Quotes

[Damon Inferel]

Bleh... I don't know a whole lot of quotes, so i'm just going to use my own... I'm not fishing for supreme recognition or anything, but... Well, they're in my signature anyway. They're my darker quotes...

 

Don't hide your feelings... destroy them.

 

Respect what you love. tolerate what you hate. That is the key to sanity.

 

I might edit this later with other stuff...

[Savannah]

A few words from the visionary Steven

Wright:------

 

 

 

 

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

 

3)  Okay, so what's the speed of dark?

 

4)  Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

 

5)  When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

 

6)  Hard work pays off in the future.  Laziness pays off now.

 

7)  Everyone has a photographic memory.  Some just don't have film.

 

  Shin:  a device for finding furniture in the dark.

 

9)  Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

 

10) I intend to live forever-so far, so good.

 

13) When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

 

14) What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

 

16) I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

[Savage Dragon]

Alright maybe some of these are being repeaed but its a pretty long list to read thru. My favorites are also on my signature

 

"Sex without love is an empty experience, but as far as empty experiences go its one of the best"

 

"The difference between sex and death is with death you can do it alone and no one will make fun of you"

 

"What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet"

 

"I never want to marry. I just want to get divorced"

 

-----Woody Allen

 

""The most beautiful thing in Tokyo is McDonalds. The most beautiful thing in Stockholm is McDonalds. Peking and Moscow don't have anything beautiful yet"

 

"Changing your tastes to what other people want is your only hope of getting anything"

 

"If people want to spend their whole lives creaming and tweezing and brushing and gluing, thats really ok too, because it gives them something to do"

 

-----Andy Warhol

 

“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it”

 

“From the moment I picked up you book until I laid it down, I was convulsing with laughter. Someday I intend to read it”

 

“He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot, but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot”

 

“Well, Art is Art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water! And East is East and West is West and if you take cranberries and stew them with applesauce they taste more like prunes than rhubarb does… Now you tell me what you know”

 

“Well, I hardly know where to begin. I hardly know when to stop, either; just give me a few drinks and see for yourself”

 

-----Groucho Marx

 

“If stupidity got us into this mess, why can’t it get us out”

 

“We can’t all be heroes… because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they all go by”

 

“You can’t say civilizations don’t advance… in every war they kill you a new way”

 

“The man with the best job in the country is the Vice-President. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, ‘How is the President?’”

 

“Nothing you can’t spell will ever work”

 

------Will Rogers

 

“Whatever you are, be a good one”

 

“If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?”

 

“How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn’t make it a leg”

 

“Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle”

 

------Abe Lincoln

 

“Never wear anything that panics the cat”

 

There is no way to make vomiting courteous. You have to do the next best thing, which is vomiting in such a way that the story you tell about it later will be amusing”

 

“Drugs have taught an entire generation of American kids the metric system”

 

“Feminism seems to be a case of women having a leg-wrestling match with their own other leg. There is only one thing for men to do in response to this confusing situation, which is the same thing men have always done, which is anything women want”

 

------P. J. O’Rourke

 

“A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain”

 

“Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society”

 

“If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. That is the principle difference between a dog and a man”

 

“The surest protection against temptation is cowardice”

 

------Mark Twain

 

“I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird, and not enough the bad luck of the early worm”

 

“”Never underestimate a man who overestimates himself”

 

------Franklin Roosevelt

 

“If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk?”

 

“Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former”

 

“The answer is ‘yes’ or ‘no,’ depending on the interpretation”

 

------Albert Einstein

:dragon4:

Edited January 31, 2004 by MeThinksUFoolish

[jonathan_wolfe]

I pulled some of my favorite quotes from Alpha Centauri, some of the sources are fictional.

 

"The righteous need not cower before the drumbeat of human progress. Though the song of yesterday fades into the challenge of tomorrow, God still watches and judges us. Evil lurks in the datalinks as it lurked in the streets of yesteryear. But it was never the streets that were evil."

Sister Miriam Godwinson

"The Blessed Struggle"

 

"And when the hourglass has run out, the hourglass of temporality, when the noise of secular life has grown silent and its restless or ineffectual activism has come to an end, when everything around you is still, as it is in eternity, then eternity asks you and every individual in these millions and millions about only one thing: whether you have lived in despair or not."

Soren Kierkegaard

"The Sickness Unto Death"

(The one above is real and by a famous psychologist)

 

"Eternity lies ahead of us, and behind.

Have you drunk your fill?"

Lady Deirdre Skye

"Conversations with Planet", Epilogue

 

"As the Americans learned so painfully in Earth's final century, free flow of information is the only safeguard against tyranny. The once-chained people whose leaders at last lose their grip on information flow will soon burst with freedom and vitality, but the free nation gradually constricting its grip on public discourse has begun its rapid slide into despotism. Beware of he who would deny you access to information, for in his heart he dreams himself your master."

Commissioner Pravin Lal

"U.N. Declaration of Rights"

[Savannah]

In Italy for thirty years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, bloodshed - they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love, fire hundred years of democracy and peace and what did that produce…? The cuckoo clock.

The Third Man, spoken by Orson Welles, Director

[Gwaihir]

"I can't refute an incredulous stare." David Lewis

[Savannah]

"The secret of being miserable is to have leisure to bother about whether

you are happy or not. The cure for it is occupation."

George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo."

- H. G. Wells (1866-1946)

 

"Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever."

- Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)

 

"Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake."

- Chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower (1887-1956)

 

"Don't be so humble - you are not that great."

- Golda Meir (1898-1978) to a visiting diplomat

 

"His ignorance is encyclopedic"

- Abba Eban (1915-2002)

 

"If a man does his best, what else is there?"

- General George S. Patton (1885-1945)

 

"I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better."

- A. J. Liebling (1904-1963)

[Valdar and Astralis]

"Son, if you get in a fight and find yourself lacking a weapon, roll up some newspapers and poke people with it"

 

--My physics lecturer

 

 

"The line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being, and who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?"

 

--Alexander Solzhenitsyn

[Ozymandias]

"Welcome to the fallout: where the truth and the shadows have become blurred. This is the incompletion... and we are holding our breath. But look! The winds of redemption have come to within the confines of our frozen fists. 'Behold, I make all things new.' And in this newness, there is hope for the hopeless, where the eternal lines of the heavens collide with our own humanity. In the divine comedy where up is down and down is up we lose ourselves to find ourselves. Love is the movement. This is the revolution."

-Switchfoot, Learning to Breathe

[DeanTheAdequate]

"A day without wierd is a day wasted."

 

-Christopher Kinsey

[Peredhil]

'Advice Is What We Ask For When We Already Know The Answer But Wish We Didnt'

 

Erica Jong

[reverie]

The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary. --James D. Nicoll

 

 

"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody."

- Bill Cosby

 

 

"That which makes you exceptional, if you are at all, is inevitably that which must also make you lonely."

- Lorraine Hansberry

 

The best luck of all is the luck you make for yourself.

- General Douglas MacArthur

 

I have known war as few men now living know it. It's very destructiveness on both friend and foe has rendered it useless as a means of settling international disputes.

-Douglas MacArthur

 

 

 

rev...

Edited December 28, 2004 by reverie

[Savannah]

All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt!

Lucy Van Pelt (in Peanuts, by Charles M. Schulz)

 

 

I've had three lovers in the past four years, and they all ran a distant second to a good book and a warm bath.

 

On a superficial level, I'm clumsy, self-deprecating, uncertain at times, and I say stupid things.

Renee Zellweger

 

 

A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.

Sir Winston Churchill

[Xaious, Master of Time]

"If it didn't work the first time, you shouldn't have kept trying!"

My mom.

 

"If you start messing up, you may as well just quit."

Also, my Mom.

[Kasmandre]

"Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat."

-John Lehman, US Secretary of the Navy

[Peredhil]

"Those who see perfection grade themselves as failing on every attempt, yet those who see the perfectionist only see the misty heights to which they've attained."

 

L. Wilson

[Savannah]

Mom-isms

I am sure you all recognize them

 

A little soap & water never killed anybody.

 

Always wear clean underwear in case you get in an accident.

 

Are you going out dressed like that?

 

Are your hands broken? Pick it up yourself! I'm not your maid!

 

Don't ask me WHY. The answer is NO.

 

Don't cross your eyes or they'll freeze that way.

 

Don't EVER let me catch you doing that again!

 

Don't make me come in there!

 

Don't put that in your mouth, you don't know where it's been.

 

Don't run with a lollipop in your mouth.

[jonathan_wolfe]

There is much disorder under the heavens and his pulse is normal

 

-Doonesbury

[reverie]

Hide not your talents, they for use were made. What's a sun-dial in the shade?

 

and

 

Declarations of fixed opinion

determined never to change

neither enlighten nor convince us.

Anger on one side naturally begets it on the other

and tends to augment discord and division,

wherein harmony and Union

are extremely necessary

to give weight to our councils

and render them effectual

in promoting and securing the common good.

 

Benjamin Franklin

US author, diplomat, inventor, physicist, politician, & printer (1706 - 1790)

[Mira]

"God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die."

-Calvin & Hobbes-

[YanYanGanaffi]

Sometimes you just have to throw a grenade at it.

 

-J.K. Beasley

[DeanTheAdequate]

"Some days you just can't get rid of a bomb!"

-Adam West

[Canid]

Well.... since the thread has been brought to the surface again and I have been wanting to post in it recently anyway.... :woot:

 

 

"I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man swear he loves me" ~ Much Ado About Nothing, William Shakespeare

 

"Flipity-flopity bunny!

Flipity-flopity bunny!

Bunny is nice,

As nice as can be.

Chop him up and have him for tea!"

~ a song from an English pantomime

 

"I really have a secret satisfaction in being considered rather mad." ~ W. Heath Robinson, 1872-1944

 

"Believe me, Baldrick, eternity in the company of Beelzebub, and all his hellish instruments of death, will be a picnic compared to five minutes with me, and this pencil" ~ Ink and Incapability, Blackadder III

 

"Why not? Because, in the first place, self decapitation is an extremely difficult, not to say dangerous, thing to attempt; and, in the second, it's suicide, and suicide is a capital offence." ~ The Mikado, Gilbert and Sullivan

 

"I cannot agree with those who rank modesty among the virtues. To the logician all things should be seen exactly as they are, and to underestimate one's self is as much a departure from truth as to exaggerate one's own powers." ~ The Greek Interpreter, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

 

"Politicians like to panic, they need activity. It's their substitute for achievement." ~ Sir Humphrey, Yes, Minister

 

Sir Humphrey: If local authorities don't send us the statistics that we ask for, then government figures will be a nonsense.

Jim Hacker: Why?

Sir Humphrey: They will be incomplete.

Jim Hacker: But government figures are a nonsense anyway.

Bernard Woolley: I think Sir Humphrey wants to ensure they are a complete nonsense.

~ Yes, Minister

 

Jim Hacker: Are you saying that winking at corruption is government policy?

Sir Humphrey: No, no, Minister. It could never be government policy. That is unthinkable. Only government practice.

~ Yes, Minister

 

"He that would keep a secret, must keep it secret that he has a secret to keep." ~ Sir Humphrey, Yes, Minister

 

Sir Humphrey: Minister I have something to say to you which you may not like to hear.

Jim: Why should today be any different.

Sir Humphrey: Minister, the traditional allocation of executive responsibilities has always been so determined as to liberate the Ministerial incumbent from the administrative minutiae by devolving the managerial functions to those whose experience and qualifications have better formed them for the performance of such humble offices, thereby releasing their political overlords for the more onerous duties and profound deliberations which are the inevitable concomitant of their exalted position.

Jim: Now, whatever made you think I wouldn't want to hear that.

Sir Humphrey: Well I though it might upset you.

Jim: How could it, I didn't understand a single word. Humphrey for God's sake, for once in your life put it into plain English.

Sir Humphrey: If you insist. You are not here to run this Department.

Jim: I beg your pardon.

Sir Humphrey: You are not here to run this Department.

Jim: I think I am. The people think I am too.

Sir Humphrey: With respect Minister you are ... they are wrong.

Jim: And who does run this Department?

Sir Humphrey: I do.

~ Yes, Minister

 

Uttered in a certain way--dragged out, if you know what I mean, and

starting high up and going down into the lower register, the word

``Ah!'' can be as sinister and devastating as the word ``Ho!''

~ Very Good, Jeeves, P.G. Wodehouse

 

'I hate you, I hate you!' cried Madeline, a thing I didn't know anyone

ever said except in the second act of a musical comedy.

~ Stiff Upper Lip, Jeeves, P.G. Wodehouse

 

"Madeline Bassett labors under the delusion that I am madly in love with her. Well, when a girl thinks you're in love with her and comes to you and says that she's returning her betrothed to store and is prepared to sign up with you instead - what can you do except marry her? You have to be civil." ~ Wooster, Jeeves and Wooster (TV)

 

"Please relax," said the voice pleasantly, like a stewardess in an airliner with only one wing and two engines, one of which is on fire, "you are perfectly safe."

~ The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams

 

"Number Two's eyes narrowed and became what are known in the Shouting and Killing People trade as cold slits, the idea presumable being to give your opponent the impression that you have lost your glasses or are having difficulty keeping awake. Why this is frightening is an, as yet, unresolved problem." ~ The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams

 

"The world is full of obvious things which nobody by any chance ever observes." ~ Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

 

"The Press, Watson, is a most valuable institution, if you only know how to use it." ~ The Adventure of the Six Napoleons, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

[Peredhil]

So it is easy to see in this little group [Toastmasters] why:

 

    * The certificates of achievement are meaningless.

    * A tyranny suppresses truth while fostering lies.

    * All honest members must become alienated, either they become cowed into silence, resign or get thrown out of the club.

    * Only the worst, those who care least about the art of public speaking and the truth, aspire to office.

    * The purpose of the organisation is reversed as its function devalues the art of rhetoric.

 

A result obtained by the character of its membership who insist upon pleasant lies in the place of harsh truth...

Philip Atkinson, Two modes of truth; Riches from truth, Ruin from lies

 

Thought it interesting as I was researching the signs of a declining civilization.

[Mynx]

"Of course I'm not okay. I hate your guitar. If I'd wanted to share a room with an irritating lump of wood I'd have moved in with an Australian soap star."

Arnold Rimmer ~ Red Dwarf