Kikuyu_Black_Paws Posted December 16, 2007 Report Posted December 16, 2007 I pause in prideful wonder as I look about this space No one can do what I can do, not a single other race Effortlessly I coast along and with a single twist I can turn and see a star-cloud like a scarlet mist. I need no air to aid my lungs, no support for my arms This void and empty infinity will never cause me harm I somersault to view in awe a planet's colorful rings Stroked into place as by the brushes that a painter brings. Nebulae and gasses trundle through my eternety Sparkle with irridescence to shift and swerve about me Beyond I see a shooting star with tail that sparks and curls And beyond that a dying orb that contorts into swirls. I never wish to return home nor to see the ground again This pleasant sense of weightlessness is better company than men And each image is untainted by the travelling sense of time I feel so small among it all, this universe sublime. Forever I will drift out here among the orbs and clouds I will sift among the planets and in and out of shrouds Away from pain, away from gain, away from anxiety Surrounded by the beauty that only I can see.
Da_Yog Posted December 18, 2007 Report Posted December 18, 2007 As always, your imagery is your strong suit. Well done. And bravo on correct usage of sublime. I also liked the internal rhyme in the next to last line, it definitely provided a feel for an imenint climax and poetic end.
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