Cyril Darkcloud Posted December 9, 2002 Report Posted December 9, 2002 Disorientation Falling forward. Falling under. Falling inward. Empty air. Steps uncertain and unsteady. Fingers grasping. Empty air. Eyes unfocused. Silence echos. Ground receding. Empty air. Breathing rapid. Heartbeats stumble. Lips are speaking. Empty air. Falling. Falling. Simply falling. Falling. Falling. Empty air.
SoaringIcarus Posted December 11, 2002 Report Posted December 11, 2002 Are you musical, Mr. Darkcloud? Your poem certainly has it's own rhythmic pizazz to it. A lot is implied with "empty". I'm not sure what else to say about this other than the fact that I like it! It would be easy to mutter under one's breath as they marched confidently to an important destination. Call me weird. Call me Icarus. -Icarus
Cyril Darkcloud Posted December 14, 2002 Author Report Posted December 14, 2002 I've never thought of myself as particularly musical, Icarus. However, I do enjoy playing with rhythmic combinations of syllables. Just about all of my verse is composed more for being spoken out loud than read silently. BTW - Were you looking over my shoulder? I did in fact find myself muttering it under my breath the other day while heading out to a fairly important meeting *LOL* - Cyril
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