Gwaihir Posted September 10, 2002 Report Posted September 10, 2002 “Yes, I know you’re sick of this line, baby, But see how close we’ve gotten to the front? Everybody splits up into two groups. All the little children get to go left. You’ll like being with the other children. Honey, I’d love to stay with you. I can’t. Mommy and the other grownups go right. We will get to go and do lots of work. No, I don’t know when they’ll let us go home. Do you remember when they made us move? We gave away our home and factory. You were so mad that we gave them away To the soldiers with the big clunking boots. Well now, you’ll never have to move again! After today, men who do things like that, I swear they’ll never bother you again. I’m crying ‘cause it’s all so exciting. Oh my dear son! Love you so much baby! Please give me one last hug before you go.” ---------- I want to be page 93 of Pineapples, the Avian Crows-NyyarkEdited by: gwaihir1 at: 9/14/02 2:09:57 pm
Gyrfalcon Posted September 11, 2002 Report Posted September 11, 2002 I had to read Maus, and I remember that part of the story well. *bows his head in silence* (excellent poetry...)
Guest Psimon2001 Posted September 12, 2002 Report Posted September 12, 2002 A beautiful piece. Perhaps it didn't need the direct reference to the Nazi's, as the imagery in the mother's monologue set the scene so well. Perhaps just "To the men with the big, clunking boots." ?? A reader would have to be very ignorant not to associate. (IMHO) I was moved very much by it. Perhaps because I'm a parent myself, perhaps because I have studied history, or perhaps simply because I am a human being with some sense of right and wrong and how those concepts were so tragically twisted in those terrible days. Whatever the cause, I wept. A piece that stirs the reader is, to my mind anyway, one deserving high praise.
Guest JamilNayamun Posted September 14, 2002 Report Posted September 14, 2002 I agree with Psimon, I think it could do without the direct reference to the Nazis. The piece itself does indeed set the scene regardless, but the word association brings a brutality and bluntness to the piece that I think was carefully avoided elsswhere. In fact, I like the way that works, the piece seems soft and protective, which highlites the tragedy taking place. Very moving piece.
HopperWolf Posted September 14, 2002 Report Posted September 14, 2002 hehe, sorry, that's me (Jamil) - forgot to log in as HW. so's not to waste this post... again, much high praise from me
Gwaihir Posted September 14, 2002 Author Report Posted September 14, 2002 the line actually originally said soldiers there, but I replaced it with Nazis on advice from someone. I've put it back the way it was. Thanks both! ---------- the question is always the same with a dragon: Will he talk to you or will he eat you. If you can be sure of his doing the former and not the latter why then you're a dragon lord"- Ursula le Guin
The Portrait of Zool Posted September 14, 2002 Report Posted September 14, 2002 I suppose it comes down to knowledge of the passage to set the context. I must be unedimicated, for I do not recognize the passage, nor without the reference to the 'Nazis' would I have any idea what it referred to at all. Great for every member of the audience who has read the source material and recognizes it, I suppose. In any case (once I know what it's about) great work.
HopperWolf Posted October 2, 2002 Report Posted October 2, 2002 It's not just those ho have read the particular text. The tales of the Nazi camps are still widely heard throughout the western worl at least, and the lines that were formed when entering are notorious. It is a reference to something that I think most people ill recognised as it has been rehashed in our memories over and over through all media. These memories are actually a part of our culture, even if we hadn't expreienced them ourselves. Look how people wanted to avoid similar experiences in modern warfare.
Guest SaberCoEP Posted October 4, 2002 Report Posted October 4, 2002 A well written poem. Very touching to anyone, whether you want to admit it or not. The Nazi's reference, I don't think I see.. unless it has been removed.. Although while reading it, it was the first thing that came to mind. Such a tragic scene, and yet somehow, relaxing.. Perhaps the image of the mother's love being able to penetrate even through the darkened skies of war allows this to be heartwarming.. But, what do I know? I'm just another guy with nothing important to say. For the end is never seen, always heard and rarely understood.
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