Regel Posted December 17, 2007 Report Posted December 17, 2007 (edited) Everything green forgotten, Buried beneath this icy cotton. Sirens in the distance calling As the snow keeps on falling. Young and old kept shovels going Churning snow machines a blowing Still inside the warmth is calling As the snow keeps on falling. Plow will soon be down my street Stamp my boots to feel my feet Back and shoulders start to calling As the snow keeps on falling. Winter scenes we used to know Delivered in the form of snow Busy travelers cars are crawling As the snow keeps on falling. Thought winter had its last hurrah? So sorry not in Canada. Smile inside the Riesling’s calling As the snow keeps on falling. Edited December 20, 2007 by Regel
Da_Yog Posted December 18, 2007 Report Posted December 18, 2007 (edited) I quite liked the repetition of, "as the snow keeps falling". It was a nice way of returning the reader to the matter at and. I must admit that I almost got a Thomas Beckett feel from this—the endless cycle of snow that never seems to go—except you include an element of nostalgia for the snow that is almost warm among the frigid snow. The line in the last stanza, "So sorry, not in Canada" provides a nice bit of humor at the end that adds some warmth to the poem as a whole. It grew on me a bit on the second and subsequent reads. I did have one question. The reisling you mention in the next to last line. Are you referencing riesling wine? A connoisseur of wines, I am not. http://www.themightypen.net/public/style_emoticons/default/ohmy.gif Edited December 18, 2007 by Da_Yog
Kikuyu_Black_Paws Posted December 18, 2007 Report Posted December 18, 2007 Wonderful poem Regel! It made me wish even more for snow!!! Just freezing rain where I am, I'm afraid. Thank you for sharing this! It was marvelously crispy! (that is a complement, by the way)
Regel Posted December 19, 2007 Author Report Posted December 19, 2007 The reisling is indeed white wine best served chilled. Thank you for the comments.
Peredhil Posted December 20, 2007 Report Posted December 20, 2007 I found myself reading out-loud, picturing myself stamping and shoveling to the beat. Nicely done. a couple of minor spelling errors, but that's what revision is for. When I try to revise as I write, I lose the original vision. *hugs* Good job, elder-brother-man!
Katzaniel Posted December 20, 2007 Report Posted December 20, 2007 Wonderful rhyming and great rhythm - but I must say, as a fellow Canadian I'm a bit tired of the subject matter (not as a subject, mind you, but as matter ) Ah well, at least it's not very cold this year so far, mostly. And I *do* appreciate the snow a bit - the one year we had Christmas more or less without it was super strange and I wouldn't want that again. But it would be nicer if it waited until mid-November and was gone by March!
WrenWind Posted January 6, 2008 Report Posted January 6, 2008 And still the snow is falling . Love this Regel luckily I'm not the one who has to go out and shovel but it is nice to see the snow cover makes everything looks so clean
Ozymandias Posted January 8, 2008 Report Posted January 8, 2008 *snaps fingers, smiling* Seems that all that's missing is a roaring fire and slippers. Well done.
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