Mean Will

[Appy]

I have a mean will

to confound myself,

embrace myself

with a straight jacket

 

to impound myself

and brace myself

with a straight jacket

 

I do not feel that I am meant

to be happy with myself

 

 

[27 juni 2008, Rotterdam]

 

 

~ edit from the far future.. I don't remember the layout of this one and I can't find it anywhere! So if it doesn't scan with the comments, now you know why ~

Edited October 20, 2014 by Appy

[Wyvern]

Nice poem, Appy. :-) I really like the way that the first two stanzas reflect one another in terms of rhythm and form, as the repetition of those stanzas definitely drove the words home for me and made the emotions stand out. The parallels of "embrace" with "and brace" and "confound" with "impound" stand out to me in particular, and I like the way the language becomes more forceful and physical in the second stanza. The final stanza(s) of the poem were not quite as impressive to me, partially because I didn't care for the spacing of the words but mainly because I found it a somewhat blunt and simple conclusion to a poem that otherwise shows a great deal of subtlety and strength in its choice of words. Perhaps if you managed to convey the same message by showing it through some similar form of straightjacket or impounding imagery, the ending might be strengthened.

 

Anyway, nicely done Appy. :-) Thanks for sharing this here, nice to see some new poetry from you.

[Kikuyu_Black_Paws]

I liked how the lines were spread out at the end, almost as if you were actually struggling against a straight jacket. Very nice, I liked this a lot! The "I do not feel that I am meant to be happy with myself" was especially...what's the word...well it was epecially!

[DL_Snake]

as always, your work strike a deep chord in me, since it seems to reflect how i feel.

 

I loved it.

 

Sorry i'm no good as a critique, so i can only say how much I enjoyed it. Short, and to the point.