Sun Child

[Silver WInd]

Sun Child

 

She was raised in the sun

a sun with heavy lided eyes

that never did wink;

stretched across the sky languidly

 

Crowned in golden light,

she liked to dance among the flowers,

flowers of yellow that never slept

 

And above in the sky

the bright fire-orange eye

watched with a steady gaze

that grazed upon the skin

 

She never dreamed

for she never closed her eyes,

but she danced in fields of amber

in the light of day;

a day that is never vanquished

 

A child cradled in warmth and radiance,

her eyes seemed to shine

in illuminated innocence

born by the shield from darkness and shadows

 

Yet only a half-lived life

beneath the watch of a sun

that never smiled

without a purpose.

[Wyvern]

Nice poem, Silver Wind. :-) I really like the way that the images of the poem seem to point towards a greater purpose and fate for the woman raised in the sun, with the descriptions of the sun watching "with a steady gaze/ that grazed upon the skin" and never smiling "without a purpose" standing out to me in particular. One line I wasn't entirely certain about was "a day that is never vanquished," which felt a bit more general than the other images pointing towards fate... though then again, it does seem to offer a certain aura of hope to the woman described.

 

Anyway, thanks for the read Silver Wind. :-)

[Silver WInd]

Thank you for your comments as always

[Guest House Fletcher]

I like this very much. It seems to me like part of a larger work with the sun becoming a motif along with "Sunburst." I like the co-development of symbolism and character. You do it well. I feel sad and satisfied at the same time after reading.

 

I agree with what Wyvern said about the line referencing "a day that is never vanquished." The poetry is sound, but I think it lacks some of the subtle accomplishment that your other lines convey.

 

Thank you for sharing.