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The Pen is Mightier than the Sword

Weenie Work

Guest Kasmandre

By Guest Kasmandre
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Guest Kasmandre

Guest Kasmandre

Posted
Posted (edited)

ooc: as much as I like having "Weenie Awardee" under my name (it makes me feel like I won something), I figure I better work it off if I'm ever going to advance.

 

Also, my brain's misfiring on all cylinders and I had a funny idea (at least to my sleep-deprived mind it seems funny...).

 

ic:Out back of the Pen's keep there's a large stable. Naturally, having this many horses in one place creates a rather large collection of, well horse shi t. Most of this is cleaned out of the stables on a regular and piled on the midden pile. So, there's a large pile of horse doody just sitting around...

 

And right now at this foul-smelling heap are two figures.

 

The first, wearing clothes stained with stuff the wearer would rather not think about, was shoveling horse-shi t into a large wagon. The other figure was standing beside the wagon, occasionally barking orders, but mostly just trying to make sure that he wasn't hit by flying shi t. The wagon, obviously enough, has: "Wyvern's High Quality, Super Grow Fertilizer!!" written on the side.

 

The shoveler stops for a moment and says to the other figure, "Wyvern, are you sure that this is how I'm supposed to be working off my weenie award?"

 

Wyvern snaps back, "Of course, now keep shoveling, Kasmandre!!"

 

"But I thought all I had to do was post something saying that I wasn't being a weenie and be active..."

 

Wyvern scoffs. "That's just a myth! In the secret Pen tome of ...um...Weenie Removie...dom...it says that you have to shovel @#%$ for the Almighty God of Initiates."

 

"Isn't your title Elder of Initiates?"

 

"That was a typo!!! Now get shoveling!!!"

 

"I'm gonna ask Ozymandias about this..." Kasmandre said, setting down the shovel and starting toward the Keep.

 

"Wait!! If you don't tell Ozymandias, I'll triple your pay!!"

 

Kasmandre thought about this for a moment. "I thought you weren't paying me."

 

"Yes, but I'll double it!!"

 

Kasmandre thought about this for a moment. He knows there's something wrong with Wyvern's logic, but his brain's been so addled by the smell of the horseshi t that he can't tell what exactly.

 

"You know, I'm gonna go in and lie down. I think the fumes are getting to me." Kasmandre starts walking back toward the Pen.

 

"But but but," Wyvern sputters, "You can't do that!! You'll be a Weenie forever!!!"

 

Kasmandre turned back for a moment and said, "You know, I post, I help people out, I'm a good guy, that should be enough. And if it isn't, a Weenie Award is a pretty good conersation piece." And he kept going back to the Pen.

 

"C'mon, Kazzy old boy!! I've got creditors waiting for three tons of this stuff!! Come back!! I'll triple your pay!! Hell, I'll actually pay you!! I'll let you drive the wagon!!! I'll buy you drinks!!! I'll be your friend!!! C'mon!!" But Kasmandre was already back inside the Pen.

 

"Cra p!" Wyvern muttered, sitting down in disgust. Then he realized that he had sat down on a pile of...

 

Wyvern started to cry. "I'm gonna get my legs broke!!" he wailed.

 

--------------

 

Kasmandre1.1

 

All the old bugs have been fixed

 

We swear!!

 

Ok, there is this one where he explodes when placed beside women with large leather shields.

 

But what're the odds of that?

Edited by Alaeha
Guest Tamaranis

Guest Tamaranis

Posted
Posted

You mean we're NOT supposed to be shovelling manure?

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