She's your best friend

[Peredhil]

Her complexion each morning is fresh without make-up

(washed clean by the tears of the night).

She showers a lovingly bright smile on all she meets

(a shield against showing the pains they don't want to know).

She gives the best advice a friend can give

(but cannot take it herself because she's not worthy)

She's the one you call at any hour knowing she'll be there

(because her sleep isn't worth your consideration)

She's the one who is always strong

(if she is ever weak, she may break forever)

She's the one you take for granted, the one who has always been there, the one who will always be

(neglected unless needed, disrespected despite words of thanks, always the friend).

[James Crow]

This is just.....depressingly beautiful. Thanks for writing it, for doing so you have given praise to those who won't (but should) give it to themselves.

[Harmonious_Echos]

Hooray for the obsessive perfectionista! Poor girl needs a reality check...and a good vacation. She sounds a lot like me. LOL

[Harmonious_Echos]

Also, in response; the view from the perfectionista's side...

 

Pass me by

 

You who are my friend,

(You make me laugh, on days that are gray

If you would stay my friend,

(When you see me, I will smile)

Don't pause—

Don't stop or look deep into my eyes

Don't pause

Don't try to lift the mask on my face

Because if you look beneath

You will not see anything at all,

I am a hollow, empty, breathless shell,

Of what I used to be, in

The days when I was truly me..

You who are my friend,

(A bright flower in the desert of life),

If you would stay my friend

Don't—don't pause—

Pass me by

[reverie]

Ooooo, you're on to something, but let's make it even more haunting and damning to the persona.

 

Separate out the lines: 1,3,5,7, 9 and let them float, non-punctuated, like the disembodied intro fluff of a hallmark or heartwarming retail commercial. Then heighten the shift in line 11, by making it the hinge point of the poem, when things turn dark. Condense the culled out even lines together for a more haunting ending.

 

 

 

Her complexion each morning is fresh without make-up

 

She showers a lovingly bright smile on all she meets

 

She gives the best advice a friend can give

 

She's the one you call at any hour knowing she'll be there

 

She's the one who is always strong

 

She's the one you take for granted,

the one who has always been there,

the one who will always be:

 

Neglected unless needed,

disrespected,

despite words of thanks.

 

Always the friend, washed clean by the tears of the night.

A shield against the showing of pain you do not want to know,

but cannot take, because she is not worth your consideration.

 

If she is ever weak, she may break forever.

[Peredhil]

That's MUCH better. I never played with formatting, much.

[Snypiuer]

Been wanting to say how much I like this, but EVERY time I come to it, I get a song stuck in my head:

 

People let me tell you 'bout my best friend

He's a warm-hearted person who'll love me to the end

People let me tell you 'bout my best friend

He's a . . .

 

ARGHHH!!!! THERE IT IS!!! GET IT OUT!!! GET IT OUT!!!!