Faith Found...

[Guest Lord Seth Exodus]

Faith Found

 

What a world in which we dwell-

Twice from heaven, once from hell.

Where in this world hast good made haste?

To leave us in a stagnant waste.

 

We live among death and vice,

And all good things seem to sin entice.

Be there balm for my pain?

Be there faith in which I gain?

 

Indeed, there be, for I have found

A greater faith, on higher ground.

And now, oh God, thou hold mine life,

And keep me from all sin and strife.

 

I’ll take Thy path, so seldom trod,

For Thou protects with staff and rod.

Thou bless me, Lord, eternally;

I pray that I may accept deservingly.

 

~~~~~~~

 

It's good to be back!!!

 

Yours truly,

Lord Seth Exodus

Initiate of The Pen

[Gwaihir]

I really like this.

 

If I may give some advice though, I'm not sure that the rhymes are helping you. A few of the lines have their word order a bit too twisted.

----------

I want to be page 93 of Pineapples, the Avian Crows-Nyyark

[reverie]

i like it too... harkens back to the age's past when sage's and poet's sought inspiration of a divine sort... I like, how you answer one stanza with another... ryhmes seem fine to me, but then again i'm a slave to rhyme and assonance, so i prolly bias... good job...

 

 

revery

the dreamlost

"here you go..."(noddle)

the dream continues...

Which Colossal Death Robot Are You?

[Guest Xradion]

        I agree with what's been said. However, with regard to rhyme scheme, I also think it would be interesting to see how the poem would read if you re-ordered the lines so that the third second line of every stanza were reversed in order to create and ABAB rhyme scheme. I don't think that it would change the meaning of the poem much (if at all) and this rhyme scheme appeals slightly more to me. Anyway, it's totally a matter of personal preference. It's just that I've been trying to analyze word order and structure in poems recently, and that's what occurs to me off the top of my head. At any rate, nice job. I enjoyed reading this.

 

 

 

Xradion,

The Horny Druid,

Scholar of the Ancient Arts,

Holder of the Eye of Odin.

 

"The only emperor is the emperor of ice-cream."

-Wallace Stevens

 

"When at home, do as the Homans do." –Xradion

[HopperWolf]

I have to say, tis a good poem! If you can manage to find my poem "Eternity" on here a couple pages back I took a different approach, almost the opposite. Many reasons for faith

 

I like the rhyme scheme myself, as was said, harks back to oler day of the metephysical poets, who were also slaves to rhyme and assonence But, language is, and always has been, flexible in my opinion. When it comes to poetry at least. I enjoy playing with it

 

Good poem