The Almost Report Peeps Poetry Fashion Designs

[Wyvern]

The news cameras fade in to the bright glare of fluorescent light, which beams over the clean white accessories of a wide rectangular chamber. White tables, white chairs, white drawers, a white sofa, and white computers rest in a symmetrical and space efficient set-up. The room could probably be mistaken for a scientific quarantine facility or the business quarters of an insane asylum, with only a simple black art sculpture of an orb connected to a receding curve adding a touch of flavor to the room’s design. The cameras pan over the documents stacked in an orderly manner on the various tables before focusing on Wyvern, who sits typing at one of the computers with both his claws and his tail stinger. The overgrown lizard seems to generate an aura of messy paperwork while he types, with loose sheets, post-its and halves of torn pages littering the area directly surrounding him. Wyvern turns his head towards the cameras for a moment and flashes a grin, then turns his head back towards the screen and squints as he speaks.

 

“Greetingsss, and welcome to another Almost Report.” Wyvern licks his lips and scrolls down, nudging the mouse a bit with his tail stinger. The news cameras turn at an angle that gives a view of the computer screen, which displays a number of sentences arranged in a variety of different positions and patterns. “We're reporting to you live from Preprise’s poetry design blog this evening in the hopes of finding and ‘borrowing’ a few poetry dress designs, which may serve as less expensive alternatives to CheerMynx’s fashion ssstatements in future reports. Unfortunately, assss you can see, the quest for new styles has been less than fruitful thus far.”

 

Wyvern points at the computer screen, which the cameras zoom in on to catch a more detailed view of the sentence patterns. Each of the poem files registers at over 200 pages in length, with most of the variation resting in the extremely long billowing dress lengths.

 

“Thessse Epic Poem Dress Designs could be epic attire for a palace, but they’re hardly fitting for our lil’ Report.”

 

Wyvern snorts and lifts himself from his seat, turning towards one of the drawers and knocking over the computer keyboard with a swing of his tail in the process. The mess of paperwork seems to follow the reptilian reporter as he makes his way to a tall filing cabinet labeled “Casual.”

 

“In today’sss Pen news, Valdar would once again like to remind pennites of his upcoming Christmas IRC Party, which he’s offered more details on in the Cabaret Room.” Wyvern begins pulling drawers from the filing cabinet and flipping through the folders in them. “The party will be occurring on #thepen channel of the Galaxynet server of IRC on the 22nd of December at 10 PM GMT (3 PM PST). To thossse of you who don’t have IRC but would like to join in, Valdar has also offered instructions on how to download the program in his Cabaret announcement.”

 

Wyvern tosses two of the drawers to the side, then pauses and pulls out a folder on “Sonnet Casual Wear” from a third drawer. The overgrown lizard raises a brow as he glances over the curves of the quatrains and couplet skirt, seeing some potential in the hypnotic look of the syllable patterns over the front. He taps his claws together, then sets the drawer on the ground to revisit later and makes his way to the white sofa and adjacent table.

 

“In further newsss, the Sexy Sexy Man of Terra has sparked a new Cabaret book discussion that pennites are welcome to join into.” Wyvern licks his lips and reaches for a folder labeled “Confidential Projects.” “Feel free to offer Orlan any suggestions on fantasy novels, fantasy novellas, or Almost Dragonic Products that he could potentially endorse to add a fantasy appeal to them.”

 

Wyvern begins tearing through the papers in the confidential folder, tossing them left and right and adding to messy paper pile that follows the lizard wherever he goes.

 

“The Almost Report would also like to take a moment to wish Sweetcherrie a Happy Birthday, and to thank her for her many valuable contributions to the Pen over the yearsss. Though she may no longer check the boards, our thoughts are ssstill there.” Wyvern begins slowing down in his folder search as he comes across some slightly more interesting designs involving Sonatas. “Nyarlathotep and lumpenproletariat get belated Happy Birthday shoutsss as well, partially for the prossspect of associated vouchers but mostly cus’ they’re cool.”

 

Wyvern’s eyes go extra-beady as he silently lifts a sheet detailing “Haiku Lingerie.” He stares for a long moment and contemplates whether the words “comfy pleasant fit/ ninety percent sex appeal/ cost efficient too” indicate a product description or a picture of the mini-garment itself…

[CheerMynx]

A giggle pulls attention away from Wyvern's distracted form, the camera searching for the source amidst the blinding white. After a few moments of fruitless panning, a flash of orange and black catches the camera, before disappearing again. Another giggle emits from the stark white area, before CheerMynx lowers the pure white umbrella she'd been hiding behind. Sitting on a white table, the cheerline's legs were tucked beneath a short, white baby-doll dress, her 'camouflage' only accentuating the bright orange of her pelt, her white furred front blurring the line of the dress' low cut front. Snuffles could be heard mewling discontent, but was nowhere to be seen - a fact that suggested a recent dye job for the unfortunate minion. In the paw that CheerMynx wasn't using to hold the umbrella was a glass filled with a bright green drink.

"Like, hello everyone! I hope all of your holiday plans are totally coming together!" She paused for a moment to pout. "I totally want to go to the IRC party but Mynx, like, won't let me. Says we have 'commitments' or something." CheerMynx rolled her eyes, before giggling and holding up her glass, which on closer inspection appeared to be filled with Midori. "So I'm like TOTALLY getting a headstart on the festivities!"

A flutter of something - what one could almost argue as sanity - crossed the cheerline's face for a moment, before she shook it away and smiled brightly.

"So! I totally want to extend my best wishes to the recent bunch of birthday Pennites! If any of you get in touch with me before this bottle runs out I'm TOTALLY willing to do shots," CheerMynx giggled again, raising her glass and nearly overbalancing for a moment. Regaining her composure for a moment, the cheerline opened her mouth to start on another tirade of gossip when a white blur on her shoulder that appeared to be Snuffles leaped off, overbalancing CheerMynx and spilling both her glass and the bottle of midori next to her everywhere.

Gaping at the lurid green that now coated the cheerline's fur and clothing, CheerMynx let out a loud wail and leaped off of the table, flinging the umbrella into the air as she ran off to whine to Wyvern about her ruined outfit.

The umbrella hovered weightlessly in the air for a moment before it fell gracefully to land on the camera, obscuring the lens until once again only white could be seen...

[Wyvern]

The umbrella bounces back up as the camera swerves left, focusing on Wyvern as the lizard braces himself for CheerMynx’s rant. The reptilian Elder crushes the Haiku Lingerie design sheet in one of his claws in a gut reaction, then glances down and curses over what he’s done.

 

“Wyverrrrnnnnnn, see here my outfit is totally ruined!”

 

Wyvern tilts up his head and stares at the green stains on CheerMynx’s fur and attire, going a little cross-eyed as he realizes that he still can’t really tell where the chest ends and the dress begins. He shakes his head a bit in the hopes of concentrating on CheerMynx’s words, which are now flowing at full-throttle.

 

“OhmyGod this Midori stain is just so out of place this room.” CheerMynx pouts and waves her paws. “This mess is, like, a total disaster. Just what are we going to do about these stains, Wyv? And my fur, I just groomed.”

 

Wyvern resists the urge to sample the Midori straight off the cheerline’s fur and coughs, lifting a claw to his chin as he considers the best words to comfort the almost intern in her time of need.

 

“Awww, don’t worry CheerMynxie, it doesn’t look that out of place.” Wyvern pauses as he examines the mess of papers, drawers, keyboards and streams of green liquor that have dirtied Preprise’s blog quarters. “And besssides, it looks kinda festive. Y’know, holiday spirit and all that…”

 

Wyvern pauses as he notices CheerMynx staring at him with an expression that reads “I ain’t buying it,” her paws on the sides of her waist and her tail flicking back and forth impatiently.

 

“Errr, that issss to say, I like the modern art approach?” Wyvern bites his lip as CheerMynx continues staring at him, this time with a slightly sadder expression. The overgrown lizard turns his eyes to the ceiling for a moment and tries to avoid the thought of CheerMynx's milky silvers, but ends up letting out a long sigh. “Alright, alright, I’ll tell ya what. I’ll boost your Almost Intern Fashion Fund to 5% for one report ssso you can wash that, BUT... ya gotta continue to keep an open mind 'bout what to wear in future Reportsssq."

 

Wyvern hooks the drawer with the "Sonnet Casual Wear" design in it with his tail stinger and slowly pulls it up to his feet...