Christmas Corpse Tree

[Guest Minta Rose]

An IRC log of oddity.

 

* Signe wonders if she's pinging out of if everyone died

(Gyrfalcon) They died.

* Signe nods

* Signe plans a burial

* Gyrfalcon just props them up in the corners... good enough!

* Signe decorates them with lights and tinsel

* Gyrfalcon cheers

(Gyrfalcon) more Christmas Corpses!

*** Signe changes topic to 'Have you decorated YOUR Christmas Corpse yet?'

(Tyrion) I want a Christmas Corpse!

*** Rydia is now known as MintaRose

(MintaRose) YAY!

* MintaRose runs around happily

(MintaRose) corpsies!

(Tyrion) ...

* MintaRose piles them together so their feet stick out kinda like branches

(Tyrion) yes....

(Tyrion) ...of course

* MintaRose hangs ornaments from their toes

(Tyrion) your 'tree' doesn't smell so good

* MintaRose nails stockings to their ankles an' fills them FULL of pixystix

(Tyrion) must be the feet

(MintaRose) that's ok

* MintaRose adds pinecones to mask the odors

* Gyrfalcon sprays some pine-scented airfreshener on the Corpse Tree

* Tyrion adds in some New-Corpse-Smell

*** Signe is now known as Gloria

* Gloria sticks cloves in them

*** Tyrion is now known as Martha

(Gyrfalcon) Er... Gloria? We're not baking them.

(Martha) A holiday Corpse Tree

* Gyrfalcon hopes one wasn't an idler... that has to *hurt*

(Martha) it's a good thing

*** Martha is now known as Tyrion

(MintaRose) we can if you wanna, but then they'll crisp up an' fall apart before christmas

* Gloria makes a tinsel web using the cloves as anchor points around the corpse

(Tyrion) pretty

* MintaRose climbs carefully up to the top

* MintaRose searches through her pockets. . .

(Tyrion) what next...?

* MintaRose tosses out a vial of boiling blood, a wad of pixystix wrappers, nuh-uh not this pocket. . .

* Gyrfalcon strings lights along the corpses

* Gyrfalcon barely dodges the blood

* MintaRose finds an anti-cootie gem, a souvenir finger from the mausoleum in Sigil. . .nope. ..

* Gloria catches the blood "oooh!!!"

* Gloria tucks it away for a snack

* MintaRose finds the big fluffy red quill Balladore gave her an' sticks it on top of the last corpsie for a tree topper

* Gyrfalcon hands Gloria an insulated vial holder

(Gyrfalcon) It's hot.

(Tyrion) I think I nice fallen angel would top that tree real nice

* Gloria thanks Gyr prettily

(Tyrion) I = a

* Gyrfalcon hands up Minta a Fallen Angel topper to go next to the quill... or maybe holding the quill?

* MintaRose spears the angel to the pile WITH the quill!

* MintaRose beams

(Tyrion) hahaha

* Tyrion goes to get his camera

(Tyrion) everyone say Rotting Carcass

* Tyrion takes a picture

* Gloria sticks her tongue out at the camera

(Tyrion) that's ok

* Gyrfalcon grabs the camera and puts Tyrion in his position

(Gyrfalcon) Alright, one more people.

(Tyrion) O_O

* Gyrfalcon takes aim carefully

* Tyrion plays dead

(Gyrfalcon) Gloria, mind propping up his corpse or stuffing him into the tree?

(Tyrion) wait wait I'm alive, I'm alive

(Gyrfalcon) Ah good... then stand up.

* Tyrion didn't want to be speared in any way

* Gyrfalcon takes the picture

* MintaRose scampers down the back of the corpsietree

* Gloria ties Tyr into a christmas bow

* Gyrfalcon winces

(Gyrfalcon) That had to hurt.

* Gyrfalcon puts the camera away

*** I-sick has joined #thepen

* MintaRose tunnels underneath the bodies to set up giftieboxes

*** MintaRose is now known as busyMinta

* Tyrion is a bow

* I-sick is freekede out

*** Tyrion is now known as |}o{|

(|}o{|) best I can do

* Gloria giggles and ties the bow around Orlan's neck

* I-sick is even more freeked out

* Gyrfalcon notes that Tzimfemme will be happy...

* busyMinta shakes the pile slightly trying to squeeze boxes underneath

* Gyrfalcon puts Orlan under the Christmas Corpse Tree, and attaches a 'To Tzimfemme' tag to him

* Gloria smiles with satisfaction

* |}o{| is an Orlanament

* I-sick is freeked out

(Gyrfalcon) ...? What, this is normal for around here.

* I-sick dies

* Gloria adds I-sick to the christmas corpse arrangement

* Gyrfalcon hands some ornaments off of his hands

* Gyrfalcon strings a loop of the christmas lights over his wrist

(I-sick) huh?

(I-sick) whats happening

(I-sick) i hate christmas

(|}o{|) we're making a corpsieTree

* Gloria stuffs a turkey in I-sick's mouth

(Gyrfalcon) Be quiet- you're a corpse, anyway.

(I-sick) LOgfTS OgF DgEAD SgUFF?

(|}o{|) do you have some kind of issue with you g key?

(Gyrfalcon) He has a turkey stuck in his mouth.

(Gyrfalcon) Makes it hard to speak, you know?

(I-sick) gDUgH

(Gyrfalcon) you're still a corpse, you know.

* I-sick gets the turkey out of his mouth

(busyMinta) corpsies can talk

(I-sick) but i was nevr killed

(busyMinta) i make skellie talk all the time

(I-sick) how can i be a corpse if i'm not dead?

(Gloria) you said you died

(busyMinta) did too

(Gyrfalcon) * I-sick dies

(Gyrfalcon) see? You're dead.

(I-sick) i was kidding ;p

* busyMinta rattles a box

(Gyrfalcon) We're very literal.

* Gyrfalcon pulls out his katana

(Gyrfalcon) 'Sides, I can fix that.

(busyMinta) YAY!

(Gloria) yay!

* Gyrfalcon considers things "Unless Lady Gloria would like lunch?"

* I-sick runs

(|}o{|) I think I'm starting to loosen

(Gyrfalcon) Hey!

* Gyrfalcon chases after the runaway corpse "Give back those ornaments!

(|}o{|) how about a little pull on each side?

* Gloria is hungry

* Gloria wants a nice bloodshake

(I-sick) YOU CAN'T CATCH ME!

* Gyrfalcon trips I-sick

(Gyrfalcon) Oh really?

* Gloria pounces on I-sick and debates mowing down

(|}o{|) what do you need ornaments for? I'm the ultimate ornament! The Orlanament!

(I-sick) HELP TY!

(Gyrfalcon) I've been assured there are better ways to go.

(I-sick) HELP ME!

(Gyrfalcon) er... *worse ways to go*

(|}o{|) screw you, I'm an Orlanament

. . .

(I-sick) HEY

* Gyrfalcon sicks I-sick back into the corpse-tree

* I-sick gets back up

(I-sick) arg

(Gyrfalcon) It's only until Christmas

(I-sick) just let me be!

(Gyrfalcon) No... you're a corpse.

(Gyrfalcon) And we need one to fill out the corpse-tree.

(Gyrfalcon) You're it.

(I-sick) i'm a living corpse

(I-sick) i'm lich

(Gloria) so what?

(Gloria) this is a corpsetree

(I-sick) ok, if u feed me,n i'll stand like atree

(Gloria) you are a corpse

(Gloria) stay still.

(I-sick) gotta give me good food though

(I-sick) like salamanders

(Gyrfalcon) But... you're a corpse. Corpses can't digest anything.

(I-sick) it's the taste

(I-sick) i still have taste buds

(Gyrfalcon) But hasn't your tongue rotted by now?

(I-sick) nope

(I-sick) i ust died, remember?

. . .

* Tyrion thinks of a way to make a more elaborate bow

(|}) crap

(Gyrfalcon) (|({o})|) (-perhaps?

(|}o{|) looks like a tie fighter more than a bow tie

* Gyrfalcon grins and shrugs

(Gyrfalcon) but making a bow tie look like a tie fighter- that takes work!

(|}o{|) hehe

(|}o{|) it would be easier if I could find § into my nick

(|}o{|) find = fit

* Gyrfalcon nods

. . .

* Gyrfalcon turns on the corpse tree

(Gyrfalcon) ...pretty.

* Valdar tags shinies on the corpses

* busyMinta pulls down one of the light strings to power up a present

* busyMinta scoots out from under the pile bottom-first, leaving behind two powered presents: one hums softly, one ticks, but neither are visible

(busyMinta) hi~

* Gyrfalcon looks at the pile in worry

(Gyrfalcon) ticking?

(MintaRose) I got the timer set for the day after Christmas

* MintaRose hops outta the room

Edited April 29, 2004 by Alaeha

[Guest Kasmandre]

*Kasmandre stares at this IRC log for a while*

 

I don't know whether this makes me want to find out how to get on IRC, or to stay away forever.

Edited April 29, 2004 by Alaeha

[Guest Brute3]

Snickering, Brute slaps down a long strip of yellow-brick linoleum leading to the fabled Land of IRC. As an afterthought, he adds a trail of small flasks of booze. "It would work for me," he mutters.

 

The cheap and alcohol-laden trail leads to a sign that says

 

www.mIRC.com

 

(It's a free download. Once you've got that, you can join the bizzare conversations in any of the Galaxynet servers, then enter the channel #thepen. I find that joining the channel later in the evenings (depending on where you live), produces a more active chat. )

 

Brute

 

O Drunken One

Edited April 29, 2004 by Alaeha

[The Big Pointy One]

Yah, crazy IRC chats rock. Heh. Now, to wait and see what Minta left beneath that tree... *Stick stares at his watch until it's tomorrow*

 

(I'm just racking up these pointless posts )

Edited April 29, 2004 by Alaeha

[Guest Valdar and Astralis]

[17:47] * Valdar sniffs the air

[17:47] <Brute> use a hammer!!!

[17:47] <Brute> it'll fix anything!

[17:47] * Carlyan grins... "A hammer?"

[17:47] <Brute> yup,yup!

[17:47] * Canid picks up a hammer and tries it on Brute's head

[17:47] <Brute> AAHHH!!!

[17:47] <Brute> no,no!

[17:48] * Canid laughs

[17:48] * Brute rubs the newly-formed lumps.

[17:48] <Canid> *Prospero trots in and licks Canid in greeting

[17:48] * Valdar points an ear at the corpse tree

[17:48] <Valdar> I think they're rigor'ing

[17:48] *** Canid is now known as Prospero

[17:49] <Prospero> Hey Gyrfalcon....

[17:49] <Gyrfalcon> Heya, Prospero.

[17:49] <Prospero> It's not Christmas anymore....

[17:49] * Gyrfalcon hands Prospero some goat chunks

[17:49] <Gyrfalcon> it is for me. ;P

[17:49] * Valdar sits by the christmas corpse tree and plucks the shinies out from between the toes

[17:49] <Gyrfalcon> Merry Christmas, Prospero.

[17:49] * Prospero looks meaningfully at the corpse tree.

[17:49] <Gyrfalcon> No, now we bury... er... burn them.

[17:49] <Prospero> Huh?

[17:5 <Prospero> But that's an awful waste....

[17:5 * Prospero whines

[17:5 <Gyrfalcon> Prospero, I don't want you in the habit of eating humans.

[17:5 * Valdar thinks a new-year skellie tree would be more interesting

[17:5 <Prospero> *Gyrfalcon notes the goat chunks are gone

[17:5 <Prospero> a*GYrfalcon notes that Canid is licking her muzzle happily

[17:51] <Gyrfalcon> Canid!

[17:51] * Gyrfalcon just shakes his head and gives Prospero the goat chunks that were meant for Canid

[17:51] <Prospero> That's true... human meat is pretty unplesant.

[17:51] <Prospero> But they're really stinky....

[17:51] * Gyrfalcon looks at Valdar

[17:51] * Prospero licks his muzzle anxiously

[17:52] <Gyrfalcon> you have a good point.

[17:52] * Gyrfalcon takes out a flamethrower

[17:52] * Valdar 's ears twitch

[17:52] <Gyrfalcon> Thus, we burn them.

[17:52] * Prospero yelps

[17:52] * Valdar !

[17:52] * Prospero hides behind Canid

[17:52] <Gyrfalcon> You can't eat it all, Prospero.

[17:52] <Prospero> Yes I can!

[17:52] <Valdar> we *could* refregerate them for later

[17:52] * Valdar takes out a liquid nitrogen spray

[17:52] <Valdar> see?

[17:53] * Brute stands back

[17:53] <Carlyan> If you burn it, it'll stink.

[17:53] <Prospero> No... just bury them for later... the older the smellier..the smellier the better....

[17:53] * Valdar blasts the corpse tree with liquid Nitrogen

[17:53] <Carlyan> That's all I have to contribute.

[17:53] <Gyrfalcon> Not with the windows open.

[17:53] <Gyrfalcon> And it'll clear off.

[17:53] <Gyrfalcon> On the other hand, rotting stinks worse, longer.

[17:53] <Brute> Carlyan's got a point, Gyr.

[17:53] <Valdar> (corpses become frozen, along with several idlers)

[17:53] <Prospero> I wouldn't bury them HERE

[17:54] * Prospero sniffs Carlyan

[17:54] * Carlyan sniffs Prospero.

[17:55] <Valdar> ta daaahh

[17:55] * Gyrfalcon suggests that wet wolf isn't one of the best odors in the world

[17:55] <Valdar> frozen corpse tree

[17:55] <Prospero> *Gyrfalcon notes that Canid/Prospero's goat chunks are again missing and Prospero was nowhere near them....

[17:55] <Valdar> we can save it for next year if you want

[17:55] <Prospero> I'm not wet.

[17:55] <Prospero> :S

[17:55] * Gyrfalcon points out at the rain

[17:55] <Gyrfalcon> How can you not be?

[17:55] <Gyrfalcon> Hmm... that works.

[17:55] <Gyrfalcon> We could keep adding to it... forever.

[17:56] <Prospero> I got in before it started

[17:56] <Gyrfalcon> Ah...

[17:56] <Valdar> frozen corpsie tree

[17:56] * Gyrfalcon looks at Canid, who looks somewhat damp "Oh, that explains it."

[17:56] * Valdar adds some ice shinies and some snow shinies

 

...conversation meandered on to other matters at this point.

Edited April 29, 2004 by Alaeha

[Canid]

Actually it turned back to the tree again afterwards; in the end it was broken in half and Prospero, decidng he didn't like the taste of it, left his half in the middle of a path in the forest.