Preprise Posted June 2, 2009 Report Posted June 2, 2009 My exoskeleton Defying the rebel. I stare down the bait. Sordid cover in haze Beckons the burning fast. I stare down the gate. The coaxing pledge of skin And streaming video. I unleash the gun Escape is not an art And the trigger is sweet. I unleash the gun. Lust heavy, the breath chokes On lurid chemistry. I dig out the bone. Delayed, my wetness leaks. The searing mushroom flares. I dig out the throne. Erupting in cloaked moans I submit to lava. I bury the veil. Yield to ounce after ounce. Need outdoes desire. I bury the trail. Beyond the aftermath I choose my covenant. I will burn the bone And weep without learning.
Wyvern Posted June 9, 2009 Report Posted June 9, 2009 Very interesting poem, Jason. :-) I really like how carefully you've worded and structured the sexual imagery of this piece, and the dark outcome of the encounter also provides some food for thought. There's plenty to consider and dissect here, like the repetition of "I unleash the gun" and the "convenant" favored at the end... but without analyzing the poem too much. it makes for an interesting read, language-wise. The one metaphor here that I'm still struggling to associate to anything is the "mushroom" of the sixth stanza, which feels sort of out of place to me... I'm guessing it may refer to the mushroom cloud of an explosion in retrospect, but you may want to clarify things a tad there. Anyway, thanks for sharing this here Jason. :-) And since I don't believe I've formally introduced myself, welcome to the Pen!
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