Quotes

[Gwaihir]

My nature is something list like. I collect lists of quotes. I doubt you care, but maybe someone delights in such lists as I do (probably not, but I won't mention that).

These are Mythian, and Daryl and Jheric have not yet give me permission to quote them, but...

 

It is better to die on your feet than live on your knees.

-- Emiliano Zapata

 

I may die, but by all the gods-- I'll die free.

--Daryl Carnsillion

 

I plan to live forever... but if that is not to be, I'm taking you with me.

--Jheric

 

No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings

-Keats “The Marriage of Heaven and Hell”

 

“A dead body revenges not injuries”

-Keats “The Marriage of Heaven and Hell”

 

"The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his. "

- General George Patton (1885-1945)

 

Treason doth never prosper: what's the reason? For if it prosper, none dare call it treason.

-Sir John Harington

 

Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think.

-- Niels Bohr

 

 

We are going to have peace even if we have to fight for it.

-Dwight D. Eisenhower

 

The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you've got it made.

-Jean Giraudoux

 

After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.

-Cato the Elder

 

Even a fool knows you can't touch the stars, but it doesn't stop a wise man from trying.

-Harry Anderson (Night Court)

 

Hope is a good breakfast, but it is a bad supper.

-Francis Bacon

 

What is history but a fable agreed upon?

-Napolean Bonaparte

 

"It is said an eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent a sentence, to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him with the words, 'And this, too, shall pass away.'

-Abraham Lincoln

 

You don't have to swim faster than the shark, just faster than the guy next to you.

-P. Benchley

 

Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.

- Terry Pratchett

 

Remember, it takes 42 muscles to frown and only 4 to pull the trigger of a decent sniper rifle.

 

It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either.

-Mark Twain

 

Never tell the truth to those unworthy of it.

-Mark Twain

 

The quickest way to a man's heart is not through the stomach but through his chest, with an axe.

 

Eagles may soar, free and proud, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines.

 

'Tis better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than open one's mouth and remove all doubt.

--Samuel Johnson

 

The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on.

--Joseph Heller, Catch-22

 

He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.

--H. H. Munro

 

He is one of those people who I enormously improved by death.

--Myth

 

It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.

- George Bernard Shaw

 

MINE, adj. Belonging to me if I can hold or seize it.

- Ambrose Bierce

 

No one travels so high as he who knows not where he is going.

-Oliver Cromwell

 

A .44 magnum beats four aces.

- Unknown

 

The wind and waves are always on the side of the ablest navigators.

- Edward Gibbon

 

The majority of the time, the thing that gets in the way of success... is your brain.

- Chris Blake

 

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and whatever you hit, call it the target

- Ashleigh Brilliant

 

Kites rise highest against the wind -- not with it.

– Winston Churchill

 

You don't drown by falling in the water; you drown by staying there.

- Robert Collier

 

"An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made, in a narrow field."

- Niels Henik David Bohr

 

Learning is not compulsory... neither is survival."

- William Edwards Deming

 

"Progress always involves risk; you can't steal second base and keep your foot on first base."

-Fredrick Wilcox

 

There is no substitute for good manners, except fast reflexes

- Steven Brust

 

 

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I want to be page 93 of Pineapples, the Avian Crows

-Nyyark

[Gyrfalcon]

*Gyr grins to have a pair of his own quotes included in there*

 

I like them all. Granted, maybe because they happen to fit my worldview in most cases. (Perhaps not setting someone on fire to keep them warm for the rest of their life.... not when you can set the city on fire and help so many other poor souls! *evil laughter*)

[Guest Belizean1]

Those were great!

Loved the sniper rifle one.

[Guest Lord Seth Exodus]

Ha! Bravo! Very good indeed. Foe came up with a wonderful quote some time ago. I will, however, wait for him to post it; you know the one, Foe; Nelson, KFC. Wonderful idea, again.

 

-Seth exodus

Initiate of The Pen

[Lady Celes Crusader]

There's lots of nice quotes in there

 

I wonder thought if we can build quotes from what we actually say and post.

 

It could be interesting.

[Ozymandias]

If I may.

 

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

-Benjamin Franklin

 

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

-Groucho Marx

 

If you're going to lose, make sure they don't win as much.

-Goblin motto

 

One bone broken for every twig snapped.

-Llanowar penalty for trespassing

 

MishaNiz, Please dont take our guild's name in vain.

-Nazgul

 

Smiles and Bestest of Best Of Wishes-

Scorn (But that name is misleading, I'm really a nice, great guy and fun to be with...)

-Scorn

 

What do you expect me to say?

-MishaNiz

 

I'll get you yet! And with even less useful things to say!!!

-Ozymandias

 

I don't Give A Rats A$$ about who your allies are or what guild you claim to be part of

-shi-hulud, to The Grim Squeaker, THM while both were on App Server of Archmage

 

How in he name of god did this get turned into a bash canada string.

-shi-hulud

 

Man pictures lined this wall.

-Orlan

 

Gee, It sure helps in this game to have some backup.

-Jojo

 

It's been hard not to put "peachy keen" in every sig of yours, it has!

-Tzimfemme

 

Noo! You killed Bob!

-P51mus

 

it will take a horde, no wait a planet of pats to take me out without any help.

-Lord Janus

 

Ozymandias' quote sums up the entire reason why these hallowed halls still exist.

-Tzimfemme (in response to the above quote in the Archmage bulletin boards)

 

Grief is.

It, like love, touches our hearts and souls deeply. It is an expression of love.

Grief is not the loss of love, but the loss of one who is loved. The love remains in our hearts, a memory; a treasured impression of another that will last as long as we do.

Grief cannot restore that which we have lost, but can express the love that remains.

 

-In memory of Barbara Callahan.

-Abby Estes

 

Life is either a grand adventure or it is nothing.

-Helen Keller

 

Beauty is exuberance.

-Ernest Hemingway

 

Flames? That means insult right? I guess I could try......(ahem)

 

What is this!? I've seen more

interesting thing come out of my

dog's arse! I'm sure a blind one

armed monkey could do

better!You should sell your

computer! You aren't worthy of

being called human for writing

such tripe!

-Arawn Dan'Shir

 

The things I do for Terra.

-Arawn Dan'Shir

 

Sometimes I wonder. Then I stop.

-Matt Cox

[Tralla]

"The grave's a fine and private place,

But none I think do there embrace."

- Andrew Marvell

 

"Come on now, be reasonable, you can't destroy EVERYTHING.... where would you sit?"

 

Nobody's perfect... well, there was this guy, but I killed him.

Oh, and YOU!! Out of the gene pool.

 

If you drink, don't Park. Accidents cause people.

 

"I an but mad north-north-west. When the wind is southerly I know a hawk from a handsaw."

- Hamlet, Act 2:2

 

"Mom, romance is dead. It was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece."

- Lisa Simpson, The Simpsons

 

"If it isn't then it's not. But if it is...then there you go."

 

"Video games don't ruin kids. If Pac-Man ruined us as kids, we would all be running around in darkened rooms, eating magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music."

 

"The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast."

Oscar Wilde

 

"Twinkle, twinkle little star

I don't wonder what you are,

For by spectroscopic ken,

I know that you are hydrogen."

Ian D. Bush

[Lady Celes Crusader]

rofl

 

This is soooo great. Encore!

[Gyrfalcon]

*Gyr laughs and applauds* I love these quotes. Please, anyone else who has good quotes, come forward!

[Jakob]

Well, below is a list of quotes that I keep handy for my sigs.

 

All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.

- Crossing Over with John Edward

 

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

- Crossing Over with John Edward

 

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

- Un-named Physics student at Texas A&M

 

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

- Bi-Polar Behavorist

 

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

- Helpful Texas State Trooper

 

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

- The guy still sitting on my couch

 

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

- Alzheimer's Association FAQ

 

Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.

- My own epiphany

 

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

- Bill Jordan, EDS Admin Specialist (been in the same job for 35 years)

 

I intend to live forever -- so far, so good.

- Ghandi

 

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

- Pop (of "Pop Goes the Weasel" fame)

 

24 hours a day ... 24 beers in a case ... coincidence?

- Jimmy Kimmel and Adam Carolla from "The Man Show"

 

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets really crowded.

- Another Bi-Polar Behavorist

 

What happens when you get scared half to death twice?

- My older daughter, after watching Scream and Scream 2

 

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

- Bill Clinton

 

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

- My boss's auto mechanic (cost me 250 bucks!)

 

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

- President Nixon and Ken Lay (of ENRON)

 

For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.

- ME! Right after coming home from a night with the "boys".

 

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

- President Reagan, after the radio mic check in which he declared that bombings have begun on IRAN.

 

Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.

- Old man with impotence.

 

A clear conciense is usually the sign of a bad memory.

- Good ol' Forgetful Reagan

 

If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

- Charles Manson

 

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

- My student loan account manager

 

and the kicker:

 

42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

- Disgruntled Former Presidential Speech Writer.

 

(Note: all of these are from the comedian Steven Wright. I added fictitious sources in order to inject a bit more humor)

 

I'm a simple man. All I want is enough sleep for two normal men, enough whiskey for three, and enough women for four...

Herald for The Pen is Mightier Than the Sword

[Guest Foe Calibur]

I believe I know the one you speek of Seth. THis one came about after a very long wait for our food at the Nelson KFC:

 

"Patience is a virtue I have in plenty -- when there is food to stuff in its embodiment!"

[Guest Belizean1]

I am not sure who said this, it's kinda crude but still makes me chuckle

 

"Children in the back seat cause accidents, accidents in the back seat cause children."

[Guest Rezure]

"Swimming is an interesting sport, because sometimes you do it for fun, annd sometimes you do it to avoid dying" - comedian

 

"Time is passing. Are you?" - classroom poster

 

"All's well that ends well, said the peacock" - English Proverb (but it can't really be an old english proverb, cause it has to be newer than "all's well that ends well")

 

"this could very well end up being a one-goal game" - hockey commentator in a game that was in sudden death overtime

 

"We should all hang together lest we all hang separately" - Ben Franklin, I think

 

"It must be weird for Prince Harry to buy drugs with pictures of his grandma. But imagine how he feels licking stamps" - another comedian

 

"Is 93 the same as 95?" - some guy in Math 120 class

 

"Do these people have no legs?" - lady looking at nike 'boing' ad on the bus

 

"Don't spit into the well, if it flies out you can't catch it" - Russian 'mixed proverb'

 

"You're not a head higher, you're a head longer. But that can be changed" - rough translation of Napoleon via Russian

 

"I read it in French and it was still stupid" - Tolstoy on Shakespeare

 

"Nobody fucks with the Jesus" - from the Big Lebowski

 

"We can't always have our 'druthers" - from To Kill a Mockingbird

 

"You know, I believed the Noah's Ark story until I moved [to the Pacific Northwest]. When I lived in Saskatchewan, it seemed reasonable to me that if it rained for 40 straight days the whole earth would be flooded. But now I realise, when it rains for 40 straight days it just becomes kinda wet" - yet another comedian

 

ugghh, there's just so many more that I can't remember (and I am quite likely to have misquoted at least half of these)

[Guest ArawnD]

Well, I like all of the quotes, except my attempt at flaming.

 

Here are some little ones, unfortunately I don't know who said them.

 

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Leave me the hell alone.

 

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

 

There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

 

Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

 

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

 

If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

 

The Mad King

[Nyyark]

"But I have so much to say, and not enough people to say it to"

- My retort to myself for complaining that I talk to myself too much.

[Wyvern]

Here are a couple of quotes from some of my favorite poets:

 

"If I had a hammer... I'd build a city on stilts/ so my feet would stay dry when God's wine glass tilts/ And if I had a shovel... I'd dig a hole in the dirt/ and I'd be hiding when His drunken stupor lands Him on Earth."

-Aesop Rock

 

"They say a picture's worth a thousand words.../ Well I beg a thousand pardons for each word I've used for personal gains/ But the letters that float through my head to mold my sentances/ could never be contained by your simple picture frames!"

-Slug

 

"Ripping my cape on the ground that it dragged on./ Tripping on fate and hearing the sounds of a sad song./ Listen, it's great sharing time now that dad's gone,/ But what's with the choice of words?/ Or the body parts that you decided to tag them on?"

-Sage Francis (in guilty contemplation of his self-abusive sister.)

 

"Share the noteless flesh you on to disguise your imperfections/ Replicate thoughts that hibernate to hatch all perceptions/ What you hear is what you receive, take it and strive and continue to be/ as a sheet of loose leaf on a windy day: free."

-Illogic

 

"He threw his medals in the river but they sunk alone/ Put shades on his eyes to hide them from the warzone in the sky/

He tried to slit his wrists about a month ago.../ But he's seen so much death, he's scared to life of suicide."

-Eyedea (contemplating the life of a traumatized Vietnam war veteran)

 

"They say money's the root of all evil but I can't tell.../ You know what I mean: pesos, francs, yens, cowrie shells/ Dollar bills.../ Or is it the mindstate that's ill?/ Creating crime rates to fill the new prisons they build."

-Talib Kweli

 

"A day of work completed, a night of rest is needed/ Almost done with a book but eyelids to heavy to read it/ The fireplace is kindling, snug with your queen and building/ About the victories tomorrow's gonna bring your way."

-Gift of Gab

 

Enjoy!

 

------------------------------

Almost a Dragon...

"My life is one big crime, I try to scheme through it." -Common, "The 6th Sense"

Owner of the Decanter of Endless Booze.

[Justin Silverblade]

I've a whole book of quotes (quite literally), but here's a couple I like (though I haven't read through all of the above, so forgive me if one of them's been said.

 

"We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like?"

- Jean Cocteau

 

"Fear less, hope more,

eat less, chew more,

whine less, breath more,

talk less, say more,

hate less, love more,

and all good things will be yours."

- Swedish proverb

 

(This one's for Seth, and any other 'first chair' band players out there, coming from a not first chair. )

 

"If we were all determined to play the first violin we should never have an ensemble. Therefore, respect every musician in his proper place."

- Robert Schumann, German composer.

[Guest DoctorEvil65]

"It's been my experience that people who have no vices have very few virtues"...Abraham Lincoln

 

"I say live and let live. Anyone who can't accept that should be executed"....George Carlin

 

"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work......I want to achieve it through not dying".....Woody Allen

 

"I would have made a good Pope".....Richard Nixon

 

"Is the Doctor the only person that thinks punting a cat or a small dog is funny?".....DoctorEvil

 

You're weak! I'm going to kill you and there's nothing you can do about it"-A miscellaneous mage on S2, that the Doctor was at war with several resets ago when the Doctor was still a relative newbie.

 

"Please take your Meteor Storm off my ally, he's down to 1 fortress and can't use any turns unless you take it off"-That same mage's ally a couple of days later....right before the mage died from the Doctor's MS.

 

When you have to kill a man it costs nothing to be polite…..Winston Churchill (on formal declarations of war)

 

The pen may be stronger than the sword... but I'd rather have a sword in a dark alley…..Andrew Warnick

[Peredhil]

When you have to kill a man it costs nothing to be polite…..Winston Churchill (on formal declarations of war)

Oh... YES!!!

 

Laughs a tired maniacal laugh

[Guest Balladore]

"Courage is not the absence of fear... it is action in the face of it."

 

"We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give."

 

"Sign Broken. Message inside."

 

"Courage is the basic virtue on which all others depend for vitality and life. Of what use is wisdom, if one hasn't the courage to act wisely? Of what value is love, if one hasn't the courage to love? Of what end is truth, if one hasn't the courage to speak it? Of what consequence is faith, if one hasn't the courage to embrace it?"

 

"You've got to dance like nobody's watching, love like it's never going to hurt, and live each day as if it were your last."

 

"Climb high, climb far; your goal the sky, your aim the stars."

 

(and finally, I end on a humorous one (for me, anyway :-))

"The older I get, the more I wonder how I keep being able to kick everyone else's butt."

[Guest Zephryin]

Some Ralph Waldo Emerson quotes for your enjoyment:

 

Nature is a language and every new fact one learns is a new word; but it is not a language taken to pieces and dead in the dictionary, but the language put together into a most significant and universal sense. I wish to learn this language--not that I may know a new grammar, but that I may read the great book which is written in that tongue.

So far as a man thinks, he is free.

-=================-

Zephryin

Knight of The Constellation

Initiate of the Pen

-=================-

"Draw thy sword, that, if my speech offend a noble heart, thy arm may do thee justice: here is mine."

[Ozymandias]

"I look at my life and realize that if I ever do have children, not sleeping won't faze me."

-Me

 

"You try to tell them the world's gone mad, but they don't listen."

-Snoopy

 

"With great power comes great responsibilty."

-Stan Lee

 

"Sometimes the light's all shining on me, other times I can barely see. Lately, it occurs to me...what a long, strange trip it's been."

-Jerry Garcia

 

"This too shall pass."

-Book of Revelations

 

"He was born with a gift of laughter, and a sense that the world was mad."

-Sabatini

 

"There is really only one way to describe the effect the smell of Ankh-Morpork has on the visiting nose, and that is by analogy. Take a tartan. Sprinkle it with confetti. Light it with strobe lights.

 

Now take a chameleon. Put the chameleon on the tartan. Watch it closely."

-Terry Pratchett

 

"Where the games are made up, and the points don't matter."

-Drew Carey

 

"Although Junior didn't believe in mystics or in the various unearthly powers they claimed to possess, he knew that mystics who believed in themselves were exceptionally dangerous people."

-Dean Koontz

 

"You are old Father William, the young man said

And your hair has become very white.

And yet you incessantly stand on your head, do

you think at your age it is right?

 

In my youth, Father William replied to his son,

I feared it might injure the brain.

But now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,

why I do it agin and again!"

-Lewis Carroll

 

"Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give that to them? Then be not too eager to deal out death in the name of justice, fearing for your own safety. Even the wise cannot see all ends."

-J. R. R. Tolkien

 

"Now the halftime air was

sweet perfume

while the sergeants played

a marching tune

 

We all got up to dance

Oh-h but we never

got the chance

 

Cause the players

tried to take

the field

The marching band

refused to yield

 

Do you recall

what was revealed

the day

the music died"

-Don McLean

 

"With malice towards none and lizards for all"

-The cap from the bottle of Lizard Lava I bought on Saturday

[Gwaihir]

These don't really have a theme, but they're some of the not-so-Mythian quotes in my list. I've tried to avoid repeating, but I don't have a faultless memory, or time to make absolutely sure no one's posted said quote (I read them all carefully, but... : ), so bear with me if I do.

 

History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.

--Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)

 

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her." - Sascha Guitry

 

"I was no petty thief, I wanted the world or nothing."

- Charles Bukowski

 

Luck can't last a lifetime unless you die young.

- Russell Banks

 

He who hesitates is probably smart... or maybe stapled to the floor.

- Dr. Squid

 

Nonchalance is the ability to remain down to earth when everything else is up in the air.

- Earl Wilson

 

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it. -

Groucho Marx

 

Inspiration could be called inhaling the memory of an act never experienced.

-Ned Rorem

 

Music is the art of thinking with sounds.

-Jules Combarie

 

Trust in Allah, but tie your camel.

--Old Muslim Proverb

 

[He was] a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.

--Mark Twain

 

'Tis better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than open one's mouth and remove all doubt.

--Samuel Johnson

 

Always tell the truth. That way, you don't have to remember what you said.

- Mark Twain

 

Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie!" ...until you can find a rock.

 

Old MacDonald had an agricultural real estate tax abatement.

 

It is better to debate a question without settling it than to settle a question without debating it."

 

"It is an old maxim of mine that when you have excluded the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth."

-Conan Doyle, The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, "The Beryl Coronet"

 

It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.

-Alfred Adler

 

Hope is a good breakfast, but it is a bad supper.

-Francis Bacon

 

When in doubt, mumble; when in trouble, delegate; when in charge, ponder.

-James H. Boren

 

After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one. -Cato the Elder

 

From now on, ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put.

-Winston Churchill

 

Delores breezed along the surface of her life like a flat stone forever skipping along smooth water, rippling reality sporadically but oblivious to it consistently, until she finally lost momentum, sank, and due to an over- dose of fluoride as a child which caused her to suffer from chronic apathy, doomed herself to lie forever on the floor of her life as useless as an appendix and as lonely as a five-hundred pound barbell in a steroid-free fitness center.

Winning sentence, 1990 Bulwer-Lytton bad fiction contest.

 

A hippo does not have a sting in its tail, but a wise man would still rather be sat on by a bee. -- Polish proverb

 

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

-- Abraham Lincoln

 

"If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance."

- George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

 

"The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good."

- Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)

 

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."

- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

 

Once at a social gathering, Gladstone said to Disraeli, 'I predict, Sir, that you will die either by hanging or of some vile disease'. Disraeli replied, 'That all depends, sir, upon whether I embrace your principles or your mistress.'

 

Am reserving two tickets for you for my premiere. Come and bring a friend - if you have one.

-- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

 

Impossible to be present for the first performance. Will attend second - if there is one.

--Churchill's reply

 

He has the vocal modulation of a railway-station announcer, the expressive power of a fence-post and the charisma of a week-old head of lettuce.

--Fintan O'Toole film critic, on Quentin Tarantino

 

The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true. –

James Branch Cabell, The Silver Stallion

 

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I want to be page 93 of Pineapples, the Avian Crows

-Nyyark

[Guest Minta Rose]

"So I've been banned from the openings, eh? Well, I'll wait three days--and go to the closings!"--Walter Winchell

 

(Yes, I love the vitriolic ones best.)

[Lady Celes Crusader]

*rofl* I enjoyed these. I think it'll be my turn to find some of these pearls.