Wyvern Posted May 5, 2009 Report Posted May 5, 2009 While I realize that this story hasn't really even gotten started up yet, I do like the initial scene-setting Patrick. While the rainy graveyard imagery was somewhat typical of a sad occasion and didn't really move me, Sergeant Simms seems like the beginning of a an interesting character and I really like how you introduce the element of Vietnam only at the very end of the intro. The name "Nguyen" seems to ring some sort of bell for me... not sure if I may be connecting it to a historical figure or some other story, but it's odd and familiar in an interesting way. Anyway, this is not so much a review of your introductory post as it is a note that I'll be following the story as it develops, and will hopefully be able to provide more thoughts and feedback on it later. Thanks for sharing it here, Patrick.
Patrick Posted May 5, 2009 Report Posted May 5, 2009 Thanks for the comment. Nguyen is the most common family name in Vietnam. I am planning on explaining the name at some point since James and John are very not-Vietnamese. As you said it's just starting. For once I have somewhat of an idea where I'll want it to go, of course ideas are made to be scrapped.
Tanuchan Posted May 5, 2009 Report Posted May 5, 2009 Thanks Wyvern, for bringing to my attention (through this thread) Patrick's new story, it had escaped me when it was posted. A comment on your comment — maybe you're relating Nguyen to some historic figures from Vietnam War, which you possibly study at school? It was my case, and so I did a quick search for that surname in that context; I ended up with several Nguyens... I think my auditive memory remembers Nguyen Giap, for some reason (it was a long time I had to study World History, after all ;p) Patrick, as Wyvern I like this first post. You set the mood nicely, and I'm certainly curious about where you're going to take it! I'll keep an eye on it too, and hopefully can keep posting comments (RL permitting). ~T
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