Patrick Posted January 27, 2009 Report Posted January 27, 2009 Of the canopy of stars overhead Not one deigns falling - ungrantable wish The daily horoscope in the newspaper Holds no promise - hopeless wish Soothsayers, cheap fortune tellers Don't even bother - unfathomable wish You should know what you want Before asking for it - unexpressable wish Or you should just stop waiting For it to happen - unnecessary wish Weird, weird poem structure...somehow felt appropriate.
Wyvern Posted January 28, 2009 Report Posted January 28, 2009 Hey, I really like the structure of this poem Patrick! The choice of words in expressing the various types of wishes were very good for the most part, and the way that all forms of wishing were painted in a negative light definitely made for an interesting read. I think the first stanza of the poem might be my favorite, just because the first two lines expressing that stanza seem ever so slightly more challenging than the others. Between this and your "Take the Knife" poem, you seem to be touching upon some very heavy emotions... hope all's well over on your end of the world.
Patrick Posted January 28, 2009 Author Report Posted January 28, 2009 All's well here. I write dark stuff even when in good moods.
Ran Yoko Posted January 28, 2009 Report Posted January 28, 2009 woo-hoo! yay, I'm not alone!! <clears throat after the outburst> very interesting. <tries to sound like proper Englishwoman, even though I have no English in my ancestry that I know of.>
Preprise Posted May 29, 2009 Report Posted May 29, 2009 This makes me think. My head hurts but the poem kicks 7 different kinds of ass!
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