Falcon2001 Posted October 2, 2002 Report Posted October 2, 2002 All my friends that used to be It's too late now, you can't touch me I'm the one and only William Jones And nothing you can do'll chill my bones Despair's a girl with wicked eyes A tempting body and lucious lies She was my lover for so, so long But her smile was empty and totally wrong Hate's a man with little hair And to replace what he lost there He grew the horns of a mighty bull But now he's been stuck in a lull Depression's a girl with a saddened grin Designed to keep out and not let in She held me close, so close it's true But eventually my time was due Fear's a man of miniscule size Darting like a cornered rat, his eyes Reveal his weakness - Everything! And yet he still thinks he's the king Procastination's ragged and torn His clothes are ripped and his shoes are worn He told me he'd do it tomorrow today And tomorrow he'll say it again, I'm 'fraid These are the friends that I held dear Thoughout my long and troubled years They were my air, my bread, my wine And nothing better to pass the time Than to listen to their whispered words Which quickly pecked away like birds Upon my self-esteem and soul Leaving 'nought but an empty hole So goodbye friends, I fare thee well And hope to never 'gain see hell The hell created by none but me In an attempt to better be. Cioden Darkeye Quill-Bearer - The Pen is Mightier than the Sword Owner of the Reply Raven - Enemy to all those who never post responses "Oh my God, I'm LEAKING POETRY!"
Gyrfalcon Posted October 2, 2002 Report Posted October 2, 2002 Whoo... What can I say? Excellent stuff, Falcon. *applauds*
Guest Lord Seth Exodus Posted October 2, 2002 Report Posted October 2, 2002 Fantastic! Really very good, Falcon. I like how you gave a sex to each of the apparitions; all seeming to fit appropriatly. The discription used, and thought provoked here is astounding; I love it. The last stanza is particularly well done, and by far one of my favorite parts; along with the discriptions of despair and fear. Well done, my friend, well done. Yours, Lord Seth Exodus Initiate of The Pen
The Portrait of Zool Posted October 2, 2002 Report Posted October 2, 2002 Excellent! Well seen with a Poet's eye. ~Zool~ King of Nothing, Lord of Nobody, but thoroughly in charge of how I feel about that.
Peredhil Posted October 2, 2002 Report Posted October 2, 2002 wow. I think this is the best I've read from you in a while. Nice meter - reads well outloud. The kind of poem I'd show to my Mom, saying, "This is the type of thing they write at that website to which I belong." -Peredhil
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