Ozymandias Posted February 17, 2008 Report Posted February 17, 2008 We danced Our fingers lacing and unlacing apart and then again We danced our bones folding and unfolding as a clockwork bird's wingbeats We danced shoulder to shoulder cheek to cheek We danced brushing, grasping, caressing without a touch We danced Twirling, curving, stepping tracing waves on dry land We danced we never kissed our eyes did more than that
Silver WInd Posted February 18, 2008 Report Posted February 18, 2008 I really liked this, I liked the way the poem was structured, it worked well. Nice imagery.
Ozymandias Posted February 18, 2008 Author Report Posted February 18, 2008 Thank you. Glad you enjoyed. :>) ~
Peredhil Posted February 18, 2008 Report Posted February 18, 2008 Really like this! Tallying up my vote, the Eyes have it.
Da_Yog Posted February 20, 2008 Report Posted February 20, 2008 Lots of fun. I liked the way dance played out through the poem. It continually shifts in meaning while staying close to a common nature just off screen.
Ozymandias Posted February 20, 2008 Author Report Posted February 20, 2008 I emote much more than think when I write poetry (perhaps all my writing...?), and am VERY pleased this time it gelled so well with my premise. *bows* Thankee kindly for telling me (otherwise, I *wouldn'tve* known)..
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