This Happened

[Snypiuer]

Snypiuer has a new niece, well, she's 5 and she's Snypiuer's nieces' daughter and he's only seen her a few times, but he's already her favorite!

She's a tiny, squeaky little thing. When Snypiuer picks her up, his thumbs and fingers touch. She loves to lift his beard and hide under it, she screams, "THIS IS MY FAVORITE THING!" and Snypiuer screams back, "THIS IS MY FAVORITE THING!" - Snypiuer is of the firm belief that ALL children should be raised believing that EVERY conversation should be as loud as possible!

O.K., so yesterday, far too many relatives were visiting and Snypiuer sees his new niece and she runs over to him:

Snypiuer: "WHY DIDN'T ANYBODY TELL ME YOU WERE HERE!?"

Niece: "I DON'T KNOW!" (by the way, the ENTIRE conversation, she's giggling and has her hands clenched in front of her chest and randomly bending and twisting about.)

Snypiuer: "WHERE HAVE YOU'VE BEEN!?"

Niece: "AT HOME!"

Snypiuer: "WHY DON'T YOU COME TO SEE ME MORE!?"

Niece: "I DON'T KNOW!"

Snypiuer: "IT'S BEEN LIKE THIRTY YEARS SINCE YOU WERE HERE!"

Niece: "NAH-AH!"

Snypiuer: "YEAH-HAH! HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU HAVE NOW!?"

Niece: "I DON'T HAVE KIDS! I'M A LITTLE GIRL!"

Snypiuer: "HOW!? YOU'RE, LIKE, FIFTY YEARS OLD NOW!"

Niece: "I'M FIVE!"

Snypiuer: "HOW ARE YOU JUST FIVE!? IT'S BEEN, LIKE, 90 YEARS SINCE YOU WERE HERE! WHERE DO YOU WORK!?"

Niece: "I DON'T WORK! I'M A LITTLE GIRL!"

Snypiuer: "HOW DO YOU PAY YOUR BILLS!?"

Niece: "I DON'T KNOW!"

Snypiuer: "WHAT DO YOU MEAN!? YOU'RE, LIKE, 250 YEARS OLD! YOU SHOULD KNOW BY NOW!"

Niece: "I'M FIVE!"

Snypiuer: "WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO VISIT ME AGAIN!?"

Niece: "I DON'T KNOW!"

Snypiuer: "WHY ARE YOU SO CUTE!?"

Niece: "I DON'T KNOW!"

Snypiuer: "LAST TIME YOU WERE HERE, YOU WERE THIS TALL!" (places his hand around her knee level.)

Niece: "NO!"

Snypiuer: "YES! NOW YOU'RE THIS TALL!" (places hand on her head and smushes her down a bit.)

Niece: "AHHH!!!"

Snypiuer: "NEXT TIME YOU VISIT, YOU'LL BE THIS TALL!" (picks her up over his head, close to the ceiling.)

Niece: "AHHH!!!"

Snypiuer: (gives her as tight a hug as he can without hurting her and she immediately lifts his beard and puts it over her head.) "WHY ARE YOU SO HUGGABLE!?"

Niece: "I DON'T KNOW!" (from beneath his beard.)

Snypiuer: "WANT TO GO PLAY WITH THE OTHER KIDS NOW!?"

Niece: "YES!"

Snypiuer: "O.K. THEN, YOU COME TELL ME IF YOU NEED ANYTHING, O.K.!?"

Niece: "O.K.!"

She gave Snypiuer a hug and took off to play. That was just the first conversation, the others went, pretty much, the same, with a lot of giggles, absurd questions/statements and more "I DON'T KNOW!'s" then I can count.

[Peredhil]

How could anyone not like you. You are now my favorite uncle too.

[Snypiuer]

OHHH, MANY a Snypiuer hater exists!

BACKGROUND INFO:

O.K., for those who don't know or have forgotten, Snypiuer has an older brother, a little sister and a baby sister. Don't let the titles fool you, Snypiuer's BABY sister has a 20-year-old daughter, experimental test subject num . . . wait, Snypiuer is no longer allowed to refer to his nieces and nephews as "test subjects", not to mention he's no longer allowed to USE them as test subjects, SCIENCE SUFFERS WHEN SHORT-SIGHTEDNESS AND IGNORANCE FLOURISH! 

Anyways, his brother has 3 kids; a boy and girl (both with kids of their own, a couple who have kids of THEIR own) a few years apart and then another girl around 10-years or so younger, she is the squeaky little things mom, and she also has a teenage son. Snypiuer's little sister has a son who has 2 boys around 6 and 3. His little sister ALSO has an 11-year-old daughter (SNYPIUERS' BESTEST BUDDY EVER!!!) - yeah 2 kids, 26 years apart!

ANYWAYS! Snypiuer's bestest buddy ever (the 11-year-old) has a cousin (a girl) on her father's side who is several years older. Snypiuer first met her when he ran into her and her mom at Wally World a few weeks after she was born:

Snypiuer: Is that the baby?

Mom: Yes.

Snypiuer: *Walks around cart to look at baby* Hey there, whatchya . . .

 Baby: *Stares at Snypiuer with a look that can only be described as a burning hatred, seething with the open desire to VIOLENTLY and BRUTALLY beat him to death . . . repeatedly*

Snypiuer has NO idea why this child hates him, but it was instant and deep, as if their souls have been intertwined over countless lifetimes and Snypiuer had been so cruel to her in each and every one, that the visceral hatred she has for him is imprinted, not only, in her DNA, but in the very core of her being.

Snypiuer: *To baby's mom* Umm, why does your baby want to kill me?

Mom: What!?

Snypiuer: Yeah, your child DEFINITELY wants to murder me . . . like, a LOT!

Mom: What are you talking about!!?

Snypiuer: Your . . . child . . . wants . . . to . . . kill . . . me. LOOK!

Mom: *Walks around cart to check on baby* What do you mean? She doesn't wa . . . *sees the way the baby is staring at Snypiuer* OH MY GOD! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY BABY!?

Now, this IS Wally World. People EVERYWHERE! So Snypiuer IMMEDIATELY turns into John "Bluto" Blutarsky attempting to sneak a horse into Dean Wormer's office and extradites himself from the immediate vicinity of said child and mother.

This child has Never cried when Snypiuer's around. She has NEVER shown ANY fear around Snypiuer. She has ONLY shown a disdain and DEEEEEEP "unlike" of Snypiuer who, by-the-way, has been NOTHING but nice and friendly to this child EVERY SINGLE TIME they have come in contact! To THIS day, she avoids being around Snypiuer and has NEVER explained to anyone the basis for her aversion to Snypiuer!

Well, that's one example. Someday, Snypiuer will explain how EVERY female in Snypiuer's life comes to the conclusion that they need to beat him. Snypiuer has no idea why, they just do.

[Harmonious_Echos]

Sometimes.... it's as simple as a facial feature. I have a smallish creature child who also stares with deep and disturbingly intense dislike at certain people, for no apparent reason. I find it highly amusing, myself, and hope they are not offended by my child's apparent need to express dark and dangerous desires through murderous gazes...then again, sometimes people just LOOK FUNNY. I find many people do, myself included. 
😆🤣