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The Pen is Mightier than the Sword

The Almost Report Broadcasts from the "Void"


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The news cameras tune in to a long shot of a banquet table loaded with all sorts of goodies - elegant roasts, leg of lamb, potatoes (baked, mashed, and fried), giant caesar salad, duck confit, thick vegetable soup and an odd jar of mint sauce to name only a few of the items on display. A platter of curly onion cheese doodles (voted "Preferred Snack Food of the Almost Report, 2007") has been pulled to the far end of the table, where Wyvern hogs dishes voraciously in large scoops and snout dips. The reptilian Elder guzzles another bowl of soup and stuffs his mouth full of pork nuggets, then snorts and lifts his head as he eyes the news cameras.

 

"Go-*gulp*-od evening, welcome to another Almost Report." Wyvern pauses for a moment and hits his chest twice, belching a short spurt of flame that turns the medium rare chicken platter well done. "Tonight, we take you live to what is reported to be the mysssterious new quarters of Yui and Aegon, where Yui-chan has reportedly invited pennites to celebrate her birthday with a little party. I ended up here without the use of a map, but Lord Panther reports to me that a sign with directions to the party can be found in the Cabaret Room. Pleassse come down and celebrate one of the most esteemed and ressspected members of the Pen. Happy Birthday, Yui-chan!"

 

Wyvern grins and leans back in his comfortable banquet seat, taking a moment to marvel at the banquet quarters surrounding him. They were much larger and better-furnished than Wyvern remembered Yui's previous quarters being, yet the dim lighting of the room had a very soothing and tranquil quality to it. A large chandelier made of only sparkling magical light hung above the table and cast its rays down upon the various appetizing dishes. Across the walls of the chamber, dancing shadows occasionally curve their ways through corners of light. Wyvern shakes his head and turns to a news sheet in his claws before his eyes can become too mesmerized by the details.

 

"In further newsss: do you have a tall tale that needsss tellin'? If you do, pleassse drop on by the Assembly Room and visit Sora Hikari's space for Lost Tale telling. We're expecting all sssorts of exotic Pen visitors from the event, including a number of potentially gullible consumers." Wyvern glances in both directions, then leans into the banquet table and raises a claw to his snout. "Don't forget that Lost Tales of Wyvern's successful schemesss and womanizing could count for the event as well. *ahem!*"

 

Wyvern turns his head as a gentle spot of light flickers by his snout like a will-o-wisp. He follows the path of the light with his eyes as it bounces to the Dreamer and begins to float over to Lord Panther, amazed by the grace (and potential marketability) of the dots movements. Wyvern then clears his throat of a few ashes and turns towards his news sheet again.

 

"To wrap up this evening's news segment, the Almost Report would like to unofficially welcome mindofvividcolors to the halls of the Pen. Feel free to check out her work in the Banquet Hall and be sure to give her a warm pennite welcome if ya get a chance. Note: proper warm pennite welcomes do not involve warnings against the use of Almost Dragonic Brand products, HINT HINT."

 

With that, the news cameras flicker off as the cameramen begin mingling with the others attending Yui's party...

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