Peredhil Posted December 19, 2002 Report Posted December 19, 2002 Peredhil shows his rare not-so-Polite side for a change. Originally posted at the Legion of the White Rose. Sugar plums and Yule-tide bell, Hope you're enjoying this time of year... *open card* when you die you're going to Hell An eternity of suffering and fear. Enjoy your meaningless existence while you can, Mortal that you are That child from whom your eyes averted When you hit the red light in your car Will die tonight of cold and exposure So enjoy your presents - you have right As you complain about not receiving closure The outcasts look at you with spite. Seasons Greetings from Hellmark! Cards from Hell. ~~~ On this day of lowering cloud With red-cheeked children laughing out loud playing in snow and puffing mist *open card* a sociopath is watching, pissed Little Johnny's time is wearing thin Cause the neighbor really wanted to sleep in... Season's Greetings from Hellmark! Cards from Hell. ~~~ When Santa down your chimney falls To deliver the year's reapings That you've sown with actions ripe Into your house he's creeping *open card* He's not fooled by cookies and milk It won't influence him a bit That's not coal he's shovelling in your sock He's filling it with - Season's Greetings from Hellmark! Cards from Hell. ~~~ Shovelling snow and sledding fun Kids love this time of year *open card* Driving on icy slushy road Shove your Seasonal cheer. Seasons Greetings from Hellmark! Cards from Hell ~~~ Snowflakes, snow angels, snowmen fun When cold, cocoa and cider inside - *open card* Armed gangs, crack whores, pimps with guns Season's Greetings from the other side. Seasons Greetings from Hellmark! Cards from Hell ~~~ "Chestnuts Roasting on an open fire" Is the favorite Seasonal tune *open card* Of Cannibals roasting missionaries They'll be spiced and ready soon. Season's Greetings from Hellmark. Cards from Hell.
Gyrfalcon Posted December 19, 2002 Report Posted December 19, 2002 Hm... not a fan of the Christmas season, Peredhil? They're slightly funny, but... yeah, they're attacking my idea of 'Christmas is a happy time'.
Canid Posted December 19, 2002 Report Posted December 19, 2002 "I prefer mine raw..." Canid thinks out loud upon reading the last line. She noticed Gyrfalcon fixing a repulsed gaze on her. Canid twitches her ears. "What?"
SoaringIcarus Posted December 20, 2002 Report Posted December 20, 2002 Finally I have discovered who is the root of these clever ideas that get marketed in a heartbeat. *hand-cuffs peredhil and two men escourt him into the back of a car* I'm afraid there's not enough room for you AND yule-tide joy, this season. *shouts to the men in the car:* "Give him 12 shots of 'nog, and the Rudolph apparel! That oughta clean him up." *mutters to himself about the twisted ancients these days as he straightens his blue Santa costume, and makes his way for the forrest*
reverie Posted December 20, 2002 Report Posted December 20, 2002 um, didn't know ya had it in ya... am shocked... rev...
Guest Tamaranis Posted December 24, 2002 Report Posted December 24, 2002 Sort of a "Don't quit paying attention to reality just because its christmas"?
Peredhil Posted December 25, 2002 Author Report Posted December 25, 2002 Sorry if they were offensive or spoiling. They were meant to be parodies of the extremely cheesy and commercial Hallmark Greeting Card series, combined with a bit of a cranky mood. I was chatting with Gwaihir, who appreciates satire with a keen and ready wit, and tosses off a Hellmark Greeting. She said, "You should post that..." And here we are. I suppose the heavy commercialism offends me. That the original birthday was prolly in early September, around 4-6 BC, or that Christians are to keep Jesus in the top of their minds everyday, no longer observing days or seasons for a 'push' effort sours me more when cranky. This year, we're just having Birthday Cake on this day, and exchanging gifts later in January. My wife gave our Christmas money to a needy couple. I'm rather pleased that my boys are cool with that. Shows a good attitude and understanding on their part. Happy Birthday to Jesus, and Merry Christmas wishes to the rest of you. -P We do not write because we want to; we write because we have to. W. Somerset Maugham
Gyrfalcon Posted December 25, 2002 Report Posted December 25, 2002 Nah, they weren't- just a bit against the rose-colored spirit of the holiday. *grins* Maybe why I didn't find them more humorous is that I don't look at Hallmark cards very often, and thus I didn't realize that they were extremely cheesy and commercial. *nods* That was good of your family, Peredhil. Anyway, I hope your temper has improved, and that you enjoy the day. Merry Christmas.
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