Da_Yog Posted October 8, 2007 Report Share Posted October 8, 2007 (edited) The New Gods I bear witness to the new gods! Fat Man and Little Boy incased in steel The might of Huitzilopoctli gleaming, smiling— Reflecting menacingly from their surface Anticipating the sacrifice of blood to come! I cringe at the rumble of the great western dragon As she roars in preparation for flight, A young god snuggled lovingly in her womb Ready to spring forth in full battle regalia! A weapon that makes Ares’ rage pale in significance. Not even the aegis of Athena offers protection! I crumble under a torrent of flame— Pouring from the mighty crucible That Hephaestus could not hope to contain! It is the flame the gods feared! The sin for which Prometheus will be eternally bound! I collapse under the rending, burning, disintegrating… The young god’s nubile wrath! Osiris—giver of life—shatters in its wake Could Horus ever be reborn from this? Were that Isis’ magic were so strong! Were that the gods of man’s imagination— Were stronger than those of his reality! Two days—two cataclysmic flashes— The might of Magni and Thor reduced to myth! The bones of Ymir and Surtur no more than aging fossils! Less threatening than a child’s fairy tale. All that is left is ancient Ragnarok Laid low by the new gods! Edited October 11, 2007 by Da_Yog Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silver WInd Posted October 8, 2007 Report Share Posted October 8, 2007 Oh wow, this is very poetent and powerful, nicely done. I love the way you referenced the many different gods Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Da_Yog Posted October 9, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 9, 2007 Oh wow, this is very poetent and powerful, nicely done. I love the way you referenced the many different gods Thanks, I love resurfacing old concepts of a timeless nature, especially those found in ancient mythologies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silver WInd Posted October 9, 2007 Report Share Posted October 9, 2007 Yes I agree with that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parmenion Posted October 12, 2007 Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 I am a huge fan of mythology Da_Yog and I think you have done very well in this new and bright idea. I did feel that you focused more towards the end on including as many gods as possible rather than developing a concept of beginning and end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Da_Yog Posted October 13, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 13, 2007 I am a huge fan of mythology Da_Yog and I think you have done very well in this new and bright idea. I did feel that you focused more towards the end on including as many gods as possible rather than developing a concept of beginning and end. Interesting notion. I had the opposite idea upon rereading it. I think there is more of a decided lack of Aztec gods in the first stanza. I thought perhaps to rework stanza one and try to work in Tezcatlipoca. Tezcatlipoca being the Aztec god of darkness, lies, and deceit. It would seem a fitting counterpoint to Huitzilopoctli's status as the god of war and the sun. The combination of the two hopefully reflecting the lie of reality and the truth of mythology. It's a thought anyway. In regards to your desire to see the god impact toned down, what specifically did you have in mind? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parmenion Posted October 15, 2007 Report Share Posted October 15, 2007 Your idea sounds like a good one. Regarding seeing the god impact "toned down". You misunderstood me. Stanza 1 = 1 god mentioned Stanza 2 = 2 gods mentioned Stanza 3 = 2 Stanza 4 = 3 Stanza 5 = 4/5 In the start of the poem there is much more flavour text associated with the mentioned gods which I really liked. Later on - that diminshes considerably. I enjoyed this poem a lot and was wondering if perhaps it is something that might have the working of an epic. A story re-told or told mixing the gods up, elongating it and allowing more flavour text like the first few stanzas. As is - I really enjoy it. Merely prodding its potential is all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Da_Yog Posted October 24, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 24, 2007 (edited) I made a few changes. I swapped out Ymir and Surtur for Jormungandr largely because of the great connectivity and interlocking nature of the legends of Thor and Jormungandr. The other change is in the last words of lines six and seven of stanza four. The rhyme is no accident and the coupling of rhyme and imposed stop of punctuation hopefully entices the reader to reread those two lines. This was done for two reasons: 1) to get the reader to contemplate the difference between mysticism and rationalism and 2) to reinforce the undercurrent of conflict between those two competing notions in the poem. I did contemplate including Tezcatlipoca but decided against it for now as it would include too much in the first stanza. Already there are Fat Man, Little Boy, and Huitzilopoctli. Introducing another conflict seems a bit much...But I'm still kicking the idea around. The New Gods I bear witness to the new gods! Fat Man and Little Boy encased in steel The might of Huitzilopoctli gleaming, smiling— Reflecting menacingly from their surface Anticipating the sacrifice of blood to come! I cringe at the rumble of the great western dragon As she roars in preparation for flight, A young god snuggled lovingly in her womb Ready to spring forth in full battle regalia! A weapon that makes Ares’ rage pale in significance. Not even the aegis of Athena offers protection! I crumble under a torrent of flame— Pouring from the mighty crucible That Hephaestus could not hope to contain! It is the flame the gods feared! The sin for which Prometheus will be eternally bound! I collapse under the rending, burning, disintegrating… The young god’s nubile wrath! Osiris—giver of life—shatters in its wake Could Horus ever be reborn from this? Were that Isis’ magic were so strong! Were that the gods of man’s mysticism— Were stronger than those of man's rationalism! Two days—two cataclysmic flashes— The might of Magni and Thor reduced to myth! The bones of Jormungandr no more than aging fossils! Less threatening than a child’s fairy tale. All that is left is ancient Ragnarok Laid low by the new gods! Edited October 24, 2007 by Da_Yog Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Da_Yog Posted October 24, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 24, 2007 (edited) I thought I'd throw in some footnotes seeing as this poem is way too much like a TS Eliot poem. Don't rub it in. I am breaking out in hives just admiting the similarity. So if you need them, here they are. If you don't, then ignore them. Fat Man and Little Boy—The two atomic bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Nuff said. Huitzilopoctli—The Aztec god of war and the sun. A violent sort who was born into the world wearing his full armor and weapons. Upon being born he immediately began killing his brothers and sisters. A real friendly sort of chap. At any rate a sizeable portion of the sacrifices made at Aztec alters were made in his honor. Ares—A Greek God of war. Not much of a thinker. More a "kill first and ask questions later" kind of war god. Athena—Goddess of war and wisdom. Probably most appropriately she should be referred to as the daughter of wisdom as her mother was the Goddess of Wisdom. But seeing as Zeus swallowed her mother to prevent Athena's birth I guess she's the only wisdom left in Olympus. Strangely enough Athena was still born bursting forth from Zeus' head wearing full battle regalia. She did not go about trying to kill her brothers and sisters. Hephaestus—The misshapen smith of the gods. If was from Hephaestus' forge that Prometheus stole the fire he gave to man. Prometheus—Not a god at all but a Titan. He took pity on man and brought them the gift of fire. Often interpreted as a gift of knowledge, setting man on a path of discovery. His punishment for giving man this gift? He was chained to a mountain where three harpies would tear out his liver every morning. Then throughout the day he would heal only to have the assault repeated on the next day. But the gods were not done. They gave man a gift also. They gave him a woman, Pandora. Pandora would release all the evils upon the world except hope. Hope stayed in the box. Osiris—Egyptian god of life, death, and fertility. He made the Nile flood bringing prosperity to Egypt. Unfortunately Set didn't like him much and betrayed him scattering his body into seven pieces. Isis—Egyptian god of the throne-mother. Wife and sister to Osiris. Protector of the canopic jar of the liver. She recovered Osiris' seven pieces and brought him back to life as her son Horus. Horus—The god of the sky. Originally the son of Hathor. (He changes quite a bit throughout egyptian history.) Eventually he is seen as Osiris reborn and takes on an aspect of being the pharaoh reborn with Isis being the mother or wife of the pharoah (depending on what dynasy you are looking at). Magni—The son of Thor and the Norse god of Strength. He will survive Ragnarok. Thor—It's Thor for gods sake! Norse god of thunder. Nuff said. Jormungandr—The world serpent. The second son of Loki. Odin cast him into the sea and he eventually grew so large that he wrapped around the world and was able to bite his own tail. At Ragnarok Thor fights Jormungandr and slays him, then take nine steps and dies from Jormungandr's venom. Ragnarok—The Norse Apocalypse. Just about everything dies except for Magni and one or two other gods. Edited October 24, 2007 by Da_Yog Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parmenion Posted October 24, 2007 Report Share Posted October 24, 2007 Thank you so much for putting the time and effort into both the poem and the post. For me, this is the best piece I have read all year. Congrats on an exceptional poem, I am grateful that you shared it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Da_Yog Posted October 24, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 24, 2007 High praise indeed. Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Da_Yog Posted November 13, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 13, 2007 (edited) This poem was selected by the honors society at my school as a feature in their next newsletter. I was asked to provide an introduction as well as some other details concerning the poem. I thought I'd throw this extra info in should anyone wish to read it. I still need to verify the Titan A.E. quote. (I remember it being very close to this.) Looks like not all the superscripts are worknig properly. *shrug* I began writing back in high-school, some twenty-one years ago. (I’m sure many of you weren’t born yet. Don’t rub it in.) My junior and senior years I had a few works printed in McEachern High’s “The Laureate”—an annual literary magazine and then promptly forgot about writing completely. I suppose it was partly the idea of going to The Georgia Institute of Technology that banished writing from my mind. The intense study in highly technical areas didn’t seem compatible with subjective musings of a writer’s interests. Or perhaps I didn’t want to admit to being good at the subjective as well as the objective. At any rate, this time in my life had a profound influence on this poem. Later in life while watching the movie Titan A.E., I was haunted by the narrator’s voice as he said, “Once in a great while mankind makes a discovery that will forever change history: fire, splitting the atom…” I thought of this as I pondered our own experience in splitting the atom. What makes these discoveries stand out as great? How do they shape our lives and our thoughts? Do we define the discovery? Does the discovery define us? Are all “great” discoveries surrounded by war, death, and cataclysm? Finally, a wistful nostalgia for mysticism led me to ponder a poem—a poem both ancient and new. A poem seen in terms of gods: gods of war, gods of wisdom, gods of might and magic, gods doomed to die. But we are never without our gods! We forever hold up new ideals, new knowledge, new philosophies and worship at bronzed altars of modernity. And so the new gods take shape and wander among the thoughts of men even today. The New Gods I bear witness to the new gods! Fat Man and Little Boy encased in steel The might of Huitzilopoctli gleaming, smiling— Reflecting menacingly from their surface Anticipating the sacrifice of blood to come! I cringe at the rumble of the great western dragon As she roars in preparation for flight, A young god snuggled lovingly in her womb Ready to spring forth in full battle regalia! A weapon that makes Ares’ rage pale in significance. Not even the aegis of Athena offers protection! I crumble under a torrent of flame— Pouring from the mighty crucible That Hephaestus could not hope to contain! It is the flame the gods feared! The sin for which Prometheus will be eternally bound!6 I collapse under the rending, burning, disintegrating… The young god’s nubile wrath! Osiris—giver of life—shatters in its wake7 Could Horus ever be reborn from this?8 Were that Isis’ magic were so strong!9 Were that the gods of man’s mysticism— Were stronger than those of man's rationalism! Two days—two cataclysmic flashes— The might of Magni and Thor reduced to myth!10 The bones of Jormungandr no more than aging fossils!11 Less threatening than a child’s fairy tale. All that is left is ancient Ragnarok12 Laid low by the new gods! 1Fat Man and Little Boy—the two atomic bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki respectively. Nuff said. 2Huitzilopoctli—the Aztec god of war and the sun. He is a rather violent deity who was born into the world wearing his full armor and weapons. Upon being born he immediately began killing his brothers and sisters. A real friendly sort of chap. At any rate a sizeable portion of the sacrifices made at Aztec alters were made in his honor. 3Ares—a Greek God of war. Not much of a thinker. More a "kill first and ask questions later" kind of war god. 4Athena—goddess of war and wisdom. Probably most appropriately she should be referred to as the daughter of wisdom as her mother was the Goddess of Wisdom. Seeing as Zeus swallowed her mother to prevent Athena's birth, I guess she's the only wisdom left in Olympus. Strangely enough Athena was born anyway, bursting forth from Zeus' head wearing full battle regalia. She did not go about trying to kill her brothers and sisters. 5Hephaestus—the misshapen smith of the gods. If was from Hephaestus' forge that Prometheus stole the fire he gave to man. 6Prometheus—not a god at all but a Titan. He took pity on man and brought them the gift of fire. The fire is often interpreted as a gift of knowledge, setting man on a path of discovery. What was his punishment for giving man this gift? He was chained to a mountain where three harpies would tear out his liver every morning. Throughout the day he would heal, only to have the assault repeated on the next day. But the gods were not done. They gave man a gift also. They gave him a woman, Pandora. Pandora would release all the evils upon the world except hope. Hope stayed in the box. 7Osiris—Egyptian god of life, death, and fertility. He made the Nile flood bringing prosperity to Egypt. Unfortunately Set didn't like him much and betrayed him scattering his body into seven pieces. 8Isis—Egyptian god of the throne-mother. Wife and sister to Osiris. She was protector of the canopic jar of the liver. She recovered Osiris' seven pieces and brought him back to life as her son Horus. 9Horus—the god of the sky. Originally the son of Hathor. (He changes quite a bit throughout Egyptian history.) Eventually he is seen as Osiris reborn and takes on an aspect of being the pharaoh reborn with Isis being the mother or wife of the pharaoh (depending on what dynasty you are looking at). 10Magni—the son of Thor and the Norse god of Strength. He will survive Ragnarok. Thor—it's Thor for gods sake! The Norse god of thunder. Nuff said. 11Jormungandr—the world serpent, the second son of Loki. Odin cast him into the sea and he eventually grew so large that he wrapped around the world and was able to bite his own tail. At Ragnarok Thor fights Jormungandr and slays him, then take nine steps and dies from Jormungandr's venom. 12Ragnarok—the Norse Apocalypse. Just about everything dies except for Magni and one or two other gods. Edited November 13, 2007 by Da_Yog Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reverie Posted November 13, 2007 Report Share Posted November 13, 2007 (edited) ya know highly technical fields and literally creativity aren't mutual exclusive. A poet, prose writer, and RPG extrodenaire ( who'd I'd also wager is best we're ever had at the pen poet wise) who used to frequent this site did about a decade or so in molecular biology (or similar) before deciding to take a different track in theology. I did satellite communications for a few years when I was in Army, but I pretty much hated it. too much math and schematics to trace for me, before that I was mechanic (also in Army). And Peredhil did something with computers way back when. The Human mind is a beautiful, flexible thing. Congrats on the publication. rev... Edited November 13, 2007 by reverie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Da_Yog Posted November 13, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 13, 2007 ya know highly technical fields and literally creativity aren't mutual exclusive. A poet, prose writer, and RPG extrodenaire ( who'd I'd also wager is best we're ever had at the pen poet wise) who used to frequent this site did about a decade or so in molecular biology (or similar) before deciding to take a different track in theology. I did satellite communications for a few years when I was in Army, but I pretty much hated it. too much math and schematics to trace for me, before that I was mechanic (also in Army). And Peredhil did something with computers way back when. The Human mind is a beautiful, flexible thing. Congrats on the publication. rev... Yeah, it wasn't until I was older and a bit wiser that I realized such things. It is strange how societal expectations and reality don't mesh. At any rate I'm significantly happier with both. I also tend to write a good deal about the conflict between the highly rational and the highly emotional—usually from the perspective of a lament for emotion. Thanks on the congrats. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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