Silver WInd Posted October 10, 2007 Report Posted October 10, 2007 The DarknessNightdraws sleepdreams will reapsilence descendswhile somewhere one will weepwithin the darkness time ascendsfrom the shadows images the mind bendsthe moon alone left to glow ethereal lightwhile the silver rays weaves, fear it mendsa cold warmth to the soul it sendstwisted the vines shall creepcareful it tendsit will seepin sleepnight.
Da_Yog Posted October 11, 2007 Report Posted October 11, 2007 1 2 3 4 6 8 10 12 9 8 6 4 3 2 1 Almost perfect syllabic symmetry. I imagine that was rather difficult to pull off. I find the oscillation between comforting and disquieting imagery to be intriguing. It presents the darkness as something to be welcomed and feared at the same time. Very interesting. I am curious about one thing though. Were lines 7 and 9 supposed to have the same syllable count, or was the symmetry supposed to be mostly visual? (I counted 10 syllables in line 7 and 9 syllables in line 9.)
Silver WInd Posted October 11, 2007 Author Report Posted October 11, 2007 Thank you, yes I rather enjoy that kind of enterplay with the darkness This is done in the style of Diatella, and the syllable cound should be: 1 2 3 4 6 8 10 12 10 8 6 4 3 2 1 Though it is possible I miscounted my syllabels within there somewhere It is a diffcult style espcially with the added ryhme scheme to having to follow a syllabic structure
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