Regel Posted September 5, 2007 Report Posted September 5, 2007 It's funny when it happens It surprises me even now People that think they know me Then gape when I furrow my brow They crossed the line While thinking the deal was done But there was something in my voice Was I serious,or just having fun? I often start off slowly Repeating what they said Then peel away their certainty And fill their heart with dread. You stupid ignorant moron! Did you think I would smile and grin? When your words they did offend me And your manners are mighty thin. There is no happy ending here You should have stayed in school As my anger sends you packing You realize I will not suffer fools. ---------------------------------- My ode to telephone solicitors
Wyvern Posted September 6, 2007 Report Posted September 6, 2007 Wyvern steps into the Banquet Hall wearing a tacky suite covered in glittery green dollar bin symbols and puffy crimson gloves. The reptilian Elder adjusts the gold bar tie that's been knotted too low and tight around his neck, then passes by Silver Wind with a wink and wanders up to Regel. He taps Regel on the shoulder and strikes a sleazy salesman grin. "Cool poem Reg." Wyvern clears his throat and pulls out a parchment that extends to the floor. The document rolls over Regel's feet and continues rolling down the hall with unsettling length. "Lisssten, I have this contract for the development of Almost Dragonic Brand Anti-Solicitor Wards and a couple thousand empty signature ssspaces that you might want to take a look at..." ;-)
OxygenPlant Posted September 7, 2007 Report Posted September 7, 2007 Haha, cool! This is very well done. I enjoyed.
Parmenion Posted September 21, 2007 Report Posted September 21, 2007 Very nice Regel. Good to see I aint alone in that approach to people making idle stupid comments The one thing I found letting the piece down was flow. While the syllable counts are fairly spot on throughout they sometimes negate flow. For instance: You stupid ignorant moron! Did you think I would smile and grin? When your words they did offend me And your manners are mighty thin. perhaps for the 2nd & fourth lines: Did you think I'd smile or grin, And your manners mighty thin. Enjoyed this one. Good work old man.
Da_Yog Posted September 25, 2007 Report Posted September 25, 2007 This was fun Regel. I like the way you keep the reader in the same suspense that the recepient of your ire is in. It adds a nice touch by imparting more meaning to the situation.
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