Norman Posted January 22, 2008 Report Posted January 22, 2008 It was early twilight and the diminutive orc struggled through the keep carrying a pack twice the size of himself. His ambling shuffle punctuated by various muttered complaints regarding the orcish idea of a training camp... the use of small orcs as cannon fodder.... the use of smaller orcs as canon balls..... the hard wall of the cliff that large orcs aim small orc canon balls at for fun.... and they wonder why small orcs use large orcs as bait for dragons that they have no real interest in hunting but are fun to watch chasing large orcs.... Norman pushed his way through the door of the caberet room, set his pack down by a corner table and lay on top of it with his legs oin the air. What any observant watcher may have witnessed was the small orc trip fall and roll to the top of hi pack stuck wriggling with his feet in the air... It was on one of these wriggling feet that The Raven landed... the two small pennites eyed each other.... Norman struggled to get his arms free from the straps of the pack... "move bird, or i will use you as a dusted for my boots!"
cryptomancer Posted January 22, 2008 Report Posted January 22, 2008 The Raven flapped his wings and lifted off the perch slightly. Well more accuratly the Raven kept a good grip on the perch and flapped to see how stretchy small orcs are. Norman kicked his foot causing the Raven to let go. "Oi bird, stop that. You gonna be used as kitten bait for that!" The Raven landed on the other foot and flapped about in a strangely familiar manner, eventually tumbling airborn as the small orc's boot came off and flew onto the table beside the orc. "Oh. Sorry. shall I get that for you?" Norman struggled to free his arms, "touch my boot and i will sell you to CheerMynx as a pompom!!" The raven sat on the edge of the table and looked down at the small orc. "really? so no boot?... ok!" The raven landed on the bare foot of the orc and looked at is quizzically.
Norman Posted January 22, 2008 Author Report Posted January 22, 2008 "Oi git off!!" Norman kicked his legs trying to dislodge the Raven. The Raven flapped and struggled in mock horror... "help help I am stuck to his foot" the sarcasm was evident to everyone but Norman who took it rather as a compliment on the army grade foot protection gel (pond slime) that the raven could very well be stuck to. "Ok hold still" The Raven stopped flapping and looked at norman in the quizzical manner of a bird that just realised the orc mssed the sarcasm. Norman kicked his leg suddenly, sending the raven tumbling into the air again. "i suggest you dont go landing anyplace to soon bird." The Raven pulled out of the landing attempt and glided a circle aroung the wriggling orc, "why?" Norman grinned, "well bird, see that pond scum we use as foot protecting gell is used cause it dont stick to an orc's fine and delicate skin. But, you see, you aint an orc are ya? you likely to be looking for a bath soon, cause that stuff gonna stick to feathers worse that treacle, and be much less tasty to clean off" The Raven landed on the orc's bare foot again.. "so, you saying this is my best option of a perch then? Norman wriggled, "oi bird, git off!!"
Mynx Posted January 22, 2008 Report Posted January 22, 2008 A purred chuckle echoed from the shadows of the Cabaret room, drawing enough attention from the orc and the Raven to see a feline grin over a steaming cup of coffee. "You're both crazy. You do know that, right?"
cryptomancer Posted January 22, 2008 Report Posted January 22, 2008 The Raven launches at the cup of coffee in front of Mynx and lands with a single foot on the handle just as the feline tries to get it out of reach, the pond slime on the feet of the Raven sticks. flapping in panic as he realises the possibel implications of being caught the Raven makes it into the air and back to the foot of the small orc still holding the cup of coffee, stuck to his foot. Grinning at the orc the raven pretends to overbalance, "careful orc, i have hot coffee and i am on one leg, probibly better not to kick so much." *a small swarm of kittens starts to gather around the orc's pack watching the pair on top of it with interest"
Mynx Posted January 22, 2008 Report Posted January 22, 2008 Sighing goodnaturedly, Mynx conjured another cup of coffee and settled back in her chair to watch the show via Minion-Link
Norman Posted January 22, 2008 Author Report Posted January 22, 2008 "Raven, shift it, git off, move!!" Norman kicked his other leg around, while trying not to jostle the Raven with the hot coffee too much. THe Raven balanced and sipped the coffee, savouring the blend that he knew was one of Mynx's favourite. He was rather surprised at the lack of treacle, and pleased, although the kittens seemed to be getting more tightly packed around his perch. The last sip of coffee finished the Raven experienced a dawning of comprehension as the small orc, one hand finally free of the tangle of straps grabbed the rim of the mug and shook it hard while similtaniously kicking his legs. The Raven dislodged from his perch flapped franticly and grabbed hold of the handle of the mug with both feet, holding on tight, just as the orc threw the mug over his headonto the horde of kittens. The mug and attached bird landed in a pool of fur, claws gripping the cup as the raven franticly tried to take off and get clear of the kittens. "atchoo!!" the Raven sneezed as his eyes began to water with the close contact of kitten fur took full advantage of his allergies. Norman struggled free and sat neatly on top of his pack. Pulling out a set of horse shoes he tossed one casually at the flapping Raven and watched it catch and spin around the avian pennites neck. "oh come on bird, give it some effort, you making this to easy on me by far."
cryptomancer Posted January 22, 2008 Report Posted January 22, 2008 The mug scuffles across the floor amidst a furry snare, the odd claw taking a playful swat at the raven as he attempted to stay on the top end of the round roling vessel. The second horse shoe landed and spun around his neck.
Norman Posted January 22, 2008 Author Report Posted January 22, 2008 Norman stood on his pack bransishing his set of horse shoes. "Ladies and gentle pennites, roll up roll up, the challenge of the day has begun, 5 geld for 3 throws, teat yous skill at the flapping of the bird brain." Casually tossing the third shoe at the neck of the raven the small orc grinned at the bird now with 3 horese shoes hooked neatly on his neck. "Roll up rooll up, try you luck, give me your geld and take a shot, the bird can flap its all he knows, toss a shoe and 50 points for his nose." Norman throws a small wooden ball at the beak of the Raven clonking it neatly on the tip and sending the bird toppling into the kittens below. As soon as the Raven regains his pecarious balanced on the top of the mug, Norman repeats the shot, dunking him neatly back into the awaiting horde of fur.
Mynx Posted January 22, 2008 Report Posted January 22, 2008 "What I want to know," Mynx laughed as she conjured a horseshoe and gently flung it in the Raven's direction, "is where you got so many horseshoes...I don't suppose there's a herd of grumpy horses anywhere?"
Norman Posted January 22, 2008 Author Report Posted January 22, 2008 Norman beamed a gigling smile at the feline, "glad you asked luv, see the orc cavalry, that wanted to use me as a canon ball, had a wee accident on the ridges by a dragon den, sorta an unplanned encounter with an angry dragon who had somehow got the notion that they was after his treasure as such, so after a short scuffle the orc survivor, me, retraeted, having thanked the dragon fo the meal and hospitality, and i managed to collect a small protion of what the dragon didnt eat, if you take my meaning." Norman took a breath and continued, "so yeah, i got a bundle of them to throw, and a few small balls to dunk the bird with too."
cryptomancer Posted January 22, 2008 Report Posted January 22, 2008 The raven struggled in the tide of kitten minions, sneezing and gasping for air at each tun of the cup that repeated ly pulled him under the furry surface. The four horse shoes spinning, and off balancing him more as he struggled to keep his upright orientation in the playful horde.
Wyvern Posted January 22, 2008 Report Posted January 22, 2008 "Ohhhhh, lemme play! Lemme play!" Wyvern rushes up to the scene and, nodding to Norman, pulls a horseshoe from his orc sack. "Lisssten, in terms of geld, we're gonna have to discuss the cost. After all, you got these shoes from one of my brethren, and I think it'sss only right that I should get a test shot free." With that, Wyvern brushes the dust from his horns, licks his lips, and squints as he aims the horseshoe in the Raven's direction. The overgrown lizard levels his hand at an angle, takes three steps back, then twirls forward and swings out with the horseshoe with all his might. The horseshoe soars through the air, missing the Raven by a long shot and ricocheting off of a Cabaret counter. It flies up and hits the ceiling, then soars back down at a diagonal angle and spins around one of the legs of Mynx's table. The shoe then flies back in Wyvern's direction, knocking the lizard on the head and flooring him... but not before the horseshoe makes a few more spins on one of his horns and flies through the air at Norman...
Norman Posted January 22, 2008 Author Report Posted January 22, 2008 The Wyvern thrown shoe hits Norman square on the eartangling in the brim of his bowler hat and pushing it low over his eyes blinding him. The stumble caused by the impact of the shoe shifts the weight just a bit too far on the top of the pack causeing it to role slowly into the kittens. Norman struggles with his hat as he falls into the waiting paws. "oweeee! oi kitty get this lot off me" Mynx looks up from her coffee? "pardon?" "sory luv, oh wonderful feline kittyfolk wonderful graceful, oh''eck with it just get this lot off me!!"
Mynx Posted January 22, 2008 Report Posted January 22, 2008 "Terribly sorry," Mynx stood up from her seat at the table. "But I have to go. Busy busy, don't you know." Mynx's dead eyes shone with mirth as she moved away from the mob. "Seeing as you're so...caught up with those little ones, I won't disturb you in your fun." Mynx chuckled. "Don't worry, they'll find me when they need to. Just make sure you don't do anything you might regret." With that last, vague threat over the treatment of her minions, Mynx twitched her tail with a laugh and wandered off.
Norman Posted January 22, 2008 Author Report Posted January 22, 2008 THe sea of kittens ebbed and flowed over the floor, swirling around the table and the discarded pack of Norman's orcish belongings. Bobbing in the middle was a very fluffed and ruffled bird randomly sneezing and flapping discordently with the tumble of the mug that he was stuck to. Norman paddled his way to the mug, being dunke dby the pouncing waves of fur that caught him occasionally. Norman kicked the mug onto its base, the raven went under again and flapped franticly against the floor as the added weight of Norman pinned the mug down and provided an island of sorts in the midst of the swirling fur.
cryptomancer Posted January 22, 2008 Report Posted January 22, 2008 Raven claws scuffled on the floor of the Caberet room. Not far off (about the normal length of a raven from head to toe) the Raven's beak tried in vain to get a grip on the floor and provide a point of leverage. The Raven attempted flight again. The flurry of fur and feathers subsided briefly before continuing with renewed vigour. The Raven sneezed. Several kittens pounced. The mug spun across the floor like a top (with an orc for ballast) and cleared a small patch of floor amidst the kittens. The Raven made a renewed bid for freedom and managed to spin the mug faster upon the edge of its rim, the spinning shape of the Raven now making a blurred 'V' in the middle of the floor. "stop with the flapping bird, you gonna make us dizzy" Norman's vioce was barely audible over the scraping of the cup's rim on the Caberet room floor. The Raven flapped harder, managing to get slightly airborne. Norman yelled, the mugspun outwards as the raven gained flight control, swinging the 'Mugorcbirdthing' in ever increasing circles of the room, spiraling upwards to the rafters and eventually with the true grace of a landing bird, the mug touched down on the rafters above the kitten horde, Raven wings flapped for balance. The round edge of the mug rolled gently from side to side as the Raven fought to balance upon its upright handle. Norman kicked. The mug and raven plumetted to the floor in a flurry of flapping feathers, managing to slow the fall just enough to be bombarded by a larger then nessecary number of kitten pounces.
The Death of Rats Posted January 23, 2008 Report Posted January 23, 2008 The small orc felt an itch on his back, almost as if something was laboriously clambering up it. Someone was, he realized, as a pair of ivory-white feet (which were, in fact bone, and naught else) were draped unceremoniously over the brim of his hat. ...shortly followed by a tiny fishing rod snapped into view next, casting off its bait into the millign kittens. Tied to the line was a simple ten ounce wad of catnip. The feet seemed to wait expectantly.
Norman Posted January 23, 2008 Author Report Posted January 23, 2008 Norman eyed the boney feet with caution, his mind already touching on the fact that this was going to look like he was fishing for kittens if on of them looked up... Norman looked down, watching the flapping of the sneezing raven and the many kittens watching it, or swatting playfully at its beak. His eyes met with a kitten's.... Norman panniced, held up his hands and shook his head furiously (jiggling the catnip bait), "oi no, it aint me luv, serious, it aint me, i would never fish for your kittens luv honest, it the small boney feet doing it.... " Norman looked up, there were no feet on his hat, there was a fishing rod, but no feet.... From the corner there can the drift of a very amused "SQUEAK"
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