Ran Yoko Posted June 25, 2008 Report Posted June 25, 2008 (edited) Before you read this first one, THIS IS NOT FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE!!!!! I had thought of the phrase at the end a while back, and thought it would make a good title or topic! I thought like an old married couple, but one of them dies from an illness, and the one still alive knows that they'll probably be dying soon too from old age or something. Please do not think that I'm going to commit suicide or anything!! I have no intention of ever doing so!!! I am perfectly fine except for some slight allergies from all the pollen. "The End of Time" written 5/15/08 The silver hands on your watch have stopped and move no more. The grains in your hourglass have long since finished falling. You left me alone so long ago. I've wandered without your love. So many memories, should I forget? The way you would hold and comfort me. Time forever shall be a harsh and cruel master. Man's bodies dull with age, growing weaker each passing day. I come to join you soon, together forever in death. And I shall never forget what you said with a last breath: "I'll be waiting for you at the end of time. . ." "Gilt Cages" written 5/17/08 We live in societies hindered by prejudice blinded by greed and fueled by hate. Unable to see what's in front of us, afraid of what we will see. Unable to hear what's in front of us, afraid of what we will hear. Accepting things for what we wish them to be, not seeing them as they really are. Afraid of consequences, we say nothing and look away. We pretend everything is better than they really are. In effect, we all are nothing more than thousands of birds in gilt cages. "Wind's Song" written 6/9/08 If you listen hard, can you hear the words to the songs of the wind? Where they've been, what they've seen, where they're going in the future. Of the past, of the future, and all the people that they've met. If I listen hard, maybe I'll hear the words to the songs of the wind. "Sailor Man" 6/10/08 Tell me, O sailor man, is the sea your only love? With all her mysteries hidden within her murky depths? Wild and stormy, or peaceful and calm, the sea is a very quick-tempered love. Men have lost before to their love of she, the one who beckons them away from the safety of the shore. Beware, O sailor man, of the dangers of the depths. Tho' they may look alluring with the promises of treasure. For they also conceal the bodies of those who have tried and failed. So beware, O you sailor man. A bonus for all of you who've read this far. I found this scribbled down on a piece of paper in the back of my desk, a couple years old. Can anyone tell me what I might have been thinking when I wrote this? (sarcasm at work, you don't need to try to figure it out) It's amazing that it rhymes, but is it supposed to be something that dragons or birds teach their kids before they learn how to fly? Flying high, soaring low, that's the way I must go. Spread my wings, check the breeze, make sure that the air won't freeze. Jumping off, shouting loud, I will make my parents proud. Flying high, soaring low, that's the way I must go. Edited July 9, 2008 by Sora Hikari
Da_Yog Posted June 26, 2008 Report Posted June 26, 2008 I come to join you soon, together forever in death. And I shall never forget what you said with a last breath: "I'll be waiting for you at the end of time. . ." I must admit I "woke up" at this part, a very powerful ending. I was fond of the silver hands stopping in stanza one, I can't say the redundancy of the hour glass sands did the same for me. This might just be a personal preference ... Gilt Cages The play on gilt cages as opposed to gilded cages was intriguing. I very much like this poem as a whole especially stanza one. The way those active verbs hit was quite powerful: live, hindered, blinded, fueled. I did find one thing that didn't seem to hit me quite right: Unable to hear what's in front of us, afraid of what we will see. Consider rephrasing the last line to afraid of what/we might hear or afraid of what/we might find. Sailor Man I found quite the write. There does seem to be something about the sea that is feminine, but can it ever be the one true love of a man even if he's a sailor?
Ran Yoko Posted July 9, 2008 Author Report Posted July 9, 2008 sorry, Da Yoq. I was copying it off of the paper I had originally written it on, and accidentally put 'see' instead of 'hear'. I fixed it though, so it should hopefully sound better.
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