 

(and after reading my comment I just typed I am not sure it made any sense..so I follow up with POEM GOOD! *giggles* )

[Guest crowgirl1126]

In personal connection, I often feel that my self concept is like stained glass, and not only is it colorful, but can be easily shattered. Made of raw materials and formed into art, it is like humans create what personality and values they have, and they themselves can allow it to be shattered.

 

But for myself, writing is NOT like my self image. While I do feel innferior in some ways to others talent, I am comforted that people actually CARE aboout expressing themselves in this haven of comraderie. Everyone is using their knowledge and understanding to give CREATIVE and CONSTRUCTIVE criticism to add to the growth of each individual. It is here where I feel I can be open with my innerself and I don;t feel so fragile like glass. Here I can pick up the broken pieces and begin to glue them back into the beautiful window I know deep in my soul I can become.

 

To address Peredhil, I could praise you on your talent, but I'd rather say that I most appreciate how you share your values in your comments to others or your writing and even in having fun with other members. I think you and Wyyvern are the two who give the Pen and environment where people are even more comfortable in opening up. So thank you for sharing yourself with others. And to all here, and all to come,thank you for sharing yourselves with each other, it gives me hope for this lifetime.

 

Sincerely Crowgirl

[Cyril Darkcloud]

The self, it seems,

is a fragile

and fragmented thing

cobbled together

from shards and scraps

of meanings

both perceived

and imposed.

 

In speaking of it,

by turns we define,

create, stretch

and limit it

according to

the narrow grasp of words.

 

In sharing it

we expose it

to buttressing

or shattering

by stony shards

of meaning

held in other hands.

 

A very well-conceived and well executed piece, Peredhill. Your development of the metaphor of the stained glass window is both creative and provocative. You also do a fine job of conveying the visceral passion of the poet who needs to speak. Being able to do both in a single piece of writing is no small thing.

 

A thoroughly enjoyable and stimulating read!

[Peredhil]

Neato poetic response!

 

such great comments by everyone - but I've always had a fondness for a poetic response to a poem - when done well.

 

well done!