Degorram Posted June 15, 2009 Report Posted June 15, 2009 (edited) *content removed for safety reasons; sorry!* Edited June 24, 2009 by Degorram
Celtois Posted June 16, 2009 Report Posted June 16, 2009 This story sounds like it could be a classic folk tale, you know like the ones you used to read as a kid. Which is to say it's very good. You build your way to the finale nicely and it has all the elements of this sort of a tale ex. a lesson is taught. Overall a very good story. One thing that bothered me. Running very strongly... It sounds off, I know you where trying to keep with the pattern of Running Very X but maybe try and find a different word for there Hardily perhaps. Another thing that might sound better is swiftly instead of quickly. But now I'm just nit-picking. I
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