Conversations

[Guest Guido31]

(Companion thread to Possessions)

 

 

The snowflakes fell so slowly they appeared frozen in the air. The large flakes were a mere suggestion; stars still peeped down between clouds to wonder that such gentle flakes could blanket all below so completely.

 

The Visitor stood outside, peering through the window. The amber light leaking through the rough bubbly glass panes occasionally glinted on the hungry eyes hid deep back under the cowl. The cloak was tightly drawn against the cold, and both cloak and cowl were dusted with snow. The leather boots were slightly wet, and the small dell worn in the mound of snow heaped under the eaves gave testimony to how long he’d stood without, looking in.

 

He stirred slightly at the sound of a door closing distantly with a thump, but didn’t abandon his place. A shiver wracked his frame and his lips glistened for a moment as he wet them nervously.

 

He jumped a good two inches into the air when the paw landed on his shoulder, and his cloak belled around him as he spun like a cat in descent. Words lay locked behind his lips as recognized the Giant Guinea Pig standing before him, looking at him with warm liquid brown eyes under a black fedora hat. The powerfully plump body was clothed in a tailored black suit which should’ve looked silly on a giant pig but didn’t.

 

Guido showed all his sharp teeth in a smile and let his paw fall back to his side.

 

“Kinda cold out here,” Gesturing toward the window, he continued with a sharp edge behind his friendly air, “I noticed ya. Ya know, youse got a mirror effect when youse inside and its dark out here. But when da Boss is about, its my job to notice an extra shadow on da glass…

 

Guido leaned forward suddenly and peered into the cowl’s depths. His smile softened noticeably and he relaxed a big, letting his other paw withdraw from his pocket.

 

“I remember you now! Youse one dat come by to listen to da udders!”

 

Moving to stand beside the Visitor, Guido seemed unmindful of the cold, perhaps due to his natural fur coat.

 

“Youse know youse be welcome inside. They love an audience. And Da Bartender’s moniker is Guido too. Mention me and he’d slip you a drink fer free.” Guido paused expectedly, then frowned slightly as the conversational silence remained.

 

A few minutes passed. The Visitor soon had fixed his gaze on the warmth within. The sounds of music swirled up and voices lifted in song together. Guido tapped the rhythm on his pant-leg with a claw. His frown cleared slightly as his delicate hearing heard the Visitor’s breathing move in the music’s cadences.

 

“Youse know somet’in?” Guido mused aloud without taking his eyes from the action within. “I remember when da Boss first brought us here. It was terrible!”

Guido carefully ignored the start of interest from the Visitor beside him.

 

“I never forgot how it felt back den. I felt like an outsider lookin’ in. Like I had no business being around da Big Guys. I mean, I’z just a pig, and deys Bards and Poets, really big names in da biz. I likes to tell a joke now and den, but wit a Zool around, it kinda put da kibosh on my humor, youse know?

Or flirtin wit da barmaid when dere’s Orlan around… I felt like she’d hand be back my heart in rejection.”

Guido paused for a gloomy moment.

 

“It was hard, to be on da outside lookin’ in. I mean, Dey TALKED all nice, about how dey welcomed me too, for being me… But I couldn’t believe ‘em.

You might not believe it, but I’ve scribbled a poem… well, maybe a limerick. A dirty limerick, nuttin really good like Nuncio –

“You know Nun’? Dat’s my brudder, anyway, he kin write okay, but my stuff just bit cat ba-

“Erm, bellies.” The pig pauses for a moment to see if the Visitor was offended by his almost non-Polite slip, then sighed in relief and continued down memory lane.

 

“Dat was a bad time. Didn’t even know how to become a member. If I should. Wit all dem talents, why would dey want me?”

“Sure, I could apply and be an Initiate, if I didn’t walk in an act like I owned da place. Dat kinda big head act seems to ruffle da Lizard’s scales da wrong way ya knowse.”

 

“Anyway, I figured, once I was an Initiate, what was I gonna do?”

 

“Da Boss, he was pretty careful. I ‘member him saying, ‘Guido, you should post somet’in!’ and Iz said, ‘Yeah right.’

“And he says, ‘Well, when I looks at dem, I tink an Initiate means dey show talent and potatoes.’”

 

The Visitor turned to look at Guido.

“Do you mean potential?”

 

Guido waves his paw dismissively, “Yeah, whatever, you knew what da Boss meant. See? Youse smart like he is.”

 

The Visitor smiled a bitter smile and turned away again. Guido looked thoughtfully at him for a moment then turned to watch as well. Someone had gotten up to read their latest work. The thick glass prevented any words from reaching them.

 

“’Now a Page,’ Da Boss had yapped, ‘A Page in my mind should work well wit udders.’”

“Udders?” Interrupted the Visitor, “They should milk cows? I’ve wondered what arcane rules the Elders have for advancement!”

“Naw, Naw. Udders. Youse know, like a buncha people.”

“Others!”

“Yeah, udders.” Guido shook his head in disgust, “What, youse doan speak English or somethin’?”

This startled a laugh from the Visitor, who gestured Guido to continue. After a moment to make sure the Visitor wasn’t laughing at him, Guido did.

“Activity, feedback, all dats nice, but da Boss always wanted more from dis place than an audience. He wanted a family.”

“Family!” The Visitor interjected, “in a Writing Guild?”

“Yeah. His idea was dat da people behind da writing was more important den what dey wrote. And dere growth was more important den what had come before. ‘Water past a bridge doan grind toady’s wheat.’ He’d say.”

“Toady? Do you mean Today?”

"What, you got somet’ing against toads? Maybe youse right though. When da Boss gets going on dem wise sayings, I kinda zone out. Most of dem doan make no kinda sense anyway. I mean, what does it mean when someone tells you, ‘correct in private, praise in public, my Pigs, dats one reason for a Critic’s Corner.’

"Dat’s da kinda dumb t’inking he gets. I mean, if dey so special dey can’t take da trute, why dey writin’? Dey gonna get slammed a lot. Gotta get tough if youse plan on being a writer I t’ink.”

 

Guido shivered dramatically, flinging snow about.

 

“Say Bud, what say you and I continue dis inside in a warm corner?”

 

He heads toward the door.

[Guest Guido31]

Pausing in the Mud Room, Guido scraped the slush and soil from his patent leather shoes and brushed the snow from his tuxedo.

Turning to the Visitor, he deftly brushed the snow from his clothes. Noting the white-knuckled grip on the cloak, he didn't even ask if the Visitor wanted to hang it on the rack.

 

"Let's go get youse a warm corner and a warm drink."

 

Guido led the way into the Cabaret, signing to Guido the bartender for two of his usual.

[Guest Nuncio31]

Nuncio leaned in apparent ease against the panelled wall, idly cleaning his claws with a shiv.

 

It'd been a while since Guido had gone outside and he was becoming concerned.

Not that Guido would be in trouble. There was a chance, though, that he'd found some action and was too selfish to share.

 

With a sigh, he glanced down to where Peredhil sat frowning in concentration over a book marked 'Perl scripting in HP-UX 11.00' He knew the Boss, lacking 10K geld, was supposed to be writing his own scripts to automate a decidedly interactive process, but from his vantage place he could see print outs of Falcon, Excedrin, and Rashad's latest works hidden in the open book.

A print out of Darkness Rising glared its silent accusation at Peredhil, who steadfastly ignored it.

Nuncio smiled to himself. He knew how much unfinished projects bothered his Boss.

 

He straightened with a grunt as his errant brother entered, followed by a cloaked and cowled figure. With yet another sigh, this one of disappointment, he watched Guido signal Guido for a couple of Hot Cocoas.

 

He'd used his left hand and small claws - that meant he felt the stranger wasn't a threat and he'd found a way to frisk him.

 

Elladan padded in and slid through the room, working the crowd with his easy smile and quick wit. Slipping into a chair with his back to the wall at his father's table, he nodded up to Nuncio and winked.

 

Nuncio nodded back and pointed to his brother. When 'Dan nodded again, he began to move over to join Guido.

 

Morosely he reflected on the fact that Peredhil had two trained motivated Guinea Pig bodyguards which he needed as much as a boar needs teats.

 

Still, it was better to belong somewhere than nowhere at all.

[Guest Guido31]

Guido sighed in pleasure as he sat in his oversized chair. the Visitor settled carefully with his back to the wall opposite him, and scanned the room habitually before relaxing.

 

The Barmaid brought two steaming mugs topped with whipped cream and a cherry, smiled and winked at Guido, and then sauntered off with a saucy jiggle of hips.

 

The Visitor looked dubiously at the chipped ceramic mug in front of him. It's rosy-cheeked Santa smiled a perpetual grin back at him.

 

"Dis is prime Angel Chocolate!" [ Guido announced happily, before quaffing deeply. When at last he lowered the stein, the whipped cream clinging to his whiskers made him look clownish indeed.

 

"Aaah!" Guido neatly cleaned his whiskers with a surprisingly pink tongue. "AoA really knows how ta do Chocolate! Drink up... Dat's outta Orlan's private stock! As the visitor took a tentative sip, followed by a moan and a deep burning swallow Guido continued expansively, "I TOLD youse da bartender wussa friend of mine!"

 

Guido fell silent as he watched Elladan laugh his way across the room. The Visitor stirred slightly watching the pig.

 

"Eh? Oh, sorry. Dat's Elladan - he's one a da Boss' boys." Guido shook himself slightly and turned back to the Visitor.

"Oh yeah, he's nice enough fer a freak."

[Guest Nuncio31]

Nuncio looked longingly at his brother's chocolate. With a mental shrug he made his decision. Here in the Cabaret, with Elladan by his side, Peredhil was not likely to come to harm.

 

He picked up a Santa mug of hot chocolate at the bar as he headed over to join the pair.

 

Walking up behind Guido, he winced as he heard him describe Elladan as a freak.

 

"He is NOT a freak!" Nuncio whispered furiously at his twin, with a nervious glance over his shoulder. Elladan was still smiling and watching the crowd.

Which meant nothing of course, Elladan was ALWAYS smiling and watching the crowd.

Sitting down with his back to the room, Nuncio frowned quellingly at his brother's snort.

 

"When I asked the Big P' 'bout him, he said, and I quote, 'you say sociopath like it's a bad thing.'" Nuncio shook his head and Guido grinned viciously. "The Boss said not to worry. As long as everyone did the right thing, 'Dan was just fine. You have to admit, his paranoia and skills made him a great Warleader for the Boss in Archmage, and everywhere else we've been."

 

Guido laughed softly.

"Like I said, a freak. Anybody dat kills wit'out warning or even blinkin' is a freak. Of course da Boss would say dat."

"Because he's his son?" Asked the Visitor, nerviously keeping an eye on the laughing elf.

"Naw," replied Guido, while Nuncio looked startled at the very idea. "Da Boss has da same standard fer e'rybody. It's cause da Boss is kinda kooky hisself. He acts like e'rybody's gonna be nice if'n he loves 'em up. Nice!" Guido snorted in disgust.

 

Nuncio stared at his brother silently. Guido finally continued relunctantly, "Well okay. So it usually works dat way. But it's just not natural! People aren't good like dat!"

 

"Au Contrair Brother dear." Nuncio corrected, "For some reason, for him, they usually are." He shrugged and continued haltingly. "He... He seems to trust beyond reason. He forgives if you learn and try, and doesn't hold past against you. How many people let you outlive your past and really change?"

 

"Yeah, but youse gotta change. 'Member dat guy dat t'ought da Boss was a chump? Boss picks up a swindle better den anybody I e'er seen."

 

"Polite doesn't mean ignorant. And he's innocent only by choice." Both Guinea Pigs stopped; Nuncio turned to look back at the room. The Visitor grew nervious as the scanned the room, clutching his mug tensely.

 

"I don't know. Something's wrong." Nuncio replied to the Visitor. "Don't worry, you're safe."

 

The Visitor noticed Elladan had stopped talking and appeared even more relaxed than ever.

 

Nuncio and Guido exchanged glances as Elrohir entered quickly, stopped, and sauntered casually over to Peredhil. Even from here the Pigs and the Visitor could see the momentary glitter in Elladan's eyes as a lazy smile greeted his twin.

 

Without a word, the Bodyguards crossed over to Peredhil's table; the Visitor trailed after unnoticed.

[Guest Elladan31]

Elladan sat watching the Pigs contemptuously. Their need for approval made them weak. He noted and cataloged the weaknesses of everyone in the room, always on guard in case they decided to attack he or his father.

 

He never questioned his absolute need to protect his father, nor had time to wonder when all emotions had gone cold. He knew he was much stronger. All life was clear, every thing had a reason.

 

Elrohir entered and headed toward them. He noted that El's balance was off again. Time to take him back into the practice ring. He was upset again. Misplaced poem?

 

He shifted slightly to keep the room in view and align his wrist sheath with the stranger creeping along behind the so-called Bodyguards approaching the table.

 

His brother was UPSET. This might be interesting after all...

[Guest Elrohir31]

Elrohir entered the Cabaret, soaking in the warmth of the room with a sigh.

Gathering himself, he spied Elrond studying at the table and headed that way.

 

How could he get rid of his Dad and Elladan without them going back to their chambers?

 

As he approached the table, a chance remark overheard triggered his thoughts.

 

He wished Elladan wasn't there. 'Dan could read him far too well. He'd need to bait this carefully.

 

"Hey Dad! Remember how Seordcast and Ambar were busts?"

 

Elrond looked up from his book and let a smile warm his eyes. He made an encouraging sound for Elrohir to continue.

 

"Well guess what. Archmage is having one last free reset." As his father started to protest, he hurried on. "I know you don't have time to do it right, but I was thinking, Time to get Elladan, he thought silently as he continued smoothly, "That you could do the Search like you'd wanted to do before. You remember? Send Archers to Quest for the Lost Ring? Encourage a bit of Role Playing and fun?"

 

Elladan's smile widened at the thought of getting to attack rather than endless counters. Elrohir met his glance and knew Elladan understood something was Up, but was willing to be distracted. It had been a while since he'd killed.

 

"It's just starting, you should go now - you might be able to get a hero or two if you hit the Tavern before they're all hired away." He watched Peredhil waver, torn between responsibility and nostalgia. "Come on, you need to schedule in some relaxation too!"

 

With an encouraging smile, he watched Peredhil decide. He gathered his book and papers as Elladan summoned a Portal with a Word.

Elrohir flinched slightly at the blast of power, perfectly controlled. Elladan often tested his Will with little acts like that.

The Portal closed as the Pigs arrived too late.

 

"Wassup?" Queried Guido, brow furrowed with worry.

 

"Someone stole Mom's picture from Dad's Room."

 

The Pigs blanched under their fur as Elrohir's words hit.

 

"Good move getting rid of Elladan!" Exclaimed Nuncio.

 

"No..." Replied Elrohir, looking at the space where his family had disappeared. "Good thing getting rid of Dad." Looking at the Pigs, he continued.

 

"We HAVE to find that picture before he returns." At the Pig's blank looks, he explained carefully. "He's Polite for a reason. It covers a terrible potential for rage. Dad fought in all three Ages of our home world." Seeing they still didn't understand, he ventured further.

 

"How long can someone suffer under the delicate hand of an enraged empathic Healer?"

[Guest Nuncio31]

Nuncio looked at the normally calm Elrohir and shook his head.

 

"I just don't see it. I've seen the Boss angry, I've seen him hurt. I've seen him on the edge a number of times. But he never ACTS on it.

He holds himself to a higher standard than anyone I've ever seen."

 

Guido nodded agreement.

"Yeah, youse is t'inkin' 'bout da old Dad, not da one we know. Hese not comfy to be around - derse no excuses not to do the 'Right T'ing' cause dat's his standard."

Guido and Nuncio nodded to one another as Guido continued.

"I'd die for him in a heartbeat, but I wouldn't want to be da Boss. Too rigid. It's too much fun to be naughty sometimes!"

 

Elrohir calmed down slightly and began to nod.

"There may be something to what you say...

But it would hurt Dad to the core."

 

Nuncio hated to be the reminder, but felt he should interject here.

"Of course, I discussed with your brother why he had no locks on his doors." Elrohir frowned and Guido shivered. The Visitor listened quietly, taking it all in. "He laughed and said it didn't matter if something was stolen from him.

When I asked why, he said the easiest way to find a thief was to kill everyone and then search the bodies. Saved on apologies too."

 

They all fell silent.

 

The Visitor interrupted after a moment.

"He WAS laughing, so he wasn't serious, right?"

 

The just looked at the cloaked and cowled figure pityingly.

 

"Well, he couldn't possibly kill everyone!"

 

The thought seemed to cheer the three.

 

"I think," Elrohir said consideringly, "We'd better start looking for Mom's picture...

[Guest Elrohir31]

Elrohir rubbed his hands together briskly.

 

"Nuncio, you head to the garden. Guido, you'd better go with him. I'm going to go back to our rooms and use a few spells we've picked up over the travels to look around."

 

Elrohir turned to the Visitor and bowed.

 

"Feel free to mingle here. I deeply regret that we must leave you to your own devices, but if you care to listen you'll hear much that might please you."

 

He points to the door leading to the Recruiting Office.

 

"On the other side of that door is a short hallway, then another door. Inside that door is the Recruiting Suite. If you wish to apply for membership here, that's where you'd do it. Make sure you read the sticky note on the bulletin board."

 

Guido grins at the Visitor.

"Yep. Youse doan wanna be too diff'rent from da rest of da unique peoples. Dey might not like it." He subsides when Nuncio's elbow expertly and viciously digs into Guido's ribs.

 

"OOOPH! I meanz, enjoy youse self around here. Deys a great bunch of guys if you do t'ings dere way."

 

Nuncio and Elrohir glare at Guido.

 

"Hey! Time fer da Garden, eh?" Guido smiles weakly and moves off.

[Guest Elladan31]

Portalling back into the Pen, Elladan moved smoothly through the halls.

 

"Ninjas?" He stopped to consider dancing Ninjas, but decided they were of no importance to him.

 

"Maybe they'll kill some of the deadwood around here."

 

Entering the Cabaret, he saw none of the people for which he was looking, but the Stranger was still there. Working the crowd, he slipped through to talk to him.

 

"Yo, where'd the Pigs go?"

 

The Visitor visibly started. Elladan noted the dialated eyes, sudden pallor and increased pulse with interest. Time to remind Certain People not to tell tales about him. Noting the base rhythms of the Visitor's body, he matched breathing and pulse, and set about bringing him down. He ignored the small talk coming from his own mouth as he focused on the patterns and rhythms of other other.

A few moments later, he had him relaxed enough to pump for information.

 

"... and so that's how Guido learned NOT to try a hot-foot fire spell on Elrohir" Elladan concluded with a merry laugh.

 

"Say, where did everyone go. I wanted to share my news with them." The Visitor raised an inquisitive brow. "Dad's been co-opted by the Angels of Apocalyse over in that game - no Role Playing Ring Search this final reset. Instead, I'll get to do some actual fighting. I thought the others should know."

 

Listening to the Visitor's reply, Elladan nodded.

"The Garden and the Suite eh. Thanks! Have a hot chocolate on me. Well... not ON me!" He winked outrageously and the Visitor laughed. He considered killing him for being easy, but decided living as an idiot would be a greater punishment.

 

Moving away, he scanned the fragments of conversation from the others in the Cabaret he'd automatically filed but not brought into focus.

There was a thief in the Pen. The Pigs were at the Garden, and Elrohir had transparently wanted him out of the Pen, and was up in the Suite.

 

Elladan smiled and cracked several jokes, pausing to dance with one of the Initiates for a few steps happily.

 

He felt content. Someone was going to pay for this...

[Peredhil]

Peredhil wandered in, shaking off the cold with a shiver. After a couple of thousand years, even good healings didn't affect the reactions of repeatedly broken bones to cold.

 

Pausing in the doorway to the Cabaret, he noted that the crowd was light tonight. Ozymandias was arguing with the Portrait of Zool while everyone listened appreciatively to the latest Initiate declaim their work.

 

Here and there, a guest or two sat hunched in on themself, listening with a hungry look at the feast of words and the warm feedback that rolled back.

 

Spying a familiar face, Peredhil moved toward the Visitor.

 

"Well hello!" Elrond pulled out a chair and sat. The bar(shield)maiden deftly dropped off his favorite drink enroute to another table. Elrond's tips were legendary and ensured good service where ever he habitually went.

 

"Really? So they're all in the Keep some where?"

 

"Oh, I'm back for the nonce. Finished researching and wanted to give Elladan a 'heads up'."

 

"Well good. I'm pleased to hear they're treating you well. You should take a stroll around."

 

"Well of course you're welcome." Elrond gestured past a broken turnstile, " Down that hallway is the recruiting center. It's function has slipped a bit - they're doing Role Playing in there too."

 

"Through that corridor is the Banquet Room, a feast of words in every ear. It was a mixture, but of late it's mostly poetry."

Turning and pointing to a door beside the bar, "Over that way is the Conservatory, where the Guided Play goes on."

 

"What?"

 

With a smile, Peredhil stood and gestured to a small door on the other side of the long bar.

"Men, Women, and Other, all right through that door. Please clean up after yourself, and don't forget to wash your hands!"

[Guest Guido31]

Guido could tell when the Visitor realized he was at end of the bar talking with the bartender. The double-take was obvious. There was no shame, Porcelain's poetry had caused more than a visitor to loose track of time and place before. And some of Rahsash was no slacker either. Even he and the bartender had had to stop and laugh at Bhurin's send-off of Dr. Seuss.

Most importantly, in the confusion, they'd gotten Zool's Portrait moved back to the Hallway in which it usually hung, and had put up an illusionary copy. He wasn't sure it would work, but Elrohir had seemed sure it should be tried, even to providing the illusion.

 

He sipped his water and watched the Visitor work his way through crowd toward them.

 

"Yeah?" replied the big Pig and the Bartender together. They looked at each other and laughed, quickly joined by the Visitor.

"Sorry," Guido continued, "Both of us are called Guido." He was pleased to see the Visitor looking much more relaxed than before.

 

"Naw, youse not int'rupting. Whatcha want? Have a drink?" He gestured Bartender-Guido to get another drink for the Visitor, then slowly sat erect as he heard what he was saying.

 

"Da Boss is back? Here?" He looked around. "Funny, I didn't feel him come back." Hearing a confirmation from the Bartender, he shook his head slowly. His eyes went slightly out of focus for a moment and he came back to himself.

 

"Naw, its s'okay. Nuncio's wit him. But sumbody blocked me..." He shook himself and focused on what the Visitor was saying.

 

"Doan worry 'bout it. I ain't never understood Tzimfemme neither. Nuncio t'inks she's the greatest t'ing since a rifled barrel. He says she's precise." He sipped his ice water for a moment.

 

"I doan drink sugar or caffeine when I'm on. It can make yer paw shake." He nodded his head. "Yeah, da Lizard is pretty funny, but getting more and more powerful. Doan fergit, heese da first one most Initiates even talk to." He nodded again. "Doan worry 'bout tat. Orlan don't say much. Heese not ignoring youse. Heese jist dat way. Da Boss said heese like youse conscious, youse only hear from him when youse off-track." Guido frowned. "What's dis? Elder quiz time?"

 

"Oh, well, I wouldn't worry too much 'bout it. First ting is to become Initiate. Nobody's sure what comes after dat, so it's not youse."

 

Guido turned and scanned the room carefully, even rising on his stool to look behind the bar.

 

"Where? When? Which way did 'Dan go?"

 

"I dint say psychopath, dat would mean heese completely selfish, and dint know right from wrong. I said freak and da Boss said sociopath. He knows right from wrong, he just doan care."

 

"Yeah yeah, he can charm birds from trees and gophers from der burrow too. I'm glad youse like him. I like him too, when he doan scare pellets from me."

 

"Okay, it's like dis. Before weese joined up, dey all had travelled a buncha places. Runequest, Dragonquest, Traveller, Met'morphis Alpha, ChivnSorcery, Paranoia, Arduin, Greyhawk, some kinda Riftworld, lotsa lotsa places. Dey gotta our place from Fractured Fairy Tales via Champions through Albuquerque - I guess it touches a buncha places. Nuncio and me joined der, when da Boss saved us from being terminated wit extreme prejudice. Den we went took dat left turn at Albuquerque and ended up in Amber and Nuncio and I found out just what different was!

"Anyway, da point is, dey been travelling for centuries and centuries. And ev'ry place dey gone, da Boss learnt healing and enchanting, whether you call it cleric, druid, scholar, or enchanter or whatever.

"Elrohir, he always studied wit da Hats. Da magi, wizards whate'er. He started as a Ranger, like Elladan, but he got interested in da magic side when he studied wit dat Manwe Valar dude.

"'Dan, he has always always fought. Dey all got spiritually pumped livin wit da Valar, but while da Boss was hangin wit Varda and Aule, 'Dan ran wit Orome and hiz wild hunt crowd. He hunted monsters everywhere. At Ambar, he trained wit both Eric and Benedict before Corwin came back and da Boss made us all leave. Heese been fighting, like da udder two been doing der ting, for tousands of years now, in world after world.

"And DATS why I squat pellets when 'Dan is around. Dee only one he listens to is da Boss. And sometimes, it's just to make an apology..."