Quill Quest

[Guest Rezure]

Although my Quill Quest stated that I had to post it in the AM UBB , I decide to absolve myself of that responsibility.

 

Anyway, here's my first Quill Quest entry attemp (Main Entry)and an alternate entry (Alternate Entry).

 

Rezure

[Guest Rezure]

The candlelight flickered high above set in the rough stone walls of the chapel. I stood quietly, trying to, without movement see who the people standing beside me were. Their heads were covered by deep dark-brown hoods - as, I noticed, was mine. I tried to turn my mind so as to remember how I got here. The last thing I could picture was a long wooden table in the Mess Hall. We were celebrating our advancement to Quill-Bearers. I wondered, how many days had passed since then. It occurred to me that this must be some bizarre Pen hazing ritual, and I was not disappointed. Soon, the Loremaster appeared on a throne above us. 'I have gathered you here' came his squeaky voice, made even more pitiful by the reverberating acoustics 'for the Bestowing of the Quests.' He called us one-by-one to the throne and whispered our quests to us. In the end, he said 'Now Go! And do not return here until you have fulfilled your rite of passage!' Although it sounded rather unconvincing, our legs moved as if without our agreement.

 

Through a whirlwind of halls torches and passages, I had, within moments reached the Non-fiction wing of the Pen Keep's Library. Here I must stay till I know the animal which I am to find for our defense. Secluded from everyone for weeks on end, I dreamt of my room, of food, of drink and of games. My eyes grew red and my lips yellow, and then I had found it. It seemed to be an old manuscript, but I could still understand the words. It appears an ancient Fanadin scribe was once faced with the same challenge that now lay before me.

-----

Gentle Reader, if you look within, you shall know of the Greatness of Our Society of the Fanadins which has lasted from the longest past to the longest future. We are thinkers, monks and scribes, and it is our duty to keep the knowledge of the world within our walls. But our elders think emerald thoughts in their halls of sapphire, and are little concerned with the daily troubles that we encounter. So they have chose me to find a scheme to protect our halls from those who seek to do evil unto us. Needing of council, I had sent envoys from our land to the five corners of the world, to bring me five wise men. And I had promised to give of our knowledge a taste to him that proposes the best solution for our defenses. 444 days after they were first sent, four envoys returned, each bringing a wise man with him. Each of the next four days, we sat in the Circle Room, and each of the four days, it was a turn for another wise man to speak of his proposal, and for me to question him.

 

The First Day

 

Lots were drawn and it came to be that the first to speak was Kamenor, the wiseman and High Priest of Axxeratia, the land where they worship Fire. In his hand, he held a golden birdcage, and wiithin there was a small red-golden bird. 'This,' he said 'is the phoenix.

 

'Now it is small, but it can grow if it wishes. It is the bird of fire that the sorcerers of Axxeratia created especially for you, O Defender of the Fanadin. A phoenix is immortal, and so too shall be your vast knowledge and your mighty fortress if you choose it for your Guard. Its majestic beauty will draw you many admirers. And its feathers of fire can burn down any enemy that comes near.'

 

At this I became worried and I asked Kamenor whether or not it could also burn down our trove of knowledge, which it was meant to protect. Kamenor was expecting such a question: 'A phoenix does not play with Fire, oh no! It will only use it when it cannot be done without. For there are times when even your keep is not of paramount concern. Books can be rewritten from the ashes, if there are still those in whose minds lies true knowledge it will rise again like the phoenix. But what use are your books if there are none who will read them and understand? And what use is your garden if none will walk through it and marvel at its beauty?'

 

The Second Day

 

The next evening it was the turn of Agashul, wise man and Druid of Shuangrim, the land where they worship the earth. He held a young wolf pup on a treebark leash.

 

'This pup will grow up to be a giant,' he said 'it is the strongest, most intelligent wolf in the world, we have bred him especially for you. For who can guard better than the wolf can? Not the phoenix! The wolf will not destroy your prized posessions, all he needs is water and prey to hunt and he will leave you alone. The wolf is loyal and it will always obey its master. It shall forever be true to you alone. The wolf is so menacing that none will even attempt to attack you, and you shall live in peace for the rest of time.'

 

At this I became worried and I asked Agashul if it would also not drive away those that would befriend us. To this came his reply "Once when I was a little boy, my father took me hunting and I was truly scared of the animals. But would I be a wise man if I still had the same fear?"

 

"But would not your enemies also be able to reach you if they are worthy and brave people?" spoke up Kamenor

 

"How do you know who is worthy of coming into your house but by who knocks at your doors?" said Agashul, and signaled that the matter was closed.

 

The Third Day

 

The third evening Mor, the wise man of Milquase, the land where they worship the dead presented us with his proposal. Mor was a seven foot tall man, seemingly younger than the rest, but sombre and dressed all in black, all of which served to make me more attentive to what he had to say.

 

With him was a stuffed model of what he called a 'lich' though I had never heard the word. "This is a model of a Lich. Unlike the others, the lich is too dangerous to bring even here. It can make those who move stand still, and that which stands still move around to its whims. Truly a fortress like yours is deserving of a guard that has power to guard it incomparable with the rest."

 

I did not like this suggestion much and was beginning to sway towards the wolf. Then Agashul, who had heard of liches, replied "But they say a lich is an agent of darkness. What do you have to say to that, Mor?" Mor could not deny it "Yes, a lich is indeed evil. But is it better to be the one who lets evil stand at your gate or the one who lets it lie and fester within your home? Does not evil outside mean there is only good within? For what is a greater deterrent against darkness than a greater darkness?"

 

The Fourth Day

 

Now it was the turn of the last of the wisemen, Delen from Aolel, the land where they worship the sky.

 

He had nothing is his hands as he stood up. "I propose," he began "that you choose me as your guardian for I am not a brute animal. Only I know the true worth of what I must guard, only I am prepared to give anything for its protection."

 

This to me seemed the best proposition.

---

At reading the manuscript I was greatly annoyed. It appears the Fanadin scribe had chosen Delen. No lessons to glean here, as, obviously, that wasn't really an option available to me. Nor did it help matters when I read that the Fanadin Society was destroyed 15 years after this manuscript was written. Not only was this scribe's choice a useless one to me, it was also the wrong one for him.

 

At that I had enough. With a loud (as far as libraries go, anyhow) "To hell with all this, I'll just tell 'em to get a moose," my Quill Quest was over.

[Guest Rezure]

There, I had my assignment. I needed to find and bring a suitable animal to guard the Pen's keep. I started with the (side note, I propose the previous two words be joined into one, withe for situations such as this) Big Animal & Fantastic Creature Encyclopedia. Having no brilliant ideas for a guard, I just started flipping through the pages. Sadly for me, the range of options was exactly as large as the list of reasons they were unsuitable.

 

aardvark - bad for many reasons. Is both toothless and talks back too much at the same time. I don't know how that's possible, but it is.

 

aardwolf - too rare. Instead of deterring attacks, it will bring attacks from Greenpeace and the World Wildlife Fund.

 

abalone - a little on the listless side.

 

adder - This is going primarily to guard the shrubbery, right? Well, I just thought serpents can't be trusted at guarding trees.

 

air elemental - I think everyone who's ever played AM will agree with me

 

albatross - I think it's wrong to make an albatross serve you. Yeah, I read that somewhere.

 

alligator - we'd need to build a moat to house an alligator. Then we'd need to build a bridge to go over the moat. Then we'd still need a guard to guard the bridge.

 

anaconda - we don't have many people or large mammals to feed it. And a hungry anaconda is a dangerous anaconda.

 

anemone - see: abalone. Not only do they rhyme, they also are about equal in terms of being successful at guarding something. Macaroni also comes to mind with these two criteria.

 

angel - Yeah, but what if we do something wrong? Do we get killed then or what happens? I'm not willing to risk everybody. Well, maybe everybody else, but not me, for sure.

 

angora - can something so soft and fuzzy really protect anything?

 

anteater - good if ants attack. Bad otherwise.

 

antelope - antelopes prefer flight to fight, it says here.

 

ants - what use is the keep's safety if one wouldn't be able to have a lovely picnic outside?

 

ape - There is a possibility that it sill grow to a giant size and climb up on our highest building and refuse to come down. And take the prettiest girl in the keep for a wife. And then Godzilla would come over and, frankly, it's be much more trouble than it's worth.

 

archangel - see: angel.

 

arctic fox - To take advantage of it's camouflage, we'd either have to paint everything else white, or paint the fox. And who is willing to put in that much actual work? Not I!

 

auk - I'm hoping none of you know what an auk is so that I don't have to come up with a real reason. Err... It's just not good... To be honest, I don't really know what an auk is either beyond that it's a bird of some kind. I mean, I make believe here, but let's face facts, the Big Animal and Fantastic Creature Encyclopedia doesn't really exist. And if it did, I'm sure auks wouldn't be included.

 

...and I needn't tell you, that was just the first tome. No, I thought, all of these creatures, magnificent as they may be, are missing something important - they all used brawn. I knew our guard animal would have to have some sort of literary advantage over the others, after all, would we want to betray our name? (That's an implied "No" in this case).

 

The owl, maybe? I mean, after all, they wear glasses and mortarboards, so they must be pretty smart (and not overly obsessed with self-image). But that idea quickly proved itself worthless after a trial run. Sure, the owl could work the night shift fine, but during the day it was as blind as a... well, actually, bat.

 

Then it dawned on me. The perfect animal to guard and protect us and the shrubbery! Who else but the moose. I know what you're thinking (well, at least one of the things) "Moose? Moose??? The big-hairy-stinking-bash-its-head-against-other-moose-good-for-nothing-grass-chewing-near-sighted-fuzzy-antlers moose? What kind of advantage does the moose have over other animals?"

 

Well, my confused friends, the answer to your question lies within the line-long word I just invented. Yep, the plural of moose is the same as the singular. We shouldn't kid ourselves - our defence budget is very limited. We don't have the resources nor the will to keep a whole army of creatures. In fact, we can only keep one at a time. But with the moose, no one need ever know that! Just nickname our moose "Threehundred" and we're set. How does this help? Sit back and enjoy the following "transitional vignette."

 

Imagine if you will, a scene in a shrubbery-robbers lair. There are two shrubbery-robbers, Tyler and Kris. They've kidnapped Zool (just for argument's sake) and are planning to go in and steal our shrubbery using the knowledge he so freely gives out to them (Zool's not very good with threats).

 

Tyler: Hey, I've got a great idea, let's go rob the Pen of their shrubbery!

Kris: Dude, that's an awesome idea. Say Zool, you got some good shrubbery over there at the pen

Zool: ow! yes, we've got good shrubbery! Now stop pinching me!

Tyler: Hahahaha. Not 'till you tell us where you hide it

Zool: ow! ow! It's in the huge garden. You walk in (the password is "TheDoor" by the way) third corridor on your left and fourthdoor on your right takes you right to there. Ouch! You're still pinching! That hurts! Waah!

Tyler: So, Zoolio, got anything guarrding this delicious and otherwise magnificent shrubbery?

Zool: Yeah! Threehoundred moose.

Kris: Dude, that's a major bummer. We can't steal their shrubs. Let's just beat up Zool out of frustration, man.

Zool: No, no, no. If you do, we'll set Threehundred moose on you

Kris: Tyler, dude, we better let him go, man

Tyler: Alright, Mr. Zool. Now get out of our sight!

 

The End.

 

There you have it: loud and clear. The moose is clearly the only good candidate for the job. He thanks you for your consideration and looks forward to hearing from you in the near future... Now where was I?