a conversation I had with a fool human

[Gwaihir]

The demograpics of the pen are extreamly in favor of half-elfs

do we humans get minority benifits?

no

elfs do though

Are you Human?

no, elven

I thought not

I'm just denying you benifits

I tell you these elves are bringing the quality of the pen down

I've never seen an elf write one decent piece of work

hey watch it, I've been here longer than some humans in this room!

They're threatening to take over

or already have

I say the supior race should unite and relclaim the pen

Lets hear it For humans!

(and crows)

* Gwaihir looks for obsidmen

I don't see any of the superior race

=)

well, I'm here, but...

that doesn't change the lack of supriority

and this is from a stumbling clumsy creature

ha!

At least I can grow up!

not all elves are short

some can be quite tall

sure

small or tall, lets see one look, not mention act, their age!

Tree Hugging sissys

poor humans so worried about being inferior that they have to worry about acting grown up

I could so take you crow boy!

yeah yeah what of it

so watch who you call a sissy!

let's see you fight fist to fist without your wimpy elf steel

not to say that half my tree friends could take you with their eyes shut

why?

Ha half your tree's don't have eyes!

metaphorical oh wise human

(sarcasm)

That just shows how you elves think, Why fight honorably when I could win

you all can fight hand to hand because you just can't make weapons as we can

We fight hand to hand because we can

because it would be too easy otherwise

because you don't have the brain or hand control to do it otherwise

you don't have the brawn to do otherwise

you could beat me hand to hand but I cold take you with a bow OR with steel

lets see you mine your own metal eh?

Well If we rammed heads enough I think I know who would stand

do you?

I can

thats the point

you have no grace, adn that's just it

you have to use your hands, or mine metal(UGH), because you have no grace

Ha you can't understand the grace of humans, thats the problem with you elves

cant understand it? for a very good reason

it doesn't exist except in your head

Oh who knows about what exist and doesn't

elves

Elves are such dreamers

intelligence is useful

you know we have humans beat on that count

we humans are limited on our time, so we put it to use

long years have their use heh

you have all the time in the world, and you waste it

waste?

what will you leave behind?

Waste

More kids

so you breed like rodents

and live like them

ugh

You'll never see us as the dying race

rats won't die out either

ha you elves can't stomach the real world

half if the real world we created

the other half is awful

You just say that because it doesn't treat you like Gods

or because we tired of things that act like orcs

You brag about intellegence, but once somthing goes out of your pretty little box, Its awful

then we get rid of it

Ha

I'd rather live gracefully, then work like a dirty dog

why are there still orcs?

because unlike humans we arent' crass enough to always be fighting for power

we're more subtle

I'd rather see the work of my own hands, than live like a God surrounded by unrealistic, narrcistic, loser elves

you think I don't make things wiht my own hands?

* Gwaihir hands Nyyark a bow

beat that boy!

I made that

it would sell for god knows how much

Me hand Gwaihir a vegtable

We farm

but I would never sell the work of my own hands

and sell it

* Gwaihir eats the vegtable

Thats because you make things for decoration, and we make them for use

you think my bow is a decoration?

* Gwaihir takes it back

you are very wrong

How often will that be used eh?

hmm... where's that crow of yours...

It's been used often, I'm not the sissified court elf you seem to think me

You think you could kill Crow and get away with it?

I don't plan to, it's done nothing wrong to me, (I take care of nature), but who'd stop me?

yeah that why you shoot things from far away instead of fighting them like an honorable warrior

like a fool you mean

Like a fighter

you wouldn't understand its a human thing

I don't NEED to get close because I can get my point across from father

however, I do have a sword

I'm not bad with it, though not a master

Why not, you have SOOOOO long to learn, maybe If you'd get your high and mighty head out of the clouds, you'd learn a thing or two

Boy, I've spent years sufferign out in the grit, what do you know of life?

I don't have to waste my time talking to a lowling like you

*** Nyyark has quit IRC (Quit (Nyyark storms off))

Fool human!

*laughs*

 

----------

I want to be page 93 of Pineapples, the Avian Crows-Nyyark

[Bhurin]

Hmm...

 

A most interesting discussion...

The relative merits between Elves and Humans...

 

An endless debate, really. As lengthy and enduring as the physical duration of elves, and as complex and powerful as human passion.

 

Though a worthy topic, by any definition of the phrase, I believe both of you somewhat missed a certain... Elequence, in your words.

 

First off, Gwaihir, let me start off with what will undoubtedly turn into a long rambling of my own observations, by saying that, automatically, you are predisposed to a certain disadvantage. The elements of your society and race are very foreign indeed to the minds of humans, and henceforth cannot really express fully the importance of your race's advantages.

 

I am, of course, talking about your immortality.

 

Immediately, it is a concept beyond the comprehension of mortal man. Think about it for a moment. Man, within his own society and right, has attached certain faiths and ideals to qualities such as that; normally attributing said qualities to the divine or greater beings. When they observe, amoung themselves no less, beings of such obvious beauty that effectively can live forever, it can be very confusing and upsetting.

 

You are, after all, not Gods. I doubt any Elf or Drow would make the blasphemous err to refer to themself as one. However, there you stand; and there you do not age. Beautiful forever...

 

Henceforth, men will be men, and fear what they cannot fully understand.

 

Now, to comment on your discussion on the beauty of both races, history, unfortunately, is against you both.

 

It is known to all who observe the fundamentals laid forth by our Lord and Master, Tolkein (May his Words resonate for all time) that elven beauty is, without doubt or recourse, almost sublime. The Lady of the Wood's beauty is very renowned indeed, as any who have heard of Lothlorien and had pleasure to dwell there will attest. However, I cannot agree with you that humans do not possess incredible beauty of their own.

 

For instance, I never heard of the Lady of the Wood launching a thousand ships with the beauty of her face alone. Mortal humans also have legends of refined beauty. Helen of Troy, foster daughter of King Tyndareus, was told to have such incredible beauty that all the world knew her as the greatest. Aphrodite, Goddess of Love and Mistress of femininity, was even told to have taught Helen the very elements of love and beauty, henceforth making her the most beautiful creature to ever be born to the Mortal Plane.

 

Of course, as long as we discuss beauty, I might add that both of you lose when compared to Nymphs, whose very beauty will kill a man... (Rumors say, from loss of blood )

 

And, also remember that no one can comment on the collective thoughts of both races. There are, afterall, HALF-elves (or half-humans, if you prefer) alive and breathing under the sun.

 

Besides, Gwaihir, are you saying that the Humans possess no beauty or grace in the things they do? Is there no beauty in the tilling of land?

 

It is true that the very language Elves speak is melodious, and even mesmerizing to the unwary. (I could never get the accent quite right), and that, compared to the lanky, almost clumsy posture of the humans, elves do all things with woodland grace and dexterity.

 

Still, to me, the down-and-dirty grace of a human farmer, or the almost eccentric refinements humans take in their nobility is both attractive and pleasing.

 

In comparing song or verse, I must admit that the elves hold sway for me. The elven tounge is almost tragically beautiful, and Elven Bards have become so good at their craft that human word-smiths seem as jesters before them.

 

Still, the humans have many advantages in this field. First of all, know that the aspect of comedy is one well forged by the humans. Some know and understand the subltites of comedy or interpretive dance.

 

And please, Gods willing, remember this: The Elves are master of the harp, lyre, and lute; but Gwaihir, have you ever heard the humans gathered in Choir?

 

I have never heard or seen an Elven choir in my travels, but I have seen human ones. And, if you have not heard or see one in life, seek one out.

 

I have never wept at music until I was before what could only seem an endless infinity of power, all joined in praise of God or the wonders of art. Hundreds, even thousands of Men, women and children, acting as one voice. For one purpose. It is a glorious thing... A Terribly beautiful, and humbling experience...

 

Now, for the unfortunate aspects of war.

 

As far as the craft of war goes, Elves seem to be predominant. Elven steel, and carved weaponry more than rival any work that could be done by man. Or do they? I'm afraid most everyone is predisposed to a very bias frame of mind, as the quality of elven ware is never low; and, quite commonly, that is the oppostie case of humans.

 

But before one can dismiss their work, one must take into account ALL their achievements.

 

I have heard tell of stories of human smiths who can take regluar steel - not the Gold of Moria, mind you, as Elves are quite famous for - but normal steel smithed from iron, and forged into blades of incredible power. So sharp are these blades, it is said, that one can take a slip of silk, toss it into the air, and slit it by allowing it to drape gently over the blade. So sharp, that they can cleave through iron-root trees; and so quickly so, that they suspend in air momentarily before sliding along their severed parts.

 

The humans' technique is told to involve folding the metal over and over; sometimes a single blade being passed down to new generations of their offspring before one can be finished. Techniques more art than anything.

 

My final comment pertaining to war is this, as I would rather not dwell upon it. The Elves are fearsome and deadly warriors, there is not a doubt in my mind that would say otherwise. (I would rather stare down the barrel of an Aquebus than an arrow held by elven hands).

 

But no one, not a creature in the world, can compare to the warfare of humans. Perhaps their skill is not reknowned, but I have heard of Human tacticians diabolically clever, and willing to sacrifice country-men as cattle to obtain their objectives. It is their more potent greed, you see, that drives them in this field. No creature, not orc, dwarf, or goblin can compare to the purity of human greed.

 

It is said that it is this greed that allows the humans to reach such high supremacy in their fields of interest. (As, according to the rules and Fundamentals laid forth by the Company known as TSR - May their influence stretch to all things- that within the confines of a D&D universe, only humans can excel to any level they wish to, as well as switch to any class, without restriciton. (With the exception of Half-elves being bards.) That is a fundamental rule, and one of the human's greatest advantages.)

 

Finally, there is the aspect of straight combat.

 

Whether tis' nobler in the heart to stand ground upon the field before thine enemy and do battle with digit and limb provided by Maker; or to slip as shadows within the cloak of nature, as all warriors and creatures of the woods, and strike at the enemy like a storm. Unstoppable and powerful.

 

I'm afraid that I cannot discern a side or base of reasoning on this one. This is based solely on the cultures of Men and Elves, as I know of individuals from both races that prove the opposite. I've seen a human notch and fire an arrow with such form as to split the arrow of his competitor at five hundreds yards. I have also seen Elves march upon the field of battle, swords in hand, and fear cast out like so much rubbish.

 

Both sides can both prove and discount this area of the arguement. Sorry, but I can be of no help here.

 

Finally, last but not least, please remember that the fundamentals of both races, for some reason, seem to differ within contexts to different lands.

 

Under the laws of Tolkein (May he watch upon us from the Havens of his own creation), elves are exactly as you say they are. Nimble, beautiful, endearing; as well as fearsome foes and masters of the written word or spoken verse.

 

However, under the laws of Terry Pratchet (Creator of the Disc-world, and a very noteworthy bard, may his wit never cease to flow), elves are condescending, arrogent, somewhat petty aristocrates that can neither sing nor forge their own music, and generally are pains in the neck.

 

And, under the apprenticeship of one Christopher Cringle (The Santa Claus, ruler of the North Pole, rider of the lighter-than-air sleigh, able to squeeze into small spaces despite a massive girth, and other wise Saint and generous guy), elves are three foot tall craftsmen, who specialize in toys and wear jingly shoes and keep his production plant going.

 

(Though, personally, I believe that, in fact, they are Gnomes, who fit this description much better than Elves according to the rules laid forth by TSR, May their Books always be in print).

 

Well, that's that. I thought this post was going to get rather long. I hope I haven't seen one sided, Gwaihir, as I agree very much so with a lot of what you said. I just wanted to convey both sides of the arguement, as I threw in my own observations and opinions.

 

Besides, there are even better races out there, with cooler advantages.

 

Bhurin stretches his arms, allowing his wings to do the same, before yawning and smiling

 

Right, well, that should just abot do'er. I hope I haven't antagonized anyone...

 

Bhurin looks at the Guild full of Elves and Half-Elves.

 

After all, not all of us have the patience of elves...

 

But I'm sure, deep down, all of us are, at least in some way or another, a little human...

 

Good day all.

[Guest Minta Rose]

No one but a human, a glorious and demented human, would pinion life and love upon something that never existed outside the undrugged vapors of their own brain-humors. They wheel in unreality like eagles and their flesh is gallows meat and it's all the same motion. The winner is merely immoral and the loser illegal. Laws and morals first existed inside someone's mind. Follow the mind and the laws of flesh constrain you. Winking dichotomy and ours alone, human creatures. When we twisted the worlds we created something new. Can anyone else create?

[The Portrait of Zool]

Ah, beauty, is it not really the mana of the universe? Does it not resonate from a true turned phrase? Does it not flow from the voices of these halls with a ready ease and impeccable aim?

 

Isn't it's creation our greatest accomplishment, and it's complete lack our sorryest failure?

 

Ah, beauty. That is the voice of God. That is the morality and the law.

 

~Zool~

Ancient, The Pen is Mightier than the Sword.

Bard of Terra, Patron Saint of Aspiring Bards.

Elder than dirt, more foolish than a jester, able to trip over the smallest logic in a single step. It's... Oh, you know.

[Gwaihir]

Bhurin, beware of too much harmony. That way lies sterility, a death that even an elf can know well. ----------

I want to be page 93 of Pineapples, the Avian Crows-Nyyark

[Orlan]

I like pie.

[Bhurin]

Just looking for another opporutnity to run off my mouth.

 

Bhurin looks at Orlan.

 

I like Pie too.

 

And cheese cake. Mmmm... Cheese cake....

[The Portrait of Zool]

Beautiful cheese cake... and HAM SANDWICHES, Mmmmm!.

 

*Zool looks at Gwaihir*

 

"Too much harmony? LOL, whatever made you think that was possible?"

 

 

~Zool~

Ancient, The Pen is Mightier than the Sword.

Bard of Terra, Patron Saint of Aspiring Bards.

Elder than dirt, more foolish than a jester, able to trip over the smallest logic in a single step. It's... Oh, you know.

[Gwaihir]

It's possible I think on a small scale. Take for example this topic, if you all knew that elves were better than humans, this topic would be dead... ----------

I want to be page 93 of Pineapples, the Avian Crows-Nyyark

[The Portrait of Zool]

I'm just EXALTING in the gush of harmony there...

 

 

~Zool~

Ancient, The Pen is Mightier than the Sword.

Bard of Terra, Patron Saint of Aspiring Bards.

Elder than dirt, more foolish than a jester, able to trip over the smallest logic in a single step. It's... Oh, you know.

[Peredhil]

Human tend toward action over thought, and taking the immediate solution while ignoring implications.

 

But on the other hand, Elves tend to be so in harmony, they shy from dissonance until it's nearly too late.

 

All in all, Half-Elves are prolly the all around best compromise...

 

Cake is good, if the icing isn't too sweet. Uncooked Lemon pie with graham-cracker crust is possibly my favorite, but then I haven't tried all pies. Cheesecake is good, if not too fruity.

 

Wanders away muttering

[Guest Zephryin]

Hey, don't forget about the dwarves! Nor the gnomes. You want to talk about forging and inventing, those two are THE races for doing that. I'd like to see anyone beat the craftsmanship of Dwarven armor, or the ingenuity of a Gnomish mechanized catapult.

[Peredhil]

Well, Dwarves are okay, if you like the type. Some of them aren't too bad. Gimli and Legolas got along well, if I recall, and all five Arvac were decent, although Arvac the Fourth became a cleric of Bhern Caradoc.

 

But Gnomes! You'd let them near machinery???

 

The only reason they aren't all dead is the high resistence to poisons prevents their constant drug use from killing them. And their promiscuous proclivity toward anything mammalian explains why so many have vestigal tails.

 

exits shaking his head.

[Degenero Angelus]

Everyone talks about Elves with their long lives, humans with their intense passion, dwarves with forging and gnomes inventing.

 

Everyone always forgets the TRUE superior race. (Those who know me know what I mean.)

[The Portrait of Zool]

Hmm...

 

Oompa Loompas?

 

~Zool~

Ancient, The Pen is Mightier than the Sword.

Bard of Terra, Patron Saint of Aspiring Bards.

Elder than dirt, more foolish than a jester, able to trip over the smallest logic in a single step. It's... Oh, you know.

[Bhurin]

Carnies?

 

Oh, I'm rather fond of these desserts too that they serve in Boston Pizza (a fav. restaurant of mine).

 

They're called "Chocolate Explosions", and are a heavenly mixture of cheese cake, chocolate mousse, your choice of a berry flavor syrup, smothered in wiping cream, chocolate chuncks and hail, cookie crumbs, sugar and whipping icing, a thin vanilla exterior, coupled with a milk choclate exterior and crowned with cherries.

 

It comes with a disclaimer that anyone who eats it probably will suffer several heart attacks and a stroke. (It's got like five billion calories), but it's worth it.

 

Actually, I'm rather fond of Imps myself. Sadistic and immortal... And funny.

 

Damn funny...

[Orlan]

Oompaloompa

 

A cross between a human and a dwarf. They receive a bonus of +3 to their Toughness, and a -4 to their Charisma. They also receive the racial ability of unspoken Taunt, that effects everything in line of sight.

[Guest Minta Rose]

(Tzimfemme inspects Orlan and his Arquebus of GM Inspiration.)

 

Aren't you supposed to point that doohickey the other way round?

[Orlan]

Heck no, these aren't mine....these are from Living Room Games, the guys that made Earthdawn.

 

www.lrgames.com

 

Check out the Den and Rants section....Gotta love what gaming geeks do in thier spare time

 

::Goes to clean out his loaded doohickey now::

[Nyyark]

Set to Maxwell's Silver hammer by the Beatles. (it can be downloaded at: tonycap12.tripod.com/beat...3_page.htm

 

Strawberry short Cake,

Mmm wouldn't that be great,

Right about dinner time.

Being a stupid sissy elf,

is such a Crime

 

Lock him up, Keep him there,

That will teach, that Gwaihir,

That Humans rule.

Some cheese cake would be nice too-oo-oo-oo.

 

Oh I like Chocolate Cake,

I'll eat it anytime.

 

Yum Yum Cocolate covered cake,

And lemon pie,

I wish thats would grow old,

Cause' then they would die!

[Wyvern]

Bah! Look at all this bickering over humans and elves or gnomes and dwarves and which is better... it's all nonsense! After all, everybody knows that wyverns are the greatest race in exsistence... ;p

 

First of all, on the subject of beauty... It's obvious that we wyverns are the hottest species on the planet (in more ways then one). The elves and the humans both claim to have the best looks, but let me ask you this: where are your beautifull tails and luscious crimson red scales? Or how about your marvelously sexy wings and utterly majestic claws? ... Why, when it comes to form and beauty, wyverns are the closest thing to perfection itself (perfection itself being only achieved in geld, of course...)!

 

Next, when it comes to tact and skill, it's quite clear that us wyverns reign supreme. While you elves and humans must resort to creating weapons and mining for minerals, us wyverns are far more clever... We just wait for you other races to finish your labors, and then steal it all! You'll never catch a wyvern "hard at work"... we have far too much tact for that... ;p

 

Class is another category in which wyverns remain unrivalled, simply due to the fact that worshipping geld is the very epitome of having class. It has always amazed me how humans and elves could possibly take the magnificence of geld at face value, failing to realize that it symbolizes the embodiment of perfection...

 

On a final note, humans and elves are weak creatures, bound by morals and laws. Wyverns have no such restraints... they do whatever they please whenever they feel like it. Whatever you all work hard to make, we're the ones to get the benefits through our thievery. It's no wonder, then, that wyverns are the greatest species around.

 

------------------------------

Almost a Dragon...

"My life is one big crime, I try to scheme through it." -Common, "The 6th Sense"

Owner of the Decanter of Endless Booze.

[Guest lumpenproletariat]

I never really roleplayed myself as a race, just whatever fitted (?) at the time...

 

oh, but Oompa Loompas are quite obviously superior ;p

[Lady Celes Crusader]

Ahem... I wonder what a Dragon would say if it reads what an "Almost Dragon" had just wrote.

 

As for me... Pffffft... I always think that superiority conversation are futile. Everyone have his/strenght and weakness. The world would be boring if we're all identical.

[Gwaihir]

Then, lady with too many cats you should have more fun (joke)

 

Wyverns aren't actually a race, they're a culling machine Anyone foolish enough to lose goods to a wyvern deserves it.

 

OH, poor human your greed has you caught,

For there's nothing divine about a cake,

Nothing etherial I'd admire.

 

Sings songs about the past, about heros

But for god's sake don't sing about a cake!

 

A short pleasure for tooth and jaw, that's all

It's not healthy adn can not please for long

How could you run or leap so light of foot,

when you were stuffed with sickening sugar?

 

---------

I want to be page 93 of Pineapples, the Avian Crows-Nyyark

[Nyyark]

Ask Minta