Wyvern Posted February 2, 2009 Report Posted February 2, 2009 The news cameras fade in to the image of CheerMynx’s bedroom HQ, which looks somewhat neater and tidier than usual. Moreover, the quarters seem devoid of any suggestive items or stray articles of clothing, with lots of white sheets creating a clean and rather bland look that’s oriented towards all age groups. A gentler and more soothing version of the Almost Report news medley cues up as the cameras slowly pan over the room until they reach CheerMynx’s bed, focusing on the tan legs of Wyvern’s well-ironed trousers. The clean-cut fit and lack of free-roaming tail suggest that the overgrown lizard had put some care into concealing as many scales as possible in his attire… though his lack of shirt and unlaced shoes seem to suggest otherwise. Wyvern scrambles through a stack of shirts at his right with one claw while trying to knot his shoes with the other, unaware of the camera's presence until a troglyodyte clears his throat in the background. “Oh, uhhhh…” Wyvern stares at the stack of informal shirts at his side, then back at the cameras. “W-welcome to a wholesome family fun edition of the Almossst Report. Asss *ahem* As I hope you can see, I’ve prepared an FCC-friendly set-up sssuitable for all ages, to broaden the Report’s appeal to a wider generation of viewers. Eheheh, yep.” Wyvern strikes a sheepish grin and quickly snags up a white sheet from the ground to tie around his neck and cover his chest with, leaving a square of bright pink in the otherwise bland room. The overgrown lizard reaches down to tie his work shoes, fumbling with the laces in his claws. “Anyway, sssince we’re already a little behind schedule, I’ll go ahead and start thingsss off by wishing Knight and Sorciere a happy belated birthday.” Wyvern grunts as he somehow manages to get his ankles tied together in shoe lace, and sets about attempting to unknot the mess. “Almost Dragonic Brand Friendly Fire Arms™ are being sent to your respective quarters as gifts, jussst don’t use them around Tanuchan. Almost Dragonic Brand Friendly Fire Arms™ - the combustible weapon your whole family can enjoy! 99 geld, cheap.” Wyvern flashes a claws-up at the cameras, only to pause as a troglyodyte’s face flashes on a portable crystal ball to his left. “Hey Wyv, are you available? We haven’t gotten in touch with CheerMynx to see if she’ll continue that exotic dance you wanted her t-“ Wyvern grabs the crystal ball and turns it face down so that the sound and visual are muffled, letting out a high-pitched nervous laugh and turning to the cameras as he continues fiddling with his shoe lace mess. “N-n-no exotic dancesss on this show, no sir. It’s allll family entertainment, heheheh.” Wyvern twists his snout and barely manages to hold back an inappropriate string of curses as he finds lace tied around his wrists from the many attempts at untying his ankles. “Though in terms of dancing, you might wanna check out the Conservatory Ball sssponsored by this very Report. Those under 21 should be accompanied by parental guardians due to the serving of alcoholic beverages, of courssse. But don’t worry, there’sss plenty of music discussion in the Cabaret Room for those unable to attend the party. Sssee? The entertainment we offer is appropriate for everyone.” Wyvern grins and nods vigorously, either trying to indicate that he really means it or simply making up for his inability to use claw gestures with his wrists tied. The overgrown lizard pauses as a troglyodyte in a mailman uniform steps onto the set. The troglyodyte drops off a magazine next to Wyvern before scurrying off to the other end of CheerMynx’s quarters, searching for her mailbox under the various white sheets. Wyvern’s grin remains frozen in place as he realizes the magazine in question is the latest issue of Naughty Nymph Leaf Blower Edition, which seems to be flashing quite a few explicit acts on the cover. The overgrown lizard fumbles with his tied claws for a moment before shoving the magazine out of the range of the cameras with his tail. “Eheheheh. No raunchy reading material on this Report, just Almost Dragonic Brand Economic Forecast Doodle Guides™ to *aherm* leaf through, lemme assure you.” The white sheet around Wyvern’s neck loosens and falls off, much to the reptilian reporter’s dismay. He scrambles for it but finds himself less mobile than before given his tied wrists and ankles, and flops on CheerMynx’s bed bare-chested like a fish out of (into?) water. He fidgets and uses his wings to shove himself over to the bedpost, flashing the cameras some extra-nervous grins in intervals “Almost Dragonic Brand Economic Forecast Doodle Guides™ - perfect for catching up on February Pen promotion bribes or just teaching kidsss the numerous merits of geld.” Wyvern faces the cameras and forces a toothy smile as he attempts to untangle his wrists on the bedpost behind him… only to get his wrists tangled to the bedpost in the process. The overgrown lizard fidgets and tries to budge his arms to the left and the right, with no luck. He hisses a sigh and rolls his eyes to the ceiling. “I don’t sssuppose I could get a lil’ help here?” Wyvern lets out a huff of family fun resignation as he catches an image of his current predicament in one of the nearby camera monitors. “Happy belated birthday, Signe.”
Patrick Posted February 2, 2009 Report Posted February 2, 2009 *steps in wearing his most formal attire* "As Elder of Techy Tinkering I feel it my duty to point out this." *steps out with a wide smile on his face enjoying Wyvern's surprise at his Almost Report being disrupted*
Harmonious_Echos Posted February 3, 2009 Report Posted February 3, 2009 *disrupts more* MUAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!! *leaves, embarrased*
CheerMynx Posted February 4, 2009 Report Posted February 4, 2009 CheerMynx blinked at the disrupting Pennites as they exited past her, frowning slightly in confusion as she ventured further into the room and saw Wyvern's entangled state. Tilting her head, the cheerline took the tootsie pop she'd been sucking out of her mouth. "Wyvie? What happened?" "CheerMynx!" Wyvern looked both mortified and relieved at the cheerline's arrival. "It'sss really not what it looksss like!" "I like thought this week was the innocent week?" CheerMynx's frown deepened as she took in the tangled mess that was Wyvern's state. True to her words, CheerMynx was dressed like the leading gal in a 1950s afterschool special, complete with chaste blouse and skirt, a ribbon holding her hair in a ponytail, and the afforementioned tootsie pop. Her cerbihuahua had a matching bow around each of its necks - blue for the boys and pink for the girl, of course. Wyvern stopped long enough in his struggling to take in this effect. Truth be told, it was a very sincere attempt by the cheerline to fit the genre. And yet it was almost too innocent to be taken seriously. Especially as there was something about the way that she sucked on the tootsie pop... Shaking his head to clear it, Wyvern swallowed the remnants of his pride and whined. "Jusst get me outta here!" Stifling a giggle, CheerMynx flounced over to Wyvern. "Like, sure! Just mind Cerby for me?" Sticking the tootsie pop back in me mouth, the cheerline placed the cerbihuahua right in front of Wyvern and began to work on freeing the Almost Dragon, oblivious to the puppy's growling as she hummed to herself.
Wyvern Posted February 5, 2009 Author Report Posted February 5, 2009 "R-really though CheerMynx, Patrick n' Harmony had nothing to do with thissss..." Wyvern struck a nervous grin, only to go bug-eyed as the cheerline mounted herself onto the bed, spreading her legs as far as her chaste skirt allowed in order to kneel over Wyvern and un-bond his wrist-laces from her bed post. The act of kindness left the overgrown lizard somewhat in awe of the way that the cheerline's layered blouse failed to hide her shapely form. He rasped in excitement and stammered for a moment, his wings twitching giddily in spite of themselves. "N-n-n-n-not th-that I h-h-had other p-p-p-plans with it or anyhing, uhhhh..." "Oh?" CheerMynx glanced down at Wyvern with an expression befitting of her chaste outfit, rolling her tongue around the edges of the tootsie pop in an all too innocent manner. "Not even, like, any family friendly ones?" "Uhhhhm..." Wyvern's forked tongue rolled out in spite of himself, only to quickly get sucked back into his mouth. "W-w-well, d-did you have anything in mind?" "Ohmigawd SURE!" CheerMynx undid the remainder of Wyvern's wrist bonds in a flash, her tone completely changing. She quickly tapped Wyvern on the horn. "TAG, you're it!" CheerMynx giggled and bounced off of the bed, leaving Wyvern helpless to chase after her given his laced ankles. The overgrown lizard raised a claw to protest, only to watch the cheerline crunch down on the remainder of her tootsie pop just as the cerbihuahua decided to connect its teeth to Wyv's nether regions... The screams that followed were hardly family friendly.
Recommended Posts