Doing without

[jonadine]

Ive reached for that fruit only to have it shrink

back from my hand many times

and I am sure that the water in this pool has run dry on some other occasion

when I have knelt to drink.

Why are the hunger and thirst so strong? The loss so new?

You'd think I'd be used to it by now.

 

When I remember your silly laugh, the arguments we had;

sibling bickering, and that half smile you used to give whenever you were feeling cocky,

why does my heart ache so?

I have managed to roll this stone up this hill before... so many times

Why does it still make me so tired?

You'd think I would be used to it by now.

 

 

I have woven this shroud before, I think, as I rip it up,

The loom should not still be leaving blisters on my fingers.

I still argue with you, and still you dont answer,

all I hear is an Echo, pining away, and it sounds like a shriek of agony.

Why does it still deafen me?

I should be used to it by now.

Edited January 1, 2013 by Jomeansme

[Peredhil]

Pain is always new, no matter how familiar. Eloquent. Welcome to the Pen.

[jonadine]

Pain is always new, no matter how familiar. Eloquent. Welcome to the Pen.

Its true, I have been trying to frame a poem about my brothers suicide for years, but couldnt find the imagery I needed to express it. I finally went with imagery that has deep foundations in my childhood. A book I had from even before kindergarten was a text of greek myths. There were beautiful watercolor illustrations in it and I memorized every story before I hit the third grade. The first stanza references the story about what happens to gluttons and drunkards when they go to hades. Cursed with endless hunger and thirst, they are standing in water or below fruit laden branches all of which move away from their hands when they try to collect them. The second stanza references the story of Sisyphus, also sentenced to endless labor. The third stanza references both Echo and Penelope, who pined for their loves, and the fourth stanza references the story of Morpheus, who went to hades to try to rescue his wife, but failed because he disobeyed the gods.

 

The imagery was designed to evoke awareness of death, endless pining, and guilt, but separated by time, so that the feeling isnt quite as immediate as in other poems I have posted up here.

 

I feel that maybe its a little self indulgent, but maybe most poetry is, I think.

[Ozymandias]

It is a bit heavy on the Greek myth imagery- but not in an interrupting, or at all displeasing to the reader way; the images you chose, especially having Echo and Narcissus, then Morpheus being referenced almost back to back made it sound like a good romantic poem. I wouldn't have known it was about your brother if you hadn't stated that outright.

 

Otherwise, especially since this seem like it's an older piece, it seems that you've had a very solid style and very mature writing for a long while now.

 

I noticed the distinct Greek theme you have going in yor poems in here, and keep hoping it keeps up. A very mythological background have I as well (mainly Greek and British).

[Preprise]

Intense emotions!

[jonadine]

It is a bit heavy on the Greek myth imagery- but not in an interrupting, or at all displeasing to the reader way; the images you chose, especially having Echo and Narcissus, then Morpheus being referenced almost back to back made it sound like a good romantic poem. I wouldn't have known it was about your brother if you hadn't stated that outright.

 

Otherwise, especially since this seem like it's an older piece, it seems that you've had a very solid style and very mature writing for a long while now.

 

I noticed the distinct Greek theme you have going in yor poems in here, and keep hoping it keeps up. A very mythological background have I as well (mainly Greek and British).

 

I almost didnt use the Echo, Penelope and Morpheus references, in part because I thought it made the poem too romantic. I did some research and decided finally, that they were the best fit, not only because they were the best allegory for how I felt, but my brother was a very romantic person, a very red roses and candlelight sort of guy when he was alive, so I left them in as a tribute.

[Ozymandias]

I'd agree on the keeping them in, then.

[jonadine]

Ok edited and shortened, I think its pretty good.