any comments and advice

[luvmylittleman]

Hi i use to use this site a long long time ago back in 2006. since then forgotten email so cant get back onto that account how ever ive picked up a book i stopped writing back then due to not knowing where to take it. I started redoing it and im GOING TO finish it this time. I would very much like any advice and comments anyone can offer.

 

CHAPTER ONE

A gentle sobbing could be heard coming from the direction of the bathroom. Slowly the door edged open, and a teenage girl emerged onto the landing. She had long brown wavy hair, and wore a blue gem stone around her neck. She put on a brave face and headed off to school, wiping away the single tear that had tickled down her cheek. The girl’s name was Marina. Every morning was like this for her. It wasn't that she hated school. In fact she loved it, all the long words and numbers. It was the people that made her want to hide away and never be seen. They bullied her day in and day out, just because she acted and looked different to them. She would often be found hiding in the library, lost within the pages of a fantasy book. She had read each book two or three times and knew every title, and author. However this day when Marina walked into the fantasy section of the school libray, something didn't seem right. She started to scanned every book on the shelves, it wasn’t until she came to the end of the last row that that she spotted what was wrong. There laying at a slight angle learning onto the side of the bookcase was a book Marina had never seen before. Although it was new to her, Marina could tell that the book had seen may year come and go. There was something else strange about this book too, even though Marina had never seen the book on her many vists to the library. She noticed that it was covered in a thick layer of dust, as if it hadn't been moved for centuries. She gentlely removed the book from its postion on the shelve, its cover was made of thick brown leather. The leather show much wear faded in many places and slightly torn around the edges aswell as on the spin. She flicked the corner of the pages between her fingers they wear thick with a rough, crisp texture. There colouring where of a slightly off pale yellow.

 

This book must have seen some better days, Marina thought as she exasmed the book.

 

Carefully she turn the book back over to view its front cover, Blowing the think layer of dust off the cover Marina noticed faint words of a title. Carefully she wiped her hand across the faint words, revealing the title. It read, 'Expositus Foris'. Marina studied the words for a short time, thinkinf deep and hard. She knew the words were Latin, after all she had studied it for over two years, but there wasn’t many books about that used Latin these days. Carefully she opened the book and turned each one of its pages, studying then closely as she went.

 

That’s odd

 

Marina flicked through the pages a again, this time going alittle bit faster then before. There were a few words on the first page but the rest of the pages where blank, without even as much as a page number. Looking back at the first page, Marina read the words to herself. Even they didn't make sense. The words on the where a random mixture of Latin and English. She read the words out loud, hoping that in some way it might make some small amount of sense.

"Mundus, gens, beginging, domus and enter."

At the very moment she finished the final word there was a flash of bright light. Starteled Marina dropped the book on the floor. Looking down she show the pages turn by them self at great speed. A strange sound, like the faint mumbling of voices mixed with a whirling, could be heard coming from within the book. Suddenly, as quickly as it had started, it stopped. Marina looked at the book, unsure of what she had just witnessed, she slowly bent down crouching before the book. Yet not feeling sure enough to touch it yet. Then before she had time to act again there was a second flash. Now if anyone had been around to witness this event they would have noticed that Marina had now vanished. The book laid lonely on the labary floor, however taking a closer look you may also have notice word slowly start to appear on the blank pages.

'As the true one arrived...'

 

Marina pulled herself up from the floor. She was in the middle of straighten her self out when she noticed it wasn’t the normal carpet one who expect in a library. She was infact standing on what looked very much like lush green wild grass. Her vision shot up and darted in all directions. Marina was getting very worried, instead of rows of books there were rows of trees reaching high into the sky. Shrubs and the most wonderful selection of wild flowers lined the floor. Weaving between the dense forest there was a small dirt track. Marina was scared. She didn't know where she was; let alone the way to get home.

Surely this was a dream Marina thought to her self

Closing her eyes tight Marina pinced hard the skin on her arm. The pain she felt was really enough but as she opened her eyes then sence around her had not changed. Marina felt panic start to rise up within her, she was in a strange place with no idea on getting home. Slowly she took several deep breaths trying to calm her self down and took another look around. The dirt track seemed the only way out of the trees, and a strange force seemed to be drawing her towards it. Marina started to walk down the track, after all it was better the sitting around doing nothing. As she headed down the track, the trees started to interlock over her creating a tunnel. Each branch moved smoothly into place, like a well oiled machine. Jumping at every sound and shadow, Marina followed the path for what seemed like hours. Eventually the path came to an abrupt stop in front of a wall of dense trees, with no passable way through. Despairing, Marina fell to the ground and started to sob into her hands. Any hope of getting home seemed smashed to pieces. Just at that moment she heard a gentle voice.

"Enter my child."

As Marina looked up she saw the wall of trees fade away, revealing a beautiful stone carved city. Every wall had veins of ivy, dressing them in a wonderful emerald green. The city seemed so fresh and new, yet so full of knowledge. It seemed as if it had been carved from the very earth it stood on, and not by the hand of any mortal being. After standing motionless for sometime Marina took a deep breath, slowly rose and cautiously made her way into the city. As she walked down what seemed to be the main street, she saw many eyes turn to watch her. People froze in there tasks to stare in her direction. She heard their low whispers but couldn’t make out the words. She felt like she was back in the school hall, with people whispering and giggling behind her back. Closing her eyes tight and hanging her head, Marina hoped desperately that the watchers would leave her alone.

"Stand tall and walk proud."

Came a voice came from just in front of Marina. Looking up, she could make out the owner of the voice. Standing in front of her was a tall, fair haired man. His hair fell to just below his shoulders and he had a beard that covered his chin. The wrinkles upon his face gave her the impression that it was sagging. He was dressed in a long cream garment and holding a long staff. The staff seemed to be carved in a twisting design running from top to bottom. It fell to a smooth point and rose to a large knot. For some reason Marina felt as if she had seen him before, but she couldn't think where. Shyly she answered the mans statement.

"Were you speaking to me?"

The old mans smile was warm and friendly. Marina stood motionless, her gazed fixed on his face. She knew it was rude to stare but her eyes couldn't seem to leave their target. Courteously the man offered his hand to Marina.

"Would you like to follow me?"

For some reason Marina felt as if she could trust him. Despite all the warnings she had received about strangers she felt almost safe around him. Forcing a smile she took his hand.

"My names Mazroth. Glad to meet you again Marina."

 

Marin was taken into a large grand building, its face limited in decorations but holding a natural beauty from its veins of ivy. Marina was then led up several flights of stair and through a large oak door, its frame decorated with four runs of ivy twisting around each other. The door opened into a large bedroom. On her left was a huge four poster bed, the covers coloured in different shades of green. At the foot of the bed lay a large wooden chest engraved with a detailed forest scene. On her right was a normal looking wardrobe, with a small worn brass lock on the door. At the far end, flooding the room with a rush of light, were two large balcony doors. In front of these doors sat a cosy looking oak framed chair. Everything about the room had a warm and welcoming feel. Finally her gaze turned back to Mazroth. Before she could question him, he spoke again.

"Please make yourself at home. There is a gift for you in the chest. It will explain matters better then I ever could."

With that Mazroth left, leaving Marina alone in the room. Moving very slowly she made her way over to the chest. Carefully she lifted up the lid, surprised at how little effort it took for its size. Inside laid a neatly wrapped leather parcel tied together with a length of hemp. Lifting out the parcel and clutching it to her chest, she took it over to the bed. Placing it on her lap, she slowly undid the ties. When the string was removed the leather wrapping fell away revealing a neatly written letter and a small black book. Marina held the letter in her hands curiously. The paper was thick and had a yellowish tint to it. Marina turned the paper over several times before she started to read.

'Before I begin let me tell you who I am and who you are. I am your father, a high wizard. Your mother was an elf, the most wonderful and beautiful elf I had ever seen. When you were born there were difficulties and your mother sadly passed away. It was then that I first heard a prophecy concerning you. The prophecy told of a half breed that would return and save her world from evil, after finding out who she was. At the same time a great evil who went by the name of Ephron was trying to rule this world. He swore to destroy anything in his path. I decided to hide you, knowing that when the time came you would return. I sent you to the world know as earth with two rogues to care for you. Before I departed, I tied a gemstone around you neck. Ephron's forces grew and soon we had to hide our city. I left this letter as well as small self writing book with a dear friend of mine, and left the safety of the city to help with the battle. I do hope we will meet again, my dear daughter.

Let your heart stay pure. '

Marina's eyes were fixed to the letter as a single tear trickled down her cheek. She had always been teased, told she was different. Now she wasn't even human. Instead she was a half breed. She sat motionless on the bed as she thought about the situation. Slowly her expression lifted. True, her life was going to change, but maybe it would change for the better. Placing the small book in her pocket and clutching the gem around her neck, she rose from the bed and headed for the door. Before she could reach it a slim, blonde haired girl walked in. She was dressed in what seemed to be a maids uniform. It wasn't the traditional black and white that Marina always associated with maids, however. Instead it was coloured in natural, earthy tones. Her ears rose to smooth peaks beneath her hair. Her skin seemed to glow with radiant health. Addressing Marina she spoke.

"Master Mazroth wishes your presence in the great hall. Please follow me."

Marina followed the maid down the stairs and through several rooms. They stopped in a large, tall room. It was almost empty except for a few chairs stacked around the sides and a low raised stage at the far end. Standing in the centre of the room was Mazroth. Silently he nodded at the maid, who gave a small bow and left. After the maid departed there was a long awkward silence, Mazroth was the first to break it.

"I know you want answers, but I can't tell you more than you already know. If you'll follow me I will help equip you for your adventure."

Marina was just about to protest, but before she could speak Mazroth was moving off across the room. Deciding that protestations could wait she hurried off after him. They walked through several more rooms and ending up in a small, long room. Mazroth lit two lanterns hanging from the ceiling, the light they gave off revealing damp walls and bare shelves. With a quick flick of his wrist, Mazroth covered the room in a mist of shimmering powder. When the mist finally settled it seemed as if Marina was looking at a different room. Hanging on the walls were rows of swords of many different shapes and sizes. A pile of shields and belts laid in the corner, while jars and packets filled the shelves with not a space to spare. A large chest lay at the end of the room containing about ten or fifteen small draws. Mazroth wandered into the room muttering to himself. He rummaged around in the draws and on shelves, collecting items as he went along. When he reappeared he walked over to Marina, handing her items as he named or described them.

"A sword, because you'll never know when you might need it. A belt to carry it in. One box of magic for quick use. Ah and food, we can't have you starve to death. Can we?"

Marina looked at the equipment in her arms, then her eyes began to fill with tears again as she began to ramble.

"This has to be a dream. I find it hard to fit in as it is. You can't say my whole life so far has been a lie. I'm not meant to go out and be a hero, I don't even know how to fight. This has got to be a dream Soon I'll wake up and..."

Mazroth cut Marina off in a sharp voice.

"Don't be foolish. This is who you are and who you've always been. It's time for you to leave and discover your answers."

Marina stood motionless, unsure of how to react. In a way she was still hoping she would wake up in her warm bed. There was a small part of her, however, that was glad she had the chance to become something, a part that couldn't help feeling excited about the adventures in front of her.