Somewhat stuck and unfinished...

[Guest Tyrunn Alberyn]

but here it is anyway (sorry for the use of 'non-dictionary' english, but it's supposed to be a text for a song I'm working on, so it has to stay within the rythm):

 

Lost in my dreams of her,

she is so beautiful,

she is so wonderful,

I keep dreaming of her.

 

She's gonna speak to me,

she wants to know my past,

to find out who I truly am.

 

She sometimes speaks of we,

she says I hold the key,

to bring us into unity.

 

Lost in my dreams of her,

she is so beautiful,

she is so wonderful,

I keep dreaming of her.

 

I fear she's way too good,

I think she's way too cool,

to stick around a guy like me.

 

I hope that she is true,

I wouldn't know how to,

cope with it if she'd let me go.

 

Lost in my dreams of her,

she is so beautiful,

she is so wonderful,

I keep dreaming of her.

 

---

 

Feedback is very welcome.... (Negative just as much as positive )

[Guest SaberCoEP]

Not bad at all.. Not much negative I can say about it..

 

Really looks like it's going to be a great song.. Can't wait to hear it when it's finished..

 

Good luck.

 

 

For the end is never seen, always heard and rarely understood.

[reverie]

dream away... where you struck? looks good to me too... you having problems resolving music and rythems in you head with words put to page??? could try to lose yourself in you words by singing them as best you can, over and over and over again, throwing in improves and what not.... oh yeah, should maybe try tape recording yourself too... think could help maybe... okay that my 2 cents...

 

or could maybe change up a line or two of the she's... from begin of sentence to middle like... "sometimes she speaks of we" instead... but then again i can't here you rythem am just really throwing darts in the dark... okay...

 

 

revery

the dreamlost

"turn, turn, turn"(birds, animals, dillon?)

the dream continues...

 

Which Colossal Death Robot Are You?Edited by: reverie  at: 10/8/02 12:19:00 pm