The I <3 Wyvern Club

[Degorram]

Degorram slammed her gavel onto the wooden table that was serving as her desk. "Attention!" she cried over the noise of laughter and idle chatter. "Attention! The first meeting of the I <3 Wyvern Club is now in session!"

 

The talking eventually died down and Degorram cleared her throat, pulling some paper from her folder to peer at them over a pair of thin spectacles. "Now, I know we all have different ideas of what we want to accomplish with the coming new year. I've got pleanty of ideas for projects and activities, but I need your help to make this club really thrive.

 

"First things first, I'll make some general announcements. Club dues are 15 geld every month, and they go to help sponser our activities and purchase food. Also, remember your behavior should be generally good: remember, we're supporting our love for Wyvern, and as we do this you should be courtious, kind, and outrageously flirtatious." Again she cleared her throat as many giggles and snorts filled the air.

 

"Now I'd like you to go around the circle and introduce yourselves so that I can write up a list of attenders. This will be our first activity. Say you name and why you have joined this club. Let the meeting begin!"

[Kikuyu_Black_Paws]

Kikuyu stood up, resplendant in her many I Wyvern pins and ribbons, as well as a shirt with a Wyvern crouching over a pile of Geld. She even licked casually on a large heart shaped lollipop with "Wyvern" carved into the front with white icing. Degoram gestured to her twin, a crooked smile crossing her lips. "As you can see, Kikuyu here is showing some of the projects we have already completed. You will be able to pick up your pins, ribbons, and lollipop of your choice in flavor. We have Black Raspberry, Cherry, Pina Colada, Chocolate, Root Beer, Bananna, Pinapple, Cream, Pomegranite, Chicken, Beef, Broccolli, Cheese, and- our featured flavor- Beer."

 

Kikuyu opened her arms to the crowd of Pennites below. "Welcome all. I am projects designer Kikuyu, and I have joined this club because I really do Wyvern. I owe him a few ill..erm...I mean, good turns." Kikuyu's mind quickly thought back to Halloween where she had been dumped into a puddle of water. Yes...some turns ought to do it. "So hello, and welcome to the I Wyvern Club!!!"

Edited November 16, 2007 by Kikuyu Black Paws

[Peredhil]

Peredhil stands, tosses his 15 geld into the Almost Dragonic Coin Receptacle, and speaks.

"Hi, I'm Peredhil."

"..." comes the response

"I've been a fan of Wyvern since the days of Archmage. His brilliance, his genius, his generosity." In rising horror, the crowd realizes Peredhil truly believes what he's saying, the rest of his response is lost in the confusion.

[Kikuyu_Black_Paws]

Kikuyu cuts Peredhil's speech off with a slight cough. "We could go on for days about Wyvern's many...erm...qualities. However, we must move on. As we said, purchases for the lollipops and badges and other various/sundry I <3 Wyvern accesories will be on sale at all times. But first, we must move on to our first activity!!!"

 

Kikuyu sweeps aside a large sheet to reveal assorted odds and ends, everything from buttons to mallets, to feathers to peppermints, to deflated ninja spandex suits, and then ending at the very end of the spectrum with neon skull caps. Some of them even had little waving spikes and horns.

 

"Our object is to dress up as Wyvern with the items we have here. The most creative, the most believable, and, of course, the most laughable will win a prize in rank as 1st, 2nd, and 3rd! Well, let's see you get to it!!"

[Inspector I. M Clueless]

A pile of green fabric resting on the corner of Kikuyu's display shifts and stirs. Inspector I. M Clueless pokes his head out from under the robes, then stands and brushes off a few skull caps that cling to his dark green cloak. The Inspector steps off of Kikuyu's display in a daze, glancing left and right at his unfamiliar surroundings. He digs a detective recording device out of one of his cloak pockets and clicks the "On" button.

 

"Date unknown, time unknown. After a very very very peaceful sleep, I awaken in what appears to be a police headquarters gearing up for a costume party. I'm in luck, for this is the next spot I was planning to visit in my continuing investigation for the missing detective overcoat. The people gathered here may provide new leads on my primary suspect: that dastardly no-do-gooder and personal archrival, Wyvern."

 

Clueless clicks the "Stop" button on his recorder, then hits the "Rewind" button, then presses "Play." And then realizes that there's no tape in the recorder. He mumbles something to himself and pulls out a magnifying glass with no lens. I. M Clueless then nods to the others in attendance and proceeds to examine the articles of clothing strewn out on Kikuyu's display, tapping his foot and clicking the "On" button on his tapeless recorder again...

 

"Hammers, stretchy black suits, mints, little round pieces of cloth... by my calculations, the display is all standard police gear."

Edited December 29, 2007 by Inspector I. M Clueless

[Kikuyu_Black_Paws]

Kikuyu shoved her way through the piles of junk/costuming and pulled some confettii from her hair. "Right. Get those costumes cracking. In other news, we'd like to herald our loving leader as the best Haiku creator of the Pennites. He really knows how to turn those phrases."

 

 

Met by blank stares all around, Kikuyu coughes nervously and reaches into her pocket. A half eaten candy bar and a piece of fake geld was all she found and she blushed. "Erm....well then. Get on with the costuming, or Dego here will...um...." Kikuyu lost her train of thought and stared at a floating balloon with a vacant stare...

[Wyvern]

"Well, I'm 'fraid that Finnius will forever be consssidered the Patron Saint of Haikusss, but I appreciate the thought Kikuyu!"

 

Kikuyu snaps from her reverie and turns at the sound of the familiar hiss, only to find herself disappointed as she stares at a troglyodyte holding a large crystal ball in his arms. On the crystal ball is the face of the one and only Wyvern himself, broadcasted to the fan club "masses" via live action incantation. Wyvern grins toothily at Kikuyu and Degorram as the troglyodyte grunts and hobbles through the room, nearly dropping the crystal ball several times before setting it upside down on a gold-painted podium. Wyvern blows kisses left and right and spreads his arms, his gestures looking like various handstands given the crystal ball's position.

 

"Thank you, thank you, yer too kind." Wyvern clears his throat of a few ashes, then presses his claws together and flicks his tongue out. "Faithful fanssss, thank you for your donations, constumesss, condiments, donations, words of praise, and donationsss. Come gather 'round, faithful followersss, for your personal icon and sex idol hasss a new mini-assignment and mission for you to look into."

 

Wyvern reaches somewhere off-screen and pulls up what appears to be a linear chart, with figures and increments too complicated to read upside down.

 

"Though we've managed to save for one or two Reportsss, the Almost Report continuesss to fail to generate a large income due to the Almost Intern Fashion Fund (as well as general damages to equipment, but that'sss another story)."

 

Wyvern points to some unidentifiable part of the chart.

 

"In the hopes of generating a bit of income for a Report or two, I am looking for tailors with keen senses of fashion, willing to design fancy dresses and outfits at no geld expense. And what better place to find them than my enthusssiastic fan club, where members are willing to give it their all for only a quarter of the price?"

 

Wyvern pulls his claw away from the chart and points it at the I <3 Wyvern Fan Club members, his sneer looking like a frown upside down.

 

"Sssso here's the deal... if yer interested, I would like you to design a dress or outfit for CheerMynx to wear on the Almost Report. The more detailed and intricate the design, the better. Note that you would only be designing the outfit itself, and it would be up to our resident cheerline to decide how she'd like to wear it. There will be a limit of only one dress submission per fan club member, ssso give yer one outfit desssign your all should you choose to do it. If you decide to make one, pleassse PM the outfit to Mynx rather than describing it here, jussst to keep things surprising. She'll find a way to eventually wear it during the Report or at another event, and will give the credit where it isss due."

 

Wyvern claps his claws together and snickers excitedly, then clears his throat again in an attempt regain his almost dragonic composure.

 

"Of courssse, you faithful fan club membersss will be rewarded with mentions on the Almossst Report, as well as my personal reaction to the dress you tailored. I'd also be happy to pay a much-delayed visssit to the club just to express my appreciation in full." Wyvern pulls on the chart again, and it flaps down off the screen. "Geld income gained as a result of this free tailoring should go straight to the Charity of Wyvern Scheming... though in all likelihood, the Almost Intern Fashion Fund will probably just get raisssed *whimsical sigh*"

 

;-)