James Crow Posted February 13, 2011 Report Posted February 13, 2011 (edited) I would like to be very clear, Let us start off slow. Open your heart. Very good. Everything will be alright, Year after year. Open your mind now. "U" is a letter and your only clue. Edited February 13, 2011 by James Crow
James Crow Posted February 13, 2011 Author Report Posted February 13, 2011 (edited) This is not the poem I wanted to post next, but the other one is giving me problems and then I got sick. Next thing I know it is almost Febuary 14th!!! I was going to post this one though so here it is. I made the hiden meaning of this poem easy to find. Hope you like it. I would also like to share my first true poem, the one that I will never get out of my head and the father to all my others, I wrote it around this time many years ago and I would like to share it now. ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ Along time ago, We gave each other a rose. The rose was fake, But the real slice of the cake, It was given with a love that we shared. ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ There you go and Happy Valentine's Day (early)☺ Edited February 14, 2011 by James Crow
Mardrax Posted February 14, 2011 Report Posted February 14, 2011 I can't really give this the time it deserves right now, and don't think I have to, really. Both good reads. The second one feels deep somehow. Good work there. I also like how the first sets a tone that's very much... like a conversation, I guess, but bordering on a "see? There really aren't any monsters under the bed" kind of feel, for me anyway. Good stuff as well One note of criticism though: don't explain the joke. (Disclaimer: tvtropes will ruin your life) Most of the time, a point brought across subtly will have far more impact than one brought with bravado, and feel more powerful to boot.
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