Wyvern Posted April 27, 2009 Report Posted April 27, 2009 Last time, on Dawgrim’s Reek… *Cue the image of a row of distinctly feline and feminine legs kicking upwards in a perfected cheerleading routine.* With the Jock falling apart over Dawgrim’s superior manliness, and Gobulard academics having never mattered in the first place, little stands in the way between our hero and his fated hot date to be. *Cue the image of a row of distinctly feline and feminine arms raising upwards in an enthusiastic cheerleading routine.* But with Triska challenging Dawgrim to bring his A+-game to the table, and Evil Orcy looming on the horizon, will the Academy’s resident hunk be able to live up to pro cheerleader expectations? *Cue the image of a row of distinctly feline and feminine tailed rears shaking in a suggestive cheerleading routine.* Will Dawgrim be able to woo Triska into purring for more? WILL he be able to achieve that crown that accompanies the Home Hogswill Queen tiara? *Cue the image of a still pool of mud, which ripples as a tail stinger slowly surfaces from its depths. The tail stinger lingers there for a moment before plopping back down.* … will he even show up? Find out now, on Dawgrim’s Reek. --- The soap opera cameras flicker on to a Pen hall located between the Assembly Room and the Cabaret. The hall in question has been decked out with rectangular cardboard boxes with the words “Goblyn Loker” written over them, and the rug has been removed for an unpolished school hall floor look. The occasional doodle can be seen etched into the side of the “lockers,” including a stick figure of Dawgrim in a dunce cap signed “E.O.” The cameras pan over to the soap box that Dawgrim stands on, but the Gobulard Academy hunk is promptly obscured by the obnoxious lettering of the show’s title. Dawgrim’s Reek Sponsored by Almost Dragonic Brand Geld-Scented CheerMynx Doll Spray™ Dawgrim waves his claw until the title slides off of the screen in an exceptionally cheap use of special effects, revealing this episode’s semi-heroic fashion statement. A kazoo blows the jazziest notes it can muster in the background as Dawgrim spins a comb in claw before brushing it through his hair, showing off his bare chest of painted scales and the “I Heart Triska” sticky notes stuck to his wrists. With the words “Triska, Wanna Date?” painted in white over strategic scales and the rest of his chest shining in an odd reflective red, it was obvious that the goblizard had taken Triska’s cheerleading challenge a little too seriously. A belt buckle clipped in place by a metallic heart with “D/T XXX” written on it holds the lizard’s low-hanging jeans in place, and a CheerMynx doll with its hair dyed black sticks out from one of his pockets. Dawgrim breathes the most nonchalant sigh he can muster as he picks up a cardboard megaphone. “Trisss *ahem* Triska B’Shell for Hogswill Homecoming Queen!” Wyvern holds up paper flyers with pictures of Triska’s tease stretch from episode 3. “Give Trissska that preemptive vote now, tell’er Dawgrim sssent ya.” Dawgrim pauses his campaigning as Gurt enters stage left, his brown hobgoblin outfit identical to the one he wore on the first episode of the show. The troglyodyte clears his throat and puts on a pair of shades, reading the script written on the back of the visors one syllable at a time. “Dawgrim. It has been a while has int it? I just wanted to tell you that I got an A grade on my mid term in raiding mathematics.” A loud kazoo sound effect cues up in the background, meant to add to the dramatic effect of an important revelation. “Oh. And also. I have been sleeping around, with Lemn who was once your girl on the side.” “You got an A on your raiding math midterm?!” Dawgrim stares at Gurt with an exaggerated expression of shock, only to turn his head as Evil Orcy suddenly enters stage right. “Oh great… what’re you doing here? Can’t you sssee we’re in the middle of a non-evil conversation?” “The matters of Gobulard clowns in make-up are of no importance to me!” Evil Orcy tosses his black cape back and lets out a dastardly laugh, pointing a finger at Dawgrim. “Besides, I too have something to reveal to you nitwits.” Evil Orcy reaches for his mustache, as if to stroke it, only to suddenly pull it off and toss it to the floor. The dramatic effect kazoo noise cues up in the background again. “My real name is not Evil Orcy. It’s Blarr. That’s right, Blarr… Gurt’s brother’s girlfriend-of-a-friend’s roommate! And I made out with Rassa, Gurt’s brother’s girlfriend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend, just yesterday.” Blarr lets out a cackle as Gurt drops to his knees in despair. “Also, I contributed to this week’s script. Just thought I’d mention it here since it’s not listed in the end credits *ahem.*” Both Dawgrim and Gurt stare at the troglyodyte playing Blarr with angered expressions for his break in character, which makes for an awkward silence until Gurt goes back to the scene and raises his arms to the sky. “Noooooooo.” The kazoos playing dramatically in the background to little to add to the emotion of Gurt’s lines. “Noooooo.” “Sssso neither of you wanna vote preemptively?” Dawgrim waves a flyer in the direction of the two actors, who are consumed in phony despair and phony mirth respectively. The Academy hunk grumbles to himself and lifts the script to his snout, having lost his place due to the break in scene. “Well, if neither of you are gonna vote, then I too will make a sssstartling announcement. I, Dawgrim, am officially coming out of the closss-“ Dawgrim stops mid-syllable as the dramatic revelation kazoo sound plays out in the background without him. He re-reads the piece of script thoroughly before turning his furious eyes towards Blarr, who is giggling to himself uncontrollably…
CheerMynx Posted April 28, 2009 Report Posted April 28, 2009 Dawgrim's jaw worked as he tried to think of an adequate way to finish the sentance, before a loud gasp interrupted the scene. "Oh Dawgrim! Is it true?!" Bounding up to him fresh from cheerleading practice, Triska threw her arms around Dawgrim in a hug, before pulling his head to rest on her chest. Alarm bells rang quietly in Dawgrim's head, but he was distracted by the slightly sweaty fur his face was resting against. "Oh of course it must be true! It's so obvious! I should have seen the signs! You and Blarr spending all that time together, the mud fights, your fashion sense..." Triska shook her head and blinked back Oscar-worthy tears. "And to think how much harder I must have been making your life with all of my...flirting!" Triska hugged Dawgrim even closer to her chest for a moment, before breaking away from Dawgrim to launch herself on a now very confused looking Blarr. Kissing him once on each cheek, Triska held Blarr at arm's length, eyes shining with emotion. "I hope you two will be so happy together!" Blowing a kiss to Dawgrim, Triska looked at the two of them with an expression of barely contained emotion, before she spun away and ran off, already dialling her cheer-mates on her phone...
Wyvern Posted May 2, 2009 Author Report Posted May 2, 2009 Dawgrim stammers as he watches Triska chatter her way off set, his rigid tail going limp at the thought of the rumors spreading at a cheerleader rate. A few strands of stray white fur fall from the tip of Dawgrim’s snout as his mouth twitches from frown to grin to frown again. He hobbles forward, stumbling as he forgets his position on top of the soap box and accidentally tackling Blarr onto the floor in the process. The troglyodyte previously known as Evil Orcy doesn’t so much as flinch at Dawgrim’s collision, his face pale and continuously staring forward over the thought of what monstrous plotline he’d unleashed on the show. Dawgrim pays no mind to Blarr and quickly scrambles to his feet, getting the troglyodyte’s pant zipper caught on the tip of one of his wings and pulling the trousers with him as he turns to find Triska. “W-wait, Trissssk! I, Dawgrim, am officially coming out of the closssesst heterosexual goblin hunk tanning ssspa… that’sss what I was gonna sssay, see?! Come baaaack!” Dawgrim tilts his snout to the sky and slumps his shoulders in defeat when Triska pays him no mind, watching as she moves dead-center into a crowd of gossiping cheermates. Dawgrim’s scales droop as he turns back around to mope over his fate, only to suddenly perk up at the thought of a new degree of intimacy emerging from all of this. The goblin hunk reaches into his low-hanging pockets and pulls out an address book, which he flips through in an attempt to find an available spot between dates for a little heart-to-heart session with Triska... --- Next time, on Dawgrim’s Reek. *Cue montage of Dawgrim strapping a rainbow bandanna over his forehead, as if preparing for war* With Dawgrim’s sexuality up in the air, and Triska having already drawn her fair share of conclusions, our hero moves in to test the limits of his newfound approach. *Cue similar montage of Dawgrim strapping bright pink wristbands onto his scales* But with Dawgrim’s interest still focussed on Triska, will he blow his cover when the intimacy level reaches dangerous new heights? *Cue montage of Dawgrim attempting to strap on cow hide boots, only to fall over on his snout in an anti-climactic manner* Dawgrim’s Reek ep. 6: Blarrt-to-Heart
Recommended Posts