Insight

[Snypiuer]

Envision.

If you can.

Standing upon the ledge of the tallest building you can conceive of.

Of wanting.

Yearning.

To leap off that ledge.

To feel the wind speed past you as you plummet.

To feel your heart beat faster.

And faster.

Your stomach tied in knots.

Every muscle tense.

Every nerve singing.

Burning with an electrical fire.

Adrenaline coursing through your body.

Filling you with abject fear.

And thrilling excitement.

As you race headlong towards an assured fate.

Yet.

You do not take that step.

Not out of fear.

Or the lack of will.

But.

Because you know.

You know.

With a deep.

Firmly rooted.

Furtive.

Sadness.

That if you were to leap.

Take that step.

You'd simply float away.

Like a gossamer web upon the wind.

This.

This is the nature of my madness.

How I long to languish within the visions which invade my reality.

To laugh with.

To obey.

The voices that whisper to me.

That shout out my names.

Challenging me.

Cajoling me.

Coercing me.

How I wish I could accept them as real.

To revel in complete.

Detached.

Irresponsible.

Freedom.

Oblivious to all consequences.

Ramifications.

Or aftermath.

I hunger for the sweet embrace of their promised utter madness.

Instead of knowing.

With absolute clarity.

They are naught but illusion.

Aberrations contrived by some unknown mechanic.

Gone awry.

Somewhere within my psyche.

My one fear.

The aberrations will.

One day.

Become all.

All I see.

All I hear.

And even then.

Even then.

I will know them for what they truly are.

Precisely.

Incontrovertibly.

If you can understand this.

You can begin to understand how an atheist.

Faithless.

Believes he is God.

All the while knowing.

Knowing.

Such belief.

Is pure.

Complete.

Absolute insanity.

Then again.

Who else.

But God.

Could do so.