Appy Posted October 10, 2007 Report Posted October 10, 2007 (edited) Scar Outer reflection of inner self Love the scar on my forehead then love the unseen scar beneath I've known pain before but this will be painless The door is open [10 oktober 2007, Den Haag] Edited October 20, 2014 by Appy
Silver WInd Posted October 10, 2007 Report Posted October 10, 2007 This is intresting, I really like it, and intresting style it is written in, I really like how it is strcutcured. It is simple and yet potent.
Tasslehoff Posted October 25, 2007 Report Posted October 25, 2007 Nice little poem Appy. Scars are a great reflection of someones life history. There is often some story of some sorts that always follows the question: " Where did you get that? ". Even emotional scars are something I think everyone should hold onto, cause they make us who we are.. who we will be.
Preprise Posted October 26, 2007 Report Posted October 26, 2007 (edited) I like it. It's about a certain degree of pain but not cliche or overly sentimental. Edit: Sorry forgot to check your profile, (would be nice to not have to and have the info handy, ahem) Anyway. The main emotion I got was intrigue then understanding. Followed by curiosity and satisfaction. Edited October 26, 2007 by Preprise
Appy Posted October 26, 2007 Author Report Posted October 26, 2007 Tas: Thank you. And sometimes outer scars reflect the ones within. Something I can show and which this poem is about Perprise: I can see the removal of "unseen".. good catch, thanks How would you improve the meter though? I am somewhat of a minimalist and the things I have to tell in this are all there in its purest form. To me, the meter didn't matter much when I wrote. I am curious as to how you would change it.
Appy Posted October 26, 2007 Author Report Posted October 26, 2007 Scar Outer reflection of inner self Love the scar on my forehead then love the scar beneath I've known pain before but this will be painless The door is open ~ Changed; see posts above ~
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