Da_Yog Posted February 26, 2008 Report Posted February 26, 2008 I blame Silverwind for this one. It's sung to ... well you should be able to guess. Pentegram, Pentegram, Does whatever a penta can. Can it stop black magic? You bet, all that's tragic! Look out! Here comes the Pentegram! Is it strong? Listen bud— It's got ethereal blood! Can it swing from a chain? Take a look at this thang. Hey there! There goes the Pentegram! In the chill of the night, Three times three fires light, By the pale moonlight, It shines its saving rite! Pentagram, Pentagram, Friendly savior the Pentagram. Wealth and fame, it's ignored— Magic is, it's reward. To it, Life is mystic made-up— Wherever you find a blood cup, You'll find a Pentagram!
Da_Yog Posted February 27, 2008 Author Report Posted February 27, 2008 *grin* Glad it gave you both a giggle. Sometimes I think poetry needs to stop being so serious and just make a person smile.
Da_Yog Posted March 3, 2008 Author Report Posted March 3, 2008 Yep, I did. Stay tuned for the adventures of Ciritic-man! Coming to a poetry forum near you!
Da_Yog Posted March 4, 2008 Author Report Posted March 4, 2008 Critic-Man, Critic-Man, Does whatever a critic can. Spins a web, of black lies You're future, he'll prophesize. Look out! Here comes Critic-Man. Has he skill? Listen bud. He's got defective blood. Can he string-ya from a thread? Take a look at his head. Hey there, there goes the Critic-Man. In the chill of the night, At the scene of the crime, You'll feel his dark blight, As he writes for the Times. Critic-Man, Critic-Man, Asshole neighbors and Critic-Man, Wealth and fame, his desire Your career, he'll set on fire. To him, Poems are poorly made-up, He only wants to rip up, He's the mean Critic-Man! Stay tuned for the further adventures of Pentagram vs. Critic-Man. If anyone should feel froggy enough to add a crazy hero or villan to the mix then by all means post away.
reverie Posted March 8, 2008 Report Posted March 8, 2008 (edited) He's got, defective blood. I'd throw a common or something here so it sounds more like "radioactive." from the original. Spins a web, of black lies Hmm, critics don't really lie. That's not to say that they're never wrong, but they do say what they believe for their own reasons (flawed like any other product of humanity). Could try: "to sermonize," but probably not strong enough for your meaning. "terrify/horrify" might work too. Actually, "to cut short" or something like that might work very well, but then you'll have to change up your rhymes to match. Or maybe "scandalize" would work best. Since, I'm detecting more of an anti-tabloid or paparazzi feel to this. Funny. Edited March 8, 2008 by reverie
Da_Yog Posted March 10, 2008 Author Report Posted March 10, 2008 I think if you view Critic-man as the arch-nemesis of Pentegram in a comic book setting then it will make more sense. Wheras critics may not "lie" in their criticisms Critic-man clearly would. He's an evil villain and capable of all sorts of nefarious schemes in his attempts to bring down the noble Pentegram, our hero. A serious piece of social commentary it is not.
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