Requiem of a time (OO! and, new sig!!)

[HopperWolf]

Accept, thou shrine to our lost touch,

Instead of tears take this charge;

And Past’s path be strewn with sweet rhyme,

Take from me these sorrow filled lines,

From thy wanting serf, that thou must

In your passing, tumble firm trust.

 

Sweet Heart, since thy ill desired leave,

It hath been for me to believe,

While I roam the halls of my mind,

The echoes of steps left behind,

That thee solely provide in me

A star to follow and set free

My soul, cast within corridors

That seem to the eye as before.

Yet, in thy absence the light grows

Dim. And suffocates in thy woes,

Losing my sight and direction,

Stumbling blindly for perfection,

When I cannot know the limits

Of halls, these the darkness remits.

 

Time contorts preposterously,

Past, Present, Future: all I see,

While I cease to live life by day,

Merely watch my clock drain away

Still the Sun tells of happiness,

Of days gone by are surely missed.

And yet the moon brings gladly news,

Of passing time I would end soon

As I pray for Past and Future

To meet; thy bond, lost Touch, is sure.

And ‘twixt us and our soul’s wish

An ocean interposéd is:

Exile in mind to taunt and warp

A truth that’s felt in our own core

For crimes not committed in our

Innocent need. A justice soured

By humanity’s epithet,

That would challenge what hath been set.

 

Thus, in that world I light our way,

The same star bright I bid to stay,

By which I steer our sail's wind,

And compass set to gladly send.

Nor labour I to stem the tide,

Through which to thee I swiftly glide.

 

’Tis true with pride and joy I bend,

The mind and heart in which to mend

Thy sorrowed tears, for missing time.

So I say; I am yours, you are mine,

And so shall we remain in truth,

As time doth bend, we do bend too.

 

The thought of this bids me go on,

And await with you reunion,

With Hope and comfort. Love, forgive

The pain. I am content to live

Divided with but half a heart,

‘Til we shall meet and never part.

 

This poem as inspired by, and is a semi-parody of "The Exequy" by Henry King, which is a looong time favourite of mine

Edited by: HopperWolf at: 9/23/02 4:59:46 pm

[Guest AerisAlOzarai]

I never read the Exequy before, but that poem is sweet

 

*goes to read it again*

[HopperWolf]

and a nice one at that. rereads are compliments in themselves

 

thank you

[SoaringIcarus]

Like the title, but then I've always fancied the ethereal :-)

 

I have read this poem from the perspective of one who has not known the joys of "The Exequy". It is now on my list.

 

First stanza, a good setup. Eloquence AND rhyme scheme. What more could one ask for! Is this passing a passing in life, or in the relationship? “The halls of my mind” Wonderful imagery. “That thee slowly provide in me”? I don’t claim to be too crafty with my Olde Englishe grammar, but the usage of ‘thee’ feels a bit awkward. “That seem to the eye as before” What was it like before? I feel left out of that idea. Why is ‘Dim’ on a new line? (perhaps part of the parody of The Exequy?) “Stumbling blindly for perfection.” (Restrains himself from plagiarizing these phrases elsewhere.) All too familiar my friend. I’m really with you in that line. By the way, I’ve read this poem, and gone back and recited it, I like the metre. “Time contorts…lost touch, is sure” I do like this part of the stanza, especially the beginning, however I feel there could be more. The participles seem slightly bland, and it seems as if you didn’t enjoy writing this part as much, no? I do extricate a sense of waiting, which is appropriate, however something feels off. I can’t quite describe it myself. (Mindless banter, forgive me… just writing my thoughts.) Good ending to that stanza. “…to thee I swifly glide” Yes. Bending with time, Yes. Why is ‘the pain’ on another line? Less confusing though, as I could take meaning from that decision, however it feels ambiguous. Slight parallel structure, but not enough for my own taste. Nice quote at the end. As a curious reader, was everything in the poem before that your own words? Was it the only quote in the poem, or were other segments quoted? I’m sure I have no right responding to this, as I remain half in the dark, having not read The Exequy! Despite that, enjoyable. Nice sig.

 

-Icarus