A thousand

[Mardrax]

Right. Long time none of my melodrama. Have some

I'm not content with the lack of structure in this, then again, I still feel falling to and from structure is something that reflects the way my mind works well. There's a couple of other things I don't really like as well. May be coming back to this when I feel like it.

 

Feedback is, as always, highly appreciated.

 

~~~~

 

I could tell you a thousand times

about limbs doing things while I sleep

I could give you a thousand lines

and I still wouldn't blame you

if you told me you found me a creep

 

I hate myself for that.

 

Since if I'd tell you a thousand times

about limbs doing things while I sleep

I wouldn't be giving you

all of the truth

 

I tried to hold you, of course

Consciously? Very much so.

I tried a tentative hand

hoping you'd hold it

and never let go

 

Hoping you'd take

the thousand butterflies

you'd poked up that day,

and heed their existence

 

You turned away though

And so did I

giving me no option

but to rock them to sleep myself

 

Yet butterflies will flutter

and butterflies won't listen

as you told me

and I found out, waking

to you pushing me off

 

Until that hazy light of afternoon,

shining in, boiling me out,

giving some shine to the curls

that framed your sleeping face

 

"Like a cherub", I thought,

"had brown been the next blonde"

Still, like that cherub,

you quickly absconded

 

And I couldn't blame you.

'Cause if I gave you a thousand lines

You still wouldn't want to share

these butterflies with me

[Snypiuer]

Ohhh. . . Kayyy. . . absorbing it. Finding it. . . ummmmm. . . is it about feeling someone up while they sleep?!

 

I'm shallow and dense, so it could be about the uncertain nature of human interaction between two people as they test the boundaries of their relationship or the slow disintegration of a relationship as one individual slowly losses the desire to stay in said relationship and the other desperately clings to it.

 

Or, it could be that I am COMPLETELY oblivious to it's true meaning - this would, in NO way, be your fault.

 

I have NO real critique skills and even LESS knowledge of how poems should be structured - so ANYTHING I say can be viewed on the same level as if a monkey with massive head trauma and sever emotional problems had some how managed to type it!

 

Still, my immature nature prefers the 'trying to feel up a sleeping individual' hypothesis!

 

All that being said, I liked it!

[Mardrax]

In the words that this column taught me recently: "Stop biscuiting!"

 

Also, you might just be right. Or you might not. Does it matter? Find what you're looking for, and enjoy the find.

 

In any case, thanks for the comment. ^^