Kikuyu_Black_Paws Posted September 11, 2008 Report Posted September 11, 2008 What are you looking at? With your critical eyes and your lined face What are you looking at? Surely you are not looking at me What are you looking at? I will steal your eyes So that they look only at me Do not stare Stare not No What are you looking at? I will steal your eyes.
Wyvern Posted September 18, 2008 Report Posted September 18, 2008 Cool poem, Kikuyu. :-) I like the tone of jealousy that resonates with the line "So that they only look at me," as well as the uses of repetition and negative vocabulary. I think there's something odd about the way that the "Do not stare" lines follow the "So that they only look at me" line, perhaps because they seem to suggest that the narrator wants the second-person of the poem to stare at her and not stare at all simultaneously... it's an interesting pairing though. Thanks for sharing this, Kikuyu. Wyvern steps forward and offers the ninja lady a tome entitled Almost Dragonic Brand Eye Thievery in 34523 Easy Steps.. 80 geld, cheap!
Kikuyu_Black_Paws Posted September 19, 2008 Author Report Posted September 19, 2008 *flips through tome* Very, very interesting...*glances at unsuspecting pennite* Thanks Wyv.
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