Greetings

[Researcher]

Things happened faster than Professor Hassium thought possible, but then time seemed to go back to normal after the tangerine bullet. He looked down to his chest, and grunted in a most displeased way as he saw the mess his immaculate lab coat was.

 

He considered pulling Guinea Pig out of his pocket, preferably dangling by one ear - that little rodent had given him a lot of trouble since the day it was born in the biotery - but there was something so utterly guinea-piggyish in his placid licking of tangerine fluids, that he just sighed.

 

Of course, he also had very clear in his mind that the little creature had clearly spoken, and he decided that it was better to not scare it if he could avoid it.

 

All of a sudden, he thought he saw a rat-like shadow dart from under one of the tables, right from between the arms of a big-moustached man. And then the weirdly pale-looking gaunt man, who he later on would recall having becoming incorporeal for a few seconds, gave a most undignified yelp and raised his ankle.

 

"If that was a guinea pig," professor Hassium peeked over Venefyxatu's arm to look at the small teeth marks on his ankle, "I'd suggest you to have a shot of something against rabbies. You never know where they come from. In my lab they're safe, of course, but that one..."

 

He trailed his look towards the table where Mynx and Tanny were talking, observing a cute little kitten diving under the table.

 

Shaking his head, the professor looked down again at his pocket, and this time he met Pig's eyes.

 

"So, little troublesome one, are you happy with the mess you made on my lab coat?"

 

 

Whatever the little rodent might answer, it was delayed a bit by the crash-entrance of a drunken man who was led to the same table the curious girls... were they girls? ... sat. The guy he was sure had been an owl ready to dine his test Guinea Pig stood up to make an announcement, and the professor smiled and offered his congratualtions to the one named Whisky in Babylon before taking a spray can from his pocket and start spraying his lab coat, careful to keep Pig on his pocket.

 

"Well, so I was asking you about my lab, little one." He sprayed his cleaning liquid right besides Pig, but in an impulse left a patch of tangerine goo for him to lick. "Since when do you talk?"

 

At the same time, he was most curious about that other guinea pig, and started to slowly approach that other table.

 

 

 

 

 

OOC: Congratulations to Whisky in Babylon for the achievement!

Edited September 23, 2007 by TheResearcher

[Venefyxatu]

Venefyxatu was still rubbing his sore ankle when the scientist approached him and said something about a rabies shot. The necromancer couldn't help but answer drily, "Thank you ... but I doubt that'll be a problem. If you'll excuse me for a moment?"

 

After a nod from TheResearcher, Venefyxatu moved over to Whisky in Babylon to congratulate her, nodding a greeting to Tanny and Mynx on the way, wondering who the drunken guy was.

 

OOC: Congrats

[Wyvern]

Wyvern slowly lifts himself from behind a Cabaret chair that's been soaked in tangerine juice. The overgrown lizard glances in both directions to make sure that the firing has stopped, then curses and peels the tangerine skin from between his scales. He reaches for a whole tangerine still impaled on his right horn and grips it, squeezing it and letting the juice run down his snout as thoughts of the skeletal rodent responsible make him grit his teeth. Wyvern lets a few drops of tangerine juice fall on the tips of his forked tongue, then brushes a few remaining peels from his shoulders and wanders back over to Professor Hassium.

 

"*Ahem* My apologiessss for the interruption. Next time I do business in the Cabaret Room, I'll be sssure to pack an Almost Dragonic Brand Rotten Cherry Gatling Gun™ jussst in case."

 

Wyvern lets out an awkward and prolonged laugh while The Researcher raises a brow, wondering if the lizard is serious or just kidding around.

 

"Now then, about your little proposssal." Wyvern lifts his document, which is barely legible in its tangerine-soaked state, and points at a particularly soggy clause. "Clause XXIX states that any infringement that causes a relocation of private property will resssult in a 500 geld fine. Meaning that the total geld due would need to be raised to 1300 geld (rounded up)."

 

Wyvern rubs his claws together and suppresses a snicker of anticipation.

 

"Waddaya say, doc?"

[The Death of Rats]

Despite himself, Bartleby gives a small yelp when he sees a balde glint next to him. Spinning round as he cries out, the balde reveals itself to be attache dto the scythe of the rat-like individual who seems to have abandoned his tangerine weapon on the barstool in favor of the much more suitably striking scythe (six inches long though it may be).

 

SQUEAK, it comments hollowly. Its bony whiskers twitch once in...amusement? Comradeship? Before, just as suddenly, the creature is gone.

 

Nearby, Ozymandias, oblivious to the proceedings by his right leg, ventures a cautious look across the tabletop. The first thing to catch his eye is a small, red light blinking quietly on the side of the tangerine gun. Eyeing it quizaclly, the old king hoists himself to his feet with a grunt (and a hastily offered apology as he nearly brings his forehead into Tanucahn's chin by doing so).

 

The light begins to flash a bit more quickly. A tiny wisp of smoke is still curling from the hot barrel. Ozymandias' eyebrows shoot up again, this time in alarm.

 

"Ah- er, ah..." saith the once and former pahraoh.

 

 

Quoth the strange metal object,

 

deet

 

deet

 

deet

 

deet

 

DEET

 

DEET...

Edited September 25, 2007 by The Death of Rats

[Degorram]

Walking down the hall, Degorram heard a great amount of squeaking and almost-dragonic chuckling. Well, the chuckling she recognised immidiately: Wyvern was about, collecting money from some poor soul or other. The one wasn't her concern (though she'd certainly drop in to watch the entertainment) but squeaking? In the Pen Complex? There was no end of sounds among her pen-bearing comrades, as some had animal qualities and some, like herself, could change shape, but this squeaking was foreign to her delicate ears. What was it.....baby chicken? No...deranged mouse? No. It was on the tip of her tongue, which was shifting into that of a snake as she thought.

 

Walking around the corner she came side to side with the swindling dragon himself. The man standing before him was solemn at best, his brow raised as if he had just tried to comprehend a bad joke. For some reason Wyvern was covered in an orange, gooey substance, and the air smelled of citrus.

 

"Wyvern," I said in a greeting, leaning delicately on his soggy, scaley shoulder. "How's life my friend?"

 

"Orange," he replied. "Well, actually, tangerine." He looked at me with a slight air of nervousness. "You don't have any feathersssss on you....?"

 

I laughed and flickered my black, forked tongue out at him playfully. "Not at the moment." Again the squaking assaulted my ears, which twitched in the direction of the ever fading noise. "What is that squeaking?"

 

"I believe it'sssssss a guinea pig," Wyvern replied, fastening his eyes back on the Researcher. "Ssssso, 1300 geld..."

 

"Rounded up," the Researcher finished for him, his bland tone belying that he was not pleased about the dragon's math.

 

"Of coursssssse," Wyvern replied with a squinty grin.

 

"Levying out fines again, are we?" I asked. "What's going on Wyvern? You're covered in..." I extended my tongue and licked some of the pulp off of his shoulder, "liquified tangerines. This all sounds like something I'd like to get in on." I grinned wolfishly in his face.

[Tanuchan]

Tanny looked at Stephen with a mix of astonishment and incredulity, spiced with a pinch of disgust and worry.

 

"He's... drunk?!" she whispered, as Patham helped him towards their table.

 

"I'd say it seems to, Wuffie... " Mynx chuckled, using one of her kitten minions to examine Stephen from head to toes. "And very happy about it, too."

 

As Stephen sat rather heavily between Mynx and herself, Tanny gave him her most stern glare. "Stephem Hascodem, you're drunk!"

 

"Mmmhmmm?" Stephen grinned toothily, nodding appreciatively in his friend's general direction. "Naw... 'fcursnot... jusht a tad... thpshy... g'whssksy they hav..."

 

He smelled the drinks on the table with interest, wondering a bit about the furry, warm something that kept escaping his fingers as he tried to grab the glasses. He kept missing, until Mynx wrapped his fingers around a mug.

 

"Wssksy?"

 

"No. Coffee. Black." Mynx had a very firm voice, thought Stephen, trying to decide whether he should drink that.

 

::Silly ranger.... you should know better! How could you even think about promoting whisky without remembering Whisky?::

 

Stephen frowned at that, and Tanny rolled eyes as the muddled answer came, ::You'r... bab... dabbln... whisshky's whisksy...::

 

"Just drink that." She said with finality, noticing Venefyxatu and waving to him, inviting him to join their table.

 

Mynx muttered something, and Tanny turned at The Researcher as Mynx completed, "I wonder if he's planning to turn us into test subjects... you'd think people has never seen bipedal tigresses before..."

 

Tanny refrained from commenting that, and then waved also to Whisky in Babylon to shout a warm congratulation to her.

[Blby]

"Rabies indeed!" Blby muttered to himself. Someone would have to have a talk with that researcher.

 

But for now? Blby really did want to see the other guinea pig again. The problem was that man wanted to take Pig away. Didn't seem polite anyhows. One didn't want to be kidnapped oneself, but perhaps if one took precautions one could talk to the researcher. He turned to his table companions and said "Don't let him kidnap me, but I think I"d like to invite that researcher here." Turning to Death of Rats, Blby said the same thing in his own native tongue (after all Death of Rats seemed rather formidable though his motives were unclear).

 

Then he raised his voice, "Mr. Researcher sir, would you like to come have a drink with us before you go?"

 

"The researcher looked at the table, puzzled by the small voice he heard. And as he identified the small guy beckoning at him, he blinked in surprise.

 

Another talking guinea pig?!

 

Aloud he tried to disguise his surprise. "Eh... sure... you seem to have a nice choice of drinks in there..."

 

He patted his pocket to make sure Guinea Pig was still there, and turned to the lizard that was still talking about geld. "Hmm... I'm afraid my geld is a bit ... compromised right now. You see, I'm in the middle of a project and I actually need all the help I can get. Wouldn't you be interested in investing that geld on it? If i'm succesfull, the profits will be really high."

 

Blby smiled to himself. Perfect. Now, what next? Was the researcher likely to free Pig? No, he seemed pretty keen on keeping Pig, but

 

DEET

 

DEET

 

DaBOOOM

 

Fragments of tangerine went everywhere. Degorram ducked slightly, mostly shielded by the lizard. Wyvern himself might have stood through the explosion if he hadn't been hit in the face by a tangerine covered owl. Patham was the straw that knocked the lizard backwards. Wyvern went flailing, muttering somethign about AlmostDraconic Bomb Shelters.

 

He reached something and began to pull himself up with it. Now, Mynx naturally had stayed where she was-a tigress wasn't easy to knock over. However, once Wyvern pulled her chair out from under her there was no help for it but to fall flat on top of him. To give her credit, she fell as dignifiedly as one can. Wyvern, on the other hand, just flattened underneath the weight.

 

"I bet he'll want retribution for that" Blby commented helpfully. He turned towards Death of Rats, "Do you think he'll ask you for the retributions?" Even guinea pigs can smile and Blby definitely proved it as he pictured that.

 

The Researcher side-stepped the flying tangerines, but still one caught him on the shoulder and went oozing down the jacket. Suddenly Blby had a purpose. Now that counts as a distraction!

 

He jumped mightily to the researcher! Now was the time for mighty freedom rescue! He sailed through the air ...

 

 

And fell flop into the wrong pocket.

 

ACK! Panic! Ignominious scampering! Wiggle-fuss!!!

 

Blby was stuck in The Researcher's lower left pocket.

 

OOC: Thanks to The Researcher for answering my questions and giving me his lines/actions.

Edited September 26, 2007 by Blby

[Guinea Pig]

Tangerine oozed down from Professor Hassium's shoulder and down into the pocket that Pig was inside. Now, the tangerine on the side of the pocket had slowly started to run out, so Pig's eyes widened in guinea pigish joy as he threw himself at this new treat that fell from the sky. And so, oblivious to what was still going on around him, oblivious to all the mayhem of tangerine weapons, of people, owls, wyverns and tigresses being thrown about the place, he continued licking at tangerine.

[Tanuchan]

"Ack!"

 

Tanny ducked without thinking twice, at the same time shapechanging into a wolf for the agility it gave her. Part of her mind saw an owl splattering against Wyv, and wondered when Patham had changed back. Hope seeing guinea pigs isn't making a mess of his owl insctincts... She chuckled despite the situation, promptly peeking just a nose out from under the table to see what had happened. She had just the time to hear Mynx' muffled oath as she fell on Wyvern.

 

And she'll claim she has used all her feline grace, I'm sure.... better not tell her what I saw... An amused glint came to her eyes, and then she blinked as she saw a blur of movement towards the researcher's lab coat. It was almost too fast for her to see, but she was sure that their little guest had, for some reason, jumped straight into his pocket.

 

Then something heavy fell on her, squeezing all breath out of herself. Her fangs snapped back at her attacker, and Stephen nearly got his ear snapped off.

 

::Stephen! This is not funny, get yourself off!::

 

The drunk ranger blinked warily, a hand checking his ear while his mind tried to correlate the smell of tangerines, the sudden instinctive urge to duck out of trouble's way, and the softly furred shape just under him.

[Venefyxatu]

Stephen giggled rather un-Stephen-like.

 

"Isfunnytoo! C'mere Wuffie!"

 

Giving the squeezed Tanny a hug, he staggered more or less upright and, grabbing his staff, started feeling around for what the tangerine smell was all about. Due to his drunkenness, however, this didn't happen as calmly as it usually would - some shins were banged, in between the staff being used for support.

One of the Guinea pigs in The Researcher's pockets was probably less than pleased when something heavy briefly stumbled into said scientist, either ...

 

"Whee?"

[Patrick]

It had only been his extraordinary reflexes in transforming into an owl that saved Patham's sensitive parts from being hit by tangerine. Yet the smaller weight as an owl sent him careening into Wyvern and in the whole mess Mynx was also brought down. Luckily he fell not on Wyvern but next to him. Shakily Patham stood up and shifted back to his human form, tangerine covering him head to toes.

 

He brushed a large bit of tangerine out of his hair and tried to clear the liquid from his eyes. An empty chair presented itself to him and he sat down, not knowing that Stephen was going to sit back down. Whether the ranger really wanted to sit down, or it was the alcohol that brought him down, didn't change the end result for Patham: a ranger falling heavily into his lap as he rubbed his eyes free of tangerine.

 

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!" he cried out in shock.

[Wyvern]

Wyvern moans in his twisted position on the Cabaret rug, slowly lifting a claw to his bloody snout. The crash landing hadn't harmed the lizard in any way, but the combination of Degorram's suggestive taste test and the position of Mynx's crash landing had caused the heat to go to the reptilian Elder's head again. Wyvern lets out a long quiet hiss as he carefully lifts one of Mynx's legs, crawling out from under the pennite heap with a hoarse cough and a gasp. He squirms his way across the carpet, collecting more tangerine peels on his scales with each jerky motion. By the time the lizard reaches one of the Cabaret couches and lifts himself with a dizzy swagger, he already looks like an almost dragonic orange peeler.

 

"Eeccchhhh." Wyvern lifts one of his arms and begins plucking the tangerine peels from it, remnants of a deep blush still present on his scaly face. The overgrown lizard pauses as he notices the way that the fruit skins cling, and glances around at the abundance of peels scattered around the chamber. "Hrrmmmm."

 

Wyvern pulls a sheet of blank paper from his Devil's Advocate folder and licks the tangerine juice from his lips.

 

"Almost Dragonic Brand Luxury Tangerine Skin Coats™...?" Wyvern begins scribbling messy outlines for a clothing line, jotting down Gwaihir's Greenhouse as a potential spot to tap for natural resources. "Yesssss. Posssssibly a line of tangerine skin mittens for handling angry fruit protestors as well...."

[Venefyxatu]

Just when he was done staggering about a room that seemed to be trying to get away from him in all directions at once, someone yelled into Stephen's ear. This was just a bit more than the ranger's sensitive hearing could handle, so he scrambled away, stumbling into the table, the researcher, the almost dragon, another table, two chairs, an owlperson, and finally the floor. For now, he decided it might be safest if he just stayed there ...

 

What was with all the tangerine smell, anyway?

[Researcher]

The Researcher glared at the offending tangerine on his shoulder, barely noticing the slightly added weight to his left lower pocket as Blby fell into it. One of his hands checked the lump on his breast pocket, and Guinea Pig giggled because it tickled him. The other hand hovered near the lower left pocket, ready to take the cleaning spray again.

 

Then, suddenly something thumped him heavily in the vicinity of said pocket. He reeled, gasping and instinctively turning to protect some sensitive parts from further assault. His left hand brushed against the occupied lower pocket, and he frowned.

 

What? It usually doesn't have lumps... unless it's at near full capacity...

 

He looked down, and lifted eyebrows in surprise as he saw another guinea pig - this one wriggling in a frenzy. He picked it by the scruff of his neck, noticing he was actually wearing a shirt and didn't look as guinea-piggish as his guinea pig. He frowned, but then Stephen bumped on him - making him drop Blby.

 

The guinea pig scurried away, squeaking something... but The Researcher was quite sure that it was the small figure that had called him from the table.

 

Another talking guinea pig?

 

Curious, he decided that he'd better stay around, and approached the table where Tanny and Mynx had been. Arching his eyebrows, he looked at the stunned Patham, at Mynx spluttering on the floor, and at Tanny looking all bewildered. With a nonchalant face, he sat down - checking first to be sure there wouldn't be any giant lizard on his way - and grabbed one of the drinks.

[Venefyxatu]

OOC: Thanks for cowriting, Tanny

 

After congratulating Whiskey, Venefyxatu moved over to Tanuchan, carefully picking his way in between the splattered tangerines.

"Tanuchan ... I see that you've mostly managed to avoid the ... shall we call it a Pennite Pyramid?"

 

Tanny grimaced, and shook herself heartily. Then she sat down and shifted back to human form, making sure first that there was no tangerines around her - or even the shadow of tangerines, since she couldn't avoid the smell.

 

"I'm not so sure I escaped it.... " She accepted Venefyxatu's hand and stood up. "Where is that obnoxious drunk ranger now?" She surveyed the room, sighing.

 

"Well ... the only drunk person I've seen in here looks like he's decided the floor is the most interesting place of the room all of a sudden ..."

 

That made Tanny scan the floor, and she chuckled as she located her drunk friend trying to make himself one with the floor.

 

:: Stephen, this is ridiculous... you can't even say that you're trying to listen to something by glueing your ear to the ground... C'mon, get up. ::

 

:: I'm up .. you're left ... I think ...::

 

Not quite aware of their mental link, but feeling some energy being manipulated, Venefyxatu frowned briefly and readied a few guards. It was probably nothing, especially here at the Pen, but better safe than sorry ...

"It looks like he doesn't intend to go anywhere soon ... would you need some help moving him?"

 

"Hmmm..." Tanny looked at Stephen, shook her head, and then looked at Venefyxatu. "Yes, I think I do. I can't possibly lift that log-like drunk silly ranger. At most, I could try to truss him up with vines and just drag him to the left... since he thinks he's up."

 

A hesitant voice came from the ground, "There'sss no need f'r dragging. Or dragon. Almost." It didn't quite seem to know how to go on, so it just trailed off, probably because the owner was wondering what he'd been saying.

 

Shaking her head, Tanny just looked helplessly at the nether mage.

 

"I'm no expert, he's too alive for that, but I do believe he could do with some rest. Do you know a suitable place where we could leave him?"

 

"Couldn't we just leave him where he is? That would teach him not to get drunk ..."

 

"Hmm ... I'm afraid he's going to be in the way there. Can you visualise his resting place?"

 

Tanny sighed, but then a slow, wicked grin appeared in her lips. "Sure... there..." She thought hard in a special resting place.

 

Venefyxatu concentrated on trying to pick up Tanny's idea of a place for Stephen to rest. After a few moments, he started to see it in front of him and closed his eyes to make it more clear. Frowning briefly at her odd choice, and then chuckling inwardly as his strange sense of humour gave him an idea, he also thought of a bunch of feathers he had in his study. It didn't take long for him to conjure up the spell and make his mind fall in line with it - softly muttering the words and delicately weaving his fingers to guide him through. When it was done, both Tanuchan and Stephen were gone from the Cabaret Room... and the feathers were no longer in his study, either...

 

A few very surprised birds flew up from the oak in the Courtyard when all of a sudden a half-asleep ranger and a most surprised shapechanger appeared a few branches below them. The nest-like branches were exactly the place Tanny had had in mind - although she hadn't quite visualised the feathers drifting down around them ...

 

Chuckling softly to himself, Venefyxatu left the Cabaret Room to go and meditate on the little graveyard in the forest surrounding the keep ...

[Blby]

As The Researcher picked up Blby, Blby erupted into comments. Of course, Professor Hassium might have been more likely to notice if Blby hadn't automatically started speaking in his native language--squeaks!

 

"What am I doing here? Let me out! I object!

 

"Wait! Ummm! What are you doing with me? No! Don't grab me by my neck! That's rude! HEY!"

 

Desperation, confusion, kick! Wiggle, shake kicking all the time.

 

HAH, dropped. Free!

 

Woah. Where am I? Big, flat, and wwwheeew, this is scary-high up! AH, perhaps a counter?

 

"Hello, someone please move me? I really don't like it up here!"

 

Might get more answers if I didn't speak in guinea pigish.

 

 

"Umm, hello! Friends, Romans, Guinea Pigs, Lend me your .... transportation!"

[Peredhil]

Guido stood in the doorway, filling it nicely. Three hundred-twenty-nine pounds of (dieting) Giant Guinea Pig, dressed in a neat tuxedo. He adjusted his fedora and blinked large warm eyes at the mayhem, then smiled.

"Hey, youse guys started anudder party wit' out me!"

Sniffing and wrinking a bit at the citrus air freshener they were using, he began picking his way through the mess that usually accompanied a Wyvern-sighting.

Although this one was exceptional.

"Wow, whadda orc-sty! Youse guys bedder gets dis cleaned up before da Boss shows up. You knows he'd feel he hadda clean it up for youse all."

[Venefyxatu]

Out on the graveyard, Venefyxatu pulled a feather from one of his pockets with a chuckle, letting it drift away on the wind ...

 

 

OOC : Link goes to the result of the Necromancer's sense of humour ... one more post from a surprised Wolf-Lady should wrap that up at least ... the mess is for the rest of you guys

Edited October 9, 2007 by Venefyxatu

[Blby]

OOC: Note there are references to this post and the following one here. You might want to read them first.

 

Also, Peredhil, I'm not sure if Guido and Nuncio are twins or not. I'm assuming here that they are at least distinguishable to a stranger. Apologies if I got it wrong.

 

IC:

Blby scurried back into the Cabaret room. It seemed safer here.

 

ANOTHER ONE! The gods are among us here!

 

Blby promptly ran over to Guido's feet and abased himself, nose to the ground.

 

"Greetings, Almighty One! I exalt you although I know not who you are.

 

Be forgiving please, I am but a young and foolish guinea!"