Azuran Posted July 27, 2012 Report Posted July 27, 2012 Silence for so long But fond memories return Never gone for good Quote
Snypiuer Posted August 1, 2012 Report Posted August 1, 2012 Snypiuer notices the sticky note. Smiles. Pulls out a slightly larger sticky note and pen. After making some quick markings on it, he puts the pen away and pulls out a pair of scissors and begins cutting it. He places the larger sticky note over Azuran's so that it now appears to have a quite elegant frame. Gently pats it to make sure it's secure and softly says, "There". Smiles again and wistfully continues walking the Pens' sleepy halls. Quote
reverie Posted November 24, 2012 Report Posted November 24, 2012 (edited) Agreed. But have you considered this? Silence for so long But fond memories return Never gone for good * * * cheers, rev... Edited November 24, 2012 by reverie Quote
Azuran Posted November 27, 2012 Author Report Posted November 27, 2012 I must confess that I had not considered that I actually wasn't too impressed with "gone for good" myself, but was trying to fit something into a 5-7-5 hikou that really captured the hope that memories and the people tied to them are always there. Not that they're simply "never gone" but that despite fading with time, they can always come back. There should be a better final line that captures all of this while keeping 5 syllables...I just don't know what it is yet! Quote
Harmonious_Echos Posted December 18, 2012 Report Posted December 18, 2012 how about "untouched yet alive"? Personally I like the way it is, too--I don't think that 'gone for good' sounds awkward at all. Quote
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