Guest Psimon2001 Posted September 17, 2002 Report Posted September 17, 2002 Another early work... (cleaning out the closet LOL ) Broken sword and shattered shield ************************** Blades glistening red Horses quivering beneath Thundering charge Bloodshed upon the heath Clash of steel on steel Muscles straining taut Flesh rent from knowing bones Face to face with death Battle continues Day into night, night on to day Time, stretched As a spider's thread Groans of the dead and dying Echo across the field Bodies littered amongst flowers Broken sword and shattered shield
Peredhil Posted October 23, 2003 Report Posted October 23, 2003 Has an almost Nordic feel to it, but I think you might work on the meter. When I say it aloud, I just can't fall into a good beat, if you know what I mean. On the other hand, good usage of figures of speech to portray the scene.
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